


Gasping For Life

by boldcreations



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Comic/TV, Apocalypse, But so is my OC, Divorce, F/M, Lori's not a bitch, Military, PTSD, Romance, Service Animals, Sexual Content, Violence, Well sometimes a bitch, smoke jumper
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 11:13:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 51,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4433339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boldcreations/pseuds/boldcreations
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Rick ever wanted was to keep his family safe and happy-if that meant losing his wife to his best friend, he would reluctantly accept it, no matter the pain it caused. However, his sacrifices aren't always in vain. Finding hope for survival in one woman, Rick finds himself forgetting the pain of his ex-wife as his heart leads him down a different path, to something new.  Blair seems to draw him in like a moth to a flame, burning with the strength Rick wished he had. However, for someone who stands so tall in a world with corpses at her feet, it only means she can fall that much further.</p><p>Story still based in the Apocalypse, but does not strictly follow the show or comic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. As Rain Hits the Ground

The autumn season was beautiful for those who truly understood it, taking in the glory of the changing colours. It held the smell of moist leaves and dirt, giving the air an Earthy quality that only certain people could appreciate. There was no humid heat like the summer, or a biting chill like the winter; fall was soothing and neutral, a season in-between. There was peace in Autumn time, when the world was calming after the heat of summer and preparing for the cold of winter.

It was raining that day, leaving the entire land covered in a chilled layer of water. It seemed to wash away the grime in the world, clearing it of rot; cleansing the world.

This was why she loved Autumn.

Blair sat under the overhang of a porch, the small cabin buried deep in the forest and away from any main roads that could draw people to it. It had been raining for several days, leaving people to rush out of the open and try to find shelter somewhere stable and safe. She hadn't run into anyone else in the area, but there had been the odd dead person stumbling around. She loved the rain because it made the smell of dead flesh, and the rancid stench that came from them cooking in the sun all through the summer, finally disappear.

Inhaling deeply, Blair closed her eyes and took a moment to listen to the rain as it poured over the rusted eavestroph, the dead leaves inside causing the water to spill over like a waterfall. There were puddles and small rivers all around the little cabin, creating a mote for Blair to try and get over if ever she wanted to leave.

She had only wanted to tuck herself inside the cabin long enough for the rain to stop, hoping to avoid getting wet, cold and sick, but she hadn't expected to be stuck for three days. As much as she loved the rain, sitting in one place was beginning to put her on edge and made her go stir-crazy. Tapping the heel of her boot on the rotted wood of the step beneath her, she let out the long breath of air before rising to her feet.

Staying in one place so far from her group didn't sit well with her, so she felt it was time to move on. It had already been a week and a half since she'd left her group, telling them that she was going to be on a run for a while—which turned out to be longer than she had been intending.

"Titan," she called out, glancing over her shoulder to the open doorway of the cabin. The patter of claws sounded before a black and white Border Collie jogged out to meet her, the long fur on his tail waving like a flag as the appendage wagged excitedly. He'd probably be more excited to get out of that cabin than she was. "Time to go home, boy," she said with a smile, reaching out to scratch behind his ear affectionately. Her thick Scottish brogue came through as she spoke, strengthening her words.

Still quite young, Titan was basically a genius of a dog for his age. He was still a puppy when the infection had spread and she had been sure to train him to keep quiet and alive. Blair didn't want to lose the young one so soon, especially not to the dead. Blair's brother had done an amazing job with training the Collie, not only to never bark but to warn them discretely of the dead. If he ever smelt them nearby, he would whine quietly and lie down where he was, only moving when they gave him their safe word; 'Divert', meaning that they would divert their path to a safer route.

Her boots clunked on the wooden boards, Titan excitedly wiggling around her with his tail moving at super speed. "Calm, Titan. Calm," she ordered, holding her hand out, palm to Titan, and watched as he stilled gradually. Only when he was standing still did she tap his nose against her palm and give a praising pat.

Pulling her pack onto her back, tightening the strap, Blair made sure that she had left nothing behind in the cabin one last time. She didn't want to travel through the rain, especially with Titan, but sometimes she was left with just no other choice. Her pack slanted around her back, one strap across her chest in one direction, with another crossing in the opposite direction that held two machetes against her back, each in a sheath of faded black leather.

Neither she nor Titan gave a care to the water and mud as they stepped through the puddles and rivers around the cabin, more rain pouring down on them from through the canopy of dying trees. Titan's nose was raised up, letting him catch any scents that were dragging through the moist air. Blair never quite felt as safe without a dog at her side; there were four of them back at base and she always tried to take one with her on scouting jobs.

It didn't take long before her hair and clothes were soaked through, leaving her dripping with the rain. Titan was much the same, his once fluffy coat flattened down. She felt sorry that she had to drag him out into the rain, but she wasn't in any better of a condition. Reaching back for one of the machetes at her back, Blair pulled it out when Titan slowed with a faint whine, letting her know that something was wrong in the area.

It only took a moment for the biter to stumble out from around one of the larger trees, the skin of its face clean of blood and revealing the rot that had been masked underneath. Titan growled beside her, but Blair held out a hand to quiet him and instead stepped up to the biter with her machete, swinging at the face of the biter to slide clean through its skull.

The rain almost immediately washed away the gore from the blade, letting her see the visible black metal beneath. Flicking her wrist in a waving motion, Titan relaxed and jogged up to her again. She bench over to praise him, scratching behind his ears and wishing that she could give him a treat for what he had done but they were almost out of food.

Best to save the food for when they were supposed to eat, not only as a gift.

Titan was wiggling happily at the praise, happy to have done his job correctly and receive the praise that his mistress was giving to him. Blair smiled at his excitement before she turned away from him to look at the surrounding area, wondering which route she should take. She never followed main roads, since she knew that most survivors followed those routes. She met other survivors before, and unfortunately most had been extremely unkind.

She mostly worried for Titan, since he was rare in a world of the undead. People had tried to take him from her before, or the other dogs that her group trained. She feared that most of the time it was because they wanted to eat the poor thing.

Sheathing the machete back into place, Blair resumed her trek through the leaves and mud at a steady pace. No longer rushing as she had done in the past—everything would happen in due time, whether it was in her favor or against it. Titan trotted along beside her, his ears twitching this way and that, his eyes soon to follow as he kept a constant surveillance of their surroundings. One problem that came with the dogs was that sometimes her group members left all responsibility to them, letting themselves become unawares and almost end up with a bite because of it.

Blair refused to slack in her duties—she had just as much responsibility to keep Titan safe as he did to her.

They had been walking for a couple of hours, the rain coming and going, when Titan stopped and turned his acute nose in another direction. Instead of warning of a walker, he glanced over to Blair, who had stopped when he did, before veering off of their original path to follow whatever scent he had picked up. Blair frowned after him for a moment, watching as he continually lifted his head to scent the air before redirecting his course. Whatever the Collie had found, the rain was making it more difficult to track. Had she brought one of the Shepherds or Labradors, they'd have less trouble, but Titan seemed very determined to locate whatever was guiding him.

So, knowing that something important must have caught his attention, Blair followed. She kept herself prepared for anything to attack them, be it the living or the dead, with her hand near the handle of her machete. This went on for several minutes, Titan stopping and starting again whenever he nearly lost the scent. Mud and leaves had dirtied the fur around his nose, but he didn't show a sign that he cared as he trotted on as determined as ever. Blair kept close, but didn't interfere with his path so as not to muck up whatever trail he was on.

She knew basic tracking methods when hunting, but Titan wasn't hunting an animal. He had different cues for that.

Titan finally seemed to have caught exactly what he was looking for as thunder rumbled in the distance, warning of a coming storm, as he took off at a dead run in a direction to their left. Blair had to race after him, silently cursing his sudden obsession with whatever it was that he had found. He'd never just run off like that before. She was careful to keep track of his black and white fur through the trees, but the forest was hard enough to run through when it wasn't soaking wet with rain falling into her eyes every few paces.

"Titan!" she called in a voice as loud as she dared, but the dog did not cease for a couple of more yards. Only when he broke the bushes of an overgrown yard did he finally slow down, jogging up to where a ruined house was in shambles before them. Blair, panting from the chase, broke the trees after him with her arm wiping at the water dripping into her eyes. If she hadn't been soaked to the bone before, she certainly was now. "What got you in a fit," she grumbled to herself as she followed the panting dog, who had sat just beside the remains of the front porch, with a wagging tail.

He wasn't growling or tense, so it wasn't a walker, and he wasn't keen on it like food. Blair hadn't seen this reaction from him before; just sitting there staring at her, waiting.

"What did you find, boy?" she drawled out as she walked closer, noticing that he was beside a broken section of lattice that had once surrounding the underside of the deck, hiding the beams and dirt beneath. Holding onto the handle of her machete just in case, Blair knelt down next to the dog and peering into the gaping hole.

Staring back at her was a pair of terrified eyes, surrounded by pale cheeks and dripping hair.

Blair must have looked as bewildered as the child did scared, staring at one another before Blair had collected her wits and released her machete to kneel on the ground fully, getting a better look into the hole. "Are you alright?" she asked carefully, hoping that her Scottish accent wouldn't confuse the poor thing too much. The kid was so far back inside the space that Blair couldn't see properly and therefore had no way of telling if it was a she or a he, but the child was certainly terrified.

Of course, the child didn't say anything but only scooted further back.

"Hey, now, I'm not going to hurt you. And this one might lick you from head to toe, but he's sweeter than honey." Titan, as though to prove a point, decided to plant a nice long lick up the side of Blair's face, replacing the rain water with a slick line of saliva that had her making a face at the feeling. The feminine giggle the came from the shadows told Blair that she was dealing with a little girl, which made it easier to try and convince her to emerge from her hiding place.

Pushing Titan away gently so as not to get tongue attacked again, Blair tried to get a better look at the little girl.

"I promise, you'll be alright. I can find us somewhere dry to stay, so we don't get sick. I'm sure you're getting cold, just hiding under there." Blair reached her hand out in offering, smiling as gently as she could so as to appear unthreatening. She was sure that any kid that was left on their own would be terrified of anyone and anything, so she didn't blame the little girl for being so hesitant.

Slowly, the little girl shuffled forward until she could take Blair's hand and let the Scottish woman help her through the hole in the lattice. She looked around ten years old, but Blair wasn't certain. Dirty blonde hair was matted with water and mud, but she was relieved to see that there was no sign of a wound on her. Clothes torn and stained, soaked with water, Blair could see that she was already a pale girl, but the cold rain had probably gotten her sick somehow. She was already shivering heavily.

Remaining kneeled as she girl stood up, letting her have a slight height advantage, Blair smiled as she kept a gentle hold on the child's hands. "I'm Blair," she introduced. "And if you can't understand me, just let me know. I won't take it personally," she told her, getting a shy smile and nod from the child. "What's your name, lass?"

"Sophia," she answered shakily, her shivers coming through in her words. Titan took that moment to worm his way between the two females, wiggling excitedly at seeing someone new. Sophia gasped in surprise at the dog's wet, cold fur, but she timidly petted his wet head none the less.

"His name is Titan," Blair said as she pulled up to her full height. "He'll help keep you safe. Very smart dog." Glancing to the house that had been attached to the deck Sophia was once hiding beneath, Blair frowned at the condition. It wasn't suitable for the three of them to hide in, the roof gone and half of the walls burned and charred black. "First, we need to find somewhere to get out of this rain. Get dry."

Slipping off her pack and the belts that secured her machete sheathes to her back, Blair shucked off her jacket and shook it out once before she wrapped it around Sophia's shoulders. Waterlogged and heavy, it was still able to block the wind from her girl's bare arms. It dwarfed the child, but Sophia silently, gratefully, slipped her arms into the warm sleeves and wrapped it tighter around herself. Blair felt the chill as soon as the jacket left her arms, but she was more worried about the little girl than herself at the moment.

Once they were out of the rain, she'd find out what had happened to her. And whoever she had been with.

"Ready?" she asked patiently with an offered hand, to which Sophia took with much less hesitation. Her machetes and pack back in place, Blair led them away from the burned house to try and find some sign that they were near another cabin. They couldn't turn back for the one she had Titan had bunked down in before, too far away in the opposite direction, so instead she made her way along their original route.

She didn't want to risk taking out the map in her bag, packed in a watertight baggie, so she instead checked the compass she kept attached to her belt and resumed their southwest path.

Sophia was still timid, but Titan seemed to help calm her down whenever he trotted up to her side and licked at her hand that poked from the sleeve of Blair's jacket, or sniffed at her cheek with his wet nose. She giggled each time, scratching the happy dog behind the ears with a tiny smile that encouraged Blair a bit more.

"You feeling alright?" she asked after they had been walking for a couple of minutes. "Been in the rain long?"

"I couldn't find anywhere else to go," she admitted as she looked up at Blair's dark blue eyes, her auburn hair sticking to her head and trailing over her face where the strands had fallen loose. Sophia guessed the she must have a reddish hair colour when it was dry, since it looked like an odd brown when it was wet.

"That's alright, we'll get nice and dry soon. I'll find use a place, I promise." Blair's accent was a bit of work to decipher, but she'd been living in America long enough that it wasn't impossible. When she'd first arrived as a teenager, back in her senior year, she'd been a nightmare to understand. Even her teachers complained about her 'illiteracy'. She'd been forced to take lessons with vocal instructors, trying to lesson her accent. It happened on its own over time, and the lessons only provided a means for other kids to mock her.

That didn't last very long when her older brother started showing up after school to pick her up, a Master Sergeant in the Marines with an accent just as thick as hers. Only his made him terrifying just to listen to; the packed on muscle and scars from war didn't help much, since he looked like he wanted to kill everyone that he saw. Hilarious truth about him was that he was an absolute teddy bear.

Thankfully, luck was on their side. A couple of miles through the woods, they came upon a rather snug cabin that was tucked deep inside the forest, an overgrown path big enough for someone to walk along the only way to it. Blair sent Titan in first, even though the door and windows had still been intact, to sniff out if there was anyone or anything inside. He barked an all clear and was at the door to meet them when Blair led Sophia up the two steps that made up the entrance.

"Is it safe?" she asked the woman in front of her with weary eyes.

"Yep," Blair answered with an assuring smile. "Titan here can sniff out anything—like you! And when he barked meant that there was nothing in here." Glancing around, it looked as though the house hadn't been touched since the outbreak. There were some things missing in place, but no in the way that she had seen when a place had been ransacked. "Looks like we got lucky, lass, the place may even have a good meal."

For the first time since she'd emerged from her little hold, Sophia gave a true smile.

Not only was there some canned and bagged food, but there was clothes. Blair changed into a pair of sweat pants and a tank top she found in the master bedroom, the only bedroom, and brought out a pair of shorts and large shirt fir Sophia to wear while their regular clothes dried. Most everyday clothes were gone, but the worn ones that mostly would have been useless were left behind.

A couple of cans of corn, heated over a tiny fire directly in the can—one for each of them—and a box of rather stale crackers was their meal for the night. Blair filled a bowl of kibble for Titan and gave him a couple of crackers for his treat, since they were salted he only got a few but he loved them none the less. Sophia snuck him a couple when she thought Blair was unaware, but the Scot knew what she was doing and decided not to comment.

"So, Sophia, were you with anyone? Family? Parents?"

Sophia sobered quite a bit from where she had been running Titan's dog brush through his fur, the Collie lying rather happily on his side as she did so. "I had my mum, and some others."

Blair waited for her to continue for a couple of moments, but it was clear that something had spooked the child and she was scared of saying more. "Did you get separated from them?"

Nodding her head, Sophia looked away from Blair and focused on a knot in Titan's fur, brushing it out as gently as she could. "There was a whole bunch of dead people. They came up the road. Mummy and the others were all crawling under the trucks, so I did, too." Remaining quiet, waiting, Blair reclined on her side on the floor a couple of feet away with her torso supported by one elbow. Sophia was momentarily distracted by the candle flame lighting a silver chain at her breast, falling into her shirt, but she turned away before she could really see what it was.

Soon, Sophia continued on her own. "Miss. Lori was covering mummy's mouth. They were under another truck. Mr. Rick did this," she stopped talking to put a finger over her lips in a signal to be quiet. Blair nodded her head in understanding, letting Sophia know that she could continue. "I thought they were gone. I thought they had all passed." Sophia's voice quivered with her fear, pulling at Blair's heart.

Shifting her position, she moved over to lean against the wall near Sophia and tried to run a hand soothingly across the little girl's back. Sophia was trembling and her hands were fisted in Titan's fur, but not enough to hurt him. Even the dog was watching her with worried brown eyes.

"I started to climb out from under the truck—I honestly checked first!—and one of them was there. I tried to hide again, but he followed me under the truck. So I ran. I ran away from the road, into the trees. I thought I could hide there but he kept following me!" Sophia was beginning to cry and turned herself into Blair's arms, her face pressed against the woman's collar. "Mr. Rick told me to hide, in the pond under the tree, and I did! When they were gone, I tried to get back to the road but I didn't know the way. I kept hearing noises and I was scared they came back!"

"Hey, they're gone now. You're safe here. I'll keep you safe, Titan'll keep you safe. Nothing to worry about here. Once we've rested and our clothes are dry, I'll help you find your mum, aye?" she offered, running her hand along Sophia's back, through her hair or over her cheeks. The child nodded weakly into Blair's chest, her hands fisted into her shirt.

That night, Titan slept on the couch in the front room while Blair and Sophia took the large bed in the bedroom, leaving the door open in case the dog was trying to alert them of something. Sophia clung to Blair all through the night, especially when the storm passed overhead with great rumbles of thunder that quaked the house around them and flashes of lightning brilliant enough to blind.

Blair barely slept.


	2. Come the Dawn

Blair called Titan quietly into the bedroom when she rose the next morning, letting him up onto the bed with Sophia so the girl didn't wake up alone. It was barely even light outside, saturated storm clouds still thick in the sky and darkening an already early morning. Checking the clothes, barely a hint of damp left in them, Blair moved outside to make a fire ready to heat something for breakfast. Thankfully, she'd brought some sticks inside the night before which had dried and lit more easily, with less smoke, than the evening's meal had caused.

The forest was filled with the sound of dripping water, falling from leaves and branches onto the earth below. Just as she had the day before, Blair stood out on the front steps and took in deep inhales of air, enjoying the scent that wafted up to her. The wooden steps were soggy and cold under her feet, but she could already feel humidity collecting in the air in a late, summer swell.

Checking the fire, which was steadily growing, Blair rolled the cuffs of her sweat pants up and stepped, bare foot, into the mud that surrounded the house. Walking the perimeter, she was pleased to find a regular sized rain barrel that had a lid over it to keep leaves and other things out, with the drain from the roof filtering down directly into the barrel through a fitted hole. Popping the top off, she grinned at the clear water inside.

"Better than tap," she muttered to herself, scooping a handful and sipping at it carefully before she took another and gulped it down. She'd definitely be refilling her water bottles before they left.

Nothing else around the cabin would have been any use to them, the stacks of cut wood waterlogged from the rain the day before, the awning that had covered it long since broken away and ruined. Returned to the fire in time to secure the opened can of soup overtop, carefully balanced on metal rods, Blair was almost taken off her feet when Sophia flew out the door with her arms wrapping around Blair's hips.

"Mary, Mothing of Christ, what's wrong?" she asked, startled at the sudden attack by the child.

"I thought you'd left," Sophia whimpered into her pant leg. Blair immediately understood her fear and reached down to smooth her bed-mussed hair, petting her almost like a dog. Sophia calmed at the contact and soon released the Scot, letting her tend to their breakfast as she sat back on the steps and watched.

Blair gave Titan his breakfast and let him run around the perimeter of the cabin to do his own morning business while checking for any dangers. He soon returned, calm as ever, to sit beside Sophia on the steps. Blair was taking the chance to enjoy the morning before the rain began again, as she was certain that it would, so Sophia kept her company. Splitting the soup, vegetable and chicken, into two bowls, she and Sophia ate on the steps while Titan subtly begged for a piece of chicken.

"So, do you remember anything that might tell me where you got separated from your mum?" Blair asked once she was finished, letting Titan lick up the residual liquid from the soup out of the bowl. It was just a plastic one she had found in the kitchen, otherwise she wouldn't have let him do such a thing.

"Lots of cars. Mummy called it a traffic jam," Sophia answered as she held her bowl out to Titan as well, giggling when his long tongue licked over her fingers as he cleaned the dish.

"Traffic jam," Blair mumbled to herself, holding her hand out when she thought she felt a drop of rain. She hadn't passed any of those on her way through the area, but avoiding most roads would cause that to happen. "Any road names?"

Sophia shook her head while looking up at Blair with her green eyes, much more open and calm than they had been the day before.

More drops fell on Blair's outstretched hand and arm. "It's starting to rain. Let's get inside and I'll check my map, try to find that road." Snuffing out the fire with dirt and mud, Blair hustled them all back inside and closed the door behind them. Sophia was able to entertain herself with Titan while Blair sat at the tiny kitchen table with her map spread out, looking over the area. She knew the basic of where she had been before Titan took her on an elaborate detour to find Sophia, so it took a bit of searching with her finger slid along the paper until she had an idea of where they most likely were. From there, she began looking for a town or area with a big enough population to cause a traffic jam.

Quite a few miles away there was a highway. More than likely where people escaping the area would get stuffed up on the road.

"Sophia," she called calmly to the girl giving her dog the bellyrub of his life. Sophia reluctantly left Titan to look at the road that Blair was pointing at. "This is a highway, I think it's where you guys were caught in that jam. Where were you coming from?"

"Atlanta," she answered immediately, remembering the events of the CDC.

"How long were you on the highway?"

Shaking her head, Sophia honestly didn't know for sure. She'd been keeping herself busy in the RV with her mum, so she wasn't paying attention to the windows or out to the road. "I'm sorry," she mumbled to Blair. The auburn haired woman only shook her head with a smile of assurance and let Sophia go back to playing with Titan.

That was going to be a lot of road to cover.

Checking their clothes again, Blair decided that it would be better if they left as soon as possible. She didn't want to consider it, but there was a strong chance that the group Sophia had been with would leave if they thought the little girl was dead. Blair was putting all of her hope and faith in the mother, Carol, to keep them there to search for her daughter.

Packing up their things, giving Sophia a small bag from the bedroom, they dressed in their dry clothes and headed out with Titan in the lead. Sophia was wearing Blair's coat again, since there had been no warm shirts or sweaters in the cabin, but the lighter drizzle of rain wasn't as bad for Blair to endure while walking. She'd mapped out a route to take for the road, keeping her compass in hand to make sure that they were heading in the right direction,

Very few walkers came across their path, and Blair was quick to put them down before they got near any of them. Sophia stayed quiet and back with Titan until Blair motioned them forward, praising Titan for his early warning with a cracker from the night before. However, Sophia soon began to sneeze. Blair was already worried about her getting sick, but this only had her frightened about travelling as well.

"We can stop if you're not feeling well," she offered, crouching by Sophia when they stopped to take a drink from Blair's replenished water bottles. She'd been carrying the pack with the cans and bottles, taking on the heavier load, while Sophia's little bag only had her extra clothes and some trinkets inside that she had found in the cabin and wanted to keep.

"I'm fine," Sophia assured, sniffling a bit. Blair checked her forehead and cheeks, noting that they didn't appear warming than usual and nodded her head, accepting Sophia's decision.

When night started to approach, Blair and Titan were left feeling like they were teetering on the edge of a knife. The forest was darkening quickly and they had no place to stay for the night. Blair scooped Sophia up into her arms when the child began to stumble on roots and rocks, carrying her on her hip like a mother would. Titan was easy to keep track of because of the white of his coat, the faintest of light causing it to stand out in the dark, and Blair only used her flashlight to make sure she was still heading in the right direction on her compass.

It was only slightly off course from her original path, but that wouldn't have mattered to her anyway. She would do all she could to get Sophia back to her mother. She knew the fear of being separated from her group without any certainty of finding them again, and she wished to take that fear away from Sophia as best she could.

They weren't lucky enough to find another cabin that night, but there was an abandoned car that they piled into on a side road that travelled parallel to the highway. Thankfully, no one had died in it and the windows were intact so they were secure enough. Blair took the front seat while Sophia curled in the back with Titan for warmth, Blair's jacket pulled tight around her body.

Blair could feel the beginning of the autumn chill, but most of the cold came from the rain that had dampened their clothes again. Carrying Sophia for the last couple hours of their journey had tired her out, so Blair fell asleep sitting upright in the driver's seat, her arms folded over her chest with her head tipped back.

No dreams visited her sleep that night, and it felt like she had only just closed her eyes when Titan's whines woke her the next morning, light already spilling through the trees at dawn. The clouds and rain seemed to have passed, leaving the humidity of late summer to return to the forest, calling out the bugs and animals that had tucked themselves away in hiding.

Quietly slipping from the car, she opened the back door for Titan to hop out to go and pee, stirring Sophia in the process. Keeping an eye on the Collie, Blair pulled a couple of granola bars out for Sophia to eat and a dish of Titan's kibble for when he returned. Since the day was already warming quickly, Sophia returned Blair's jacket, which was tucked into her emptying bag.

Sophia's sneezing had dissipated through the night, but Blair still checked her temperature as best she could, getting grumbles from Sophia that made her feel like a mother with a grumpy child. "Hey, now, I don't want to return you to your mum with a cold," she defended herself, earning a timid nod from Sophia.

Before they set out, Blair carefully pulled Sophia's hair back into an extra hair-tie that she had—it was short, and some refused to stay pinned back, but it would help Sophia to feel better when the day really got hot. Blair's hair was braided back, catching Sophia's interest when she turned her back to expose the knotted pattern of hair that fell down her spine.

Not only was it the braid that caught her eye, but a tattoo as well. To the left side, on her shoulder blade, was a black and grey tattoo of what appeared to be a lion, reared back on hind legs with an almost serpentine tongue sticking from its mouth. She wanted to asked, but Titan whined a warning of walkers nearby so she lost her chance.

Blair didn't chance just running away and took care of the two walkers that stumbled from the woods behind them, only then letting Titan and Sophia join her on the path that would take them to the highway. As Blair had expected, the day was hot with the humidity thick and uncomfortable. Sophia soon relinquished her bag to the other woman when it tired her to carry, her clothes beginning to show stains of sweat. Blair didn't seem to mind the heat as she walked along at an easy pace, her shirt already showing a sweat stain along her spine and collar.

Since the day was far less gloomy than those before it, even though it was sickly hot, Sophia wanted to talk.

"Are you alone?" she asked out of the blue after they had stopped briefly for a drink and snack.

"Usually, no," Blair answered as she organized her things so that she could tuck Sophia's bag inside of her larger one, freeing up her hand. "I'm with some friends, and my brother. I was out on a bit of a scouting trip, looking for any area that wasn't hit bad by other survivors."

"What's your brother's name?" Sophia asked next, watching as Blair leant forward to grab at the bag's zipper, causing that silver chain against her chest to move and catch the light, drawing her eyes once more.

Blair smiled happily as she thought of her brother. "Connor." Zipping up the bag, she leaned back against the tree they were under to offer Sophia a happy look to her dark blue eyes. "Do you have any other family but your mother?"

Sophia wanted to mention her father, but it felt like a bad taste in her mouth. "No, but the group we are with is very nice." The way that Blair looked at her told Sophia that she was still just as bad at lying as she had always been, but Blair had the honor of staying quiet, since it was none of her business anyway. "Do you think they're still there?"

The question was one that Blair had hoped never to have to answer, but she knew that Sophia was not a foolish child. "I do," she answered in what honesty she was capable of. "A mother would never abandon her child willingly."

Sophia was as contented as she could be with this answer, so she followed Blair quietly after that, now and then speaking up or giggling in surprise when Titan popped over to them for a lick on the cheek or praise from Blair. The end of the rain also seemed to have roused the dead once more, leaving them to stumble now and then onto the path of the small group. Sophia always stayed back with Titan whenever they ran into one, letting Blair pull her machete free and drop the dead person before it even had a chance to rasp too loudly. They had remained as quiet as they could, doing their best not to draw the attention of the dead to them.

Sophia, usually ducking her face into Titan's fur, watched when a decayed man stumbled at Blair with a swipe of his arm, the momentum of it almost overbalancing him. Blair grabbed the offending arm and thrust the machete's tip into the soft underside of his jaw, breaking through weakened bone and muscle into his skull. Blood poured out onto her hand and stained the black machete red. The black and grey lion tattoo on Blair's back moved and rippled with her muscles as she pulled the blade free and let the dead man fall.

Once the walker fell, Titan relaxed and licked at Sophia's cheek in a comforting gesture before he trotted up to a waiting Blair, who praised him happily with her words and clean hand, producing a broken bit of cracker from her back pocket.

"Good lad, Titan, good lad!"

Pulling a dirty cloth from the front pocket of her bag, Blair cleaned her hand off as best she could before doing the same with her machete, sheathing it with a thought to do the proper job later. Sophia rushed forward to take her clean hand when the cloth was stashed away again, Titan sniffing off ahead of them as he licked the salt at his jowls. Blair was mildly surprised when Sophia took her hand suddenly, but only nodded with a smile before she continued her walk forward after her dog.

It was late morning when they reached the highway, with no traffic jam in sight. Briar kept them off the actual road, following it from the treeline as she headed in the direction of that the group would have come from if Sophia was right about coming from Atlanta. The child barely let go of her hand after that one walker attack, only doing so when other walkers met their path or when they neared a stream and gave Briar the chance to clean her hands and the dirty cloth of blood. Her machete was washed and dried last, everything soon back in its proper place as they resumed their travels.

When Sophia got tired from walking, Blair would carry her for a short while so as to let the child feel rested before she put her back on her feet and let her follow after her. Sophia usually kept herself close enough that she was either holding onto Blair's hand, or an article of her clothing. It helped to sooth Blair's concerns as well, letting her keep track of the child without constantly watching her.

The closest she'd ever come to having to watch a child was when she was helping to raise the dogs as puppies.

After the amount of time it took them to get to the highway itself, they found the traffic snarl pretty quickly. Sophia almost took off at a dead run, had Blair not been holding her hand at the time and yanked her to a stop.

"We don't know if they're alone here, Sophia. Be patient. Be quiet."

The little girl was trembling with the thought of seeing her mother again, but she remained at Blair's side as they wound through the deserted cars that were scattering erratically throughout the road. Blair had a machete out in her free hand, having spotted a walker stumbling in the far off clusters of cars, wanting to be prepared. Sophia seemed more on edge the moment the blade was produced, but she only tightened her hand in Blair's and stayed silent.

"Do you recognize any of these cars?" Blair asked Sophia in a hushed whisper, her eyes searching for the walker that she had spotted a couple of minutes before. She didn't want to just assume that it would have stumbled away, letting her guard down. Even if she was alone, she wouldn't have done such a thing but when there was a child in her care it made her extra cautious.

Sophia leaned this way and that, trying to get a better look around. "No," she finally denied. "But I…I don't know."

"That's alright," Blair assured, finally looking down to Sophia with a smile. "We'll keep going, make sure we don't miss a thing, yea?"

A couple of cars passed before Blair beheaded the walker they had seen, making Sophia turn away when she did so, and removing the most pressing concern that she had been thinking about.


	3. Silence Falls

Blair had returned to carrying Sophia through the cars of the traffic jam, the heat of the day causing the little girl to grow tired due to the pressing sun. Titan was enjoying himself, taking in all of the new scents and finding enjoyment in knocking litter around when he came across it on the highway. Not accustomed to carrying a child around, Blair's arms were beginning to grow tired and she would admit to getting fatigued long before the day was due to end.

Titan suddenly barked, the  _woof_  much quieter than it would have been if he was trying to alert her to something dangerous. His nose was in the air as he sniffed carefully, glancing back to where Blair was still carrying Sophia. The little girl lifted her head from Blair's shoulder at the sound, looking down at the fluffy black and white dog that stood a couple of yards in front of her.

"Did he find something?" she asked curiously.

Blair carefully put Sophia down on her feet. "Yea, but stay quiet." Looking at the child, she stared right into her eyes with complete seriousness. "Yea?"

"Mhm," Sophia agreed with an eager nod, wanting to prove that she could be helpful to the woman. She took Blair's offered hand and followed after her as the woman began walking more cautiously behind Titan. The dog's ears were pinned down to his head and his tail was low, showing his distrust for what he had found.

That bark meant people.

Not walkers, people.

Suddenly, Titan stopped completely, hunkering down as he spotted something past the last couple of cars. Blair motioned for Sophia to stay low and crouched down as well, walking with her knees bent and torso leant forward. Barely peeking past the hood of the car, Blair could see the forms of two men at the road, near a car that had a message, long since smudged and unreadable. There was only one word that she could make out, and that was the name 'Sophia' near the top of the windshield.

Turning around, Blair looked down at Sophia with complete seriousness. "Sophia, you stay here with Titan. Unless Titan whines or growls about danger, you  _do not_  move, understand?"

Sophia looked terrified that she would be separated from her guardian, but nodded her head none the less as she moved to cling to the Titan, who had remained tense since he'd first noticed the presence of other people. Blair gave Sophia one last look before she nodded to her and rose to her full height carefully.

They two men didn't notice her at first, too focused on their own discussion to glance her way. Stepping toward them with caution, she found herself questioning her sanity. She could see the guns each man had on his person, and she only had her machetes to keep herself safe. Her group didn't see the point in guns, since the ammo would eventually run out. Best to learn to protect yourself without one.

One of the men was older, his remaining hair already white with a fisher's cap on his head; the young man beside him barely appeared twenty and was of Asian descent. They didn't seem dangerous, or like they would hurt someone claiming to be unarmed—which is how she looked since her machetes were hidden beneath her pack.

Finally, the younger man noticed her.

All he had to do was stop what he was saying to alert the other man to a problem, leaving them both to turn and look at her. Blair's hands rose in instant reaction, showing her surrender before they even had to raise their rifles. "I'm not here to cause trouble," she called over to them, keeping her hands up. The Asian man seemed to most untrusting of her abrupt arrival, but he looked to the older man for guidance on the situation. "I'm just looking for someone."

"So are we," the older man answered cautiously, glancing over Blair's tall form. She stepped out from behind the car that had been blocking their view from Sophia and Titan, finally beginning to lower her hands. "Maybe we could help each other."

The sincerity in his tone made Blair offer him a true smile, relieved that—if he was from her group—Sophia travelled with a kind man. "That sounds like a perfect idea."

"Are you sure?" the younger man asked, keeping his voice low. Blair could still hear him, but didn't comment as she waited for one of them to make another move. "She could be with that other group from the town."

The older man contemplated what he'd said, even though it was lost on Blair. She didn't know what group they could be referring to, but she found herself worrying over what he had implied. This other group was, apparently, a threat to them. What if she ran into them while on her way back to base? She'd have to travel with more caution in the future.

"My name is Blair," she introduced at last. Sophia had told her all about the people from her group, so if she could just….

"I'm Dale," the older man answered in return before he motioned to the Asian. "This is Glenn."

A full smile lit Blair's face at the familiar names matching the somewhat childish descriptions that she had been given of the 'nice old man' and the 'awkward pizza guy'. Letting her arms drop to her sides, she angled herself to call over her shoulder, "You can come out."

Sophia popped up over the hood of the car like a jack-in-the-box, a smile illuminating her face as soon as she spotted the two familiar people from her group. Glancing back over to Dale and Glenn, neither of the men could conceal their shock at the sight of the little girl that they had been looking for. Sophia didn't waste a moment and ran passed Blair in a mad dash to get to Dale. Titan trotted out after her, having relaxed now that Blair gave the okay.

"You're okay," Dale was saying in awe as he knelt down to receive Sophia into his arms, welcoming her with a hug. "Your mother is going to be so happy." He looked near tears himself, having been ready to give up on believing that the little girl had survived so long by herself. Sophia was clinging to Dale in a way that made it seem she never wanted to let go, and Blair certainly couldn't blame her.

Titan licked at her hand, waiting to be praised for his good work. Blair gave a bright smile as she crouched down to scratch behind his ears. "Good lad, Titan. That's a good lad. You got her home." Pulling the last chunk of cracker from her pocket, the Collie gobbled it up in an instant before he commenced with bathing Blair's face in kisses.

"Blair!" Sophia called as she came running at her and Titan. Titan stepped back as Blair caught Sophia mid-run, hoisting her up onto her hip as she had done many times already. "Please, come back with us! I want you to meet my mommy," she begged, wrapping her arms around Blair's neck like it was second nature.

The Scot wasn't sure how to answer, glancing over to where Glenn and Dale were approaching at a calmer pace. "I dunno, lass, I should be getting back to my brother."

"Just for one night," Dale proposed with a smile. "Carol will definitely want to meet you and we can give you a nice meal and some supplies for the road. Take it as thanks."

She was still hesitant. It had been so long since she'd been around other people—excluding her group—so she was far from thrilled to be thrust into that situation. She'd intended to just find Sophia's mom, give her back her daughter and be back on her way. However, she was running low on supplies and it was a bit of a hike to get back to base.

And then there was the wide eyed looked that Sophia was giving her.

"Now I understanding what my brother meant about pouty children," she mumbled. Sophia apparently realized that meant her victory, because she broke out into a wide grin before hugging Blair tightly around the neck. While that had been happening, Titan apparently caught the scent of food on Glenn's person and was trying his hardest to get into the boy's pockets.

"Uhm…could you…call him off, please?" Glenn finally asked when Blair set Sophia back on her feet. Chuckling at the sight, the Scottish woman gave a low whistle that had Titan turning away from Glenn, his tail wagging excitedly.

"Come on, we've got a car over this way," Dale told her with a laugh, watching Glenn veer away from the sniffing dog. Blair assured them he was harmless, just hungry, but Glenn was still the first to jump into the passenger seat to get away from the dog that lay on the floor in the back. Having just spent the night crammed into a car, neither dog nor owner were exactly pleased at being back in one, but she supposed it was better than walking all the way back.

Her attention seemed to be everywhere at once; on the road, the forest, the signs. She didn't want to miss a single thing that passed them by. It was an old habit of hers that she'd developed after the first time she drove by herself, ending up getting lost because she hadn't paid complete attention. Her brother had called her paranoid until he called her one night after his GPS had died and he had no idea where he was.

Glenn was the one to open and close the gate at the end of the driveway, which turned out to be almost as long as the road to get there. Sophia was propped between the driver and passenger seats, trying to look out the front windshield as they approached the house. She was slightly too short, but when she craned her neck, she became aware of a woman sitting on the front porch of the white farmhouse.

"Mommy!" she called excitedly, causing Titan to jump at the sudden loud sound. Blair smiled at the child's happiness, relieved that she had been able to get her back to her mother. True, they hadn't been at the traffic jam, but her luck had held and they met up with some of the group just as they came to check for Sophia.

"She waits here every time we go out, waiting for us to come back with you," Glenn explained to the energetic child, her fatigue from walking melting away by the second as they drew close to the house. Blair, opposite to Sophia, was beginning to feel her stomach tighten with nerves. She did  _not_  want to be around so many unfamiliar people, but she knew that it was too late to turn back.

The car had barely come to a complete stop when Sophia had thrown open her door and hopped from the vehicle. Blair, Dale and Glenn watching through the windshield as Carol shot to her feet, almost tripping herself, before she clamored down the steps and raced to meet her daughter. Three matching smiles adorned their faces as Sophia was wrapped in her mother's arms and drawn close, the woman's tears dampening her shirt.

"Come meet the rest of the family," Glenn said with a grin as he looked back at Blair. He felt almost ashamed for his mistrust of the older woman when he'd first seen her, believing that she was a threat. He now realized that she had been sizing them up, trying to discovering if they were from Sophia's group and were safe to hand the child over to.

As he said this, she was looking toward the door of the house, dark shadows on the other side telling her that Sophia and Carol had drawn attention.

"Right," she drawled out before popping her door open behind Glenn's, letting Titan hop out first so that she wasn't trying to manoeuvre her legs around him. He didn't stray far, just as nervous as she was to be around so many unfamiliar people, and instead took a guard position next to Blair's right leg.

Another woman was the first to rush from the farmhouse, her long brown hair flying behind her as she rushed down the steps with a smile crossing her features. Blair noted the split lip she was sporting as well as some bruising on her forehead. She'd have to figure out where that came from before leaving; in the apocalypse or not, she wasn't going to stand for an abused woman being left in such a situation. After her came a blonde woman, then more men of varying ages.

She amused herself with the thought that they reminded her of clowns piling from a tiny car.

Carol had soon gotten back to her feet as Sophia ran over to a boy that looked roughly her age, greeting him with a hug as well. "Oh, Dale, thank you so much! Where did you find her?"

"We didn't," Dale answered, motioning back to where Blair had been completely overlooked from the other side of the car, a couple of feet behind Glenn. "She did."

All at once,  _everyone_  was looking at her.

Titan growled at the sudden attention, barely audible to anyone more than a couple of feet away, and his hackles began to rise. Blair shushed him immediately with a nudge against his side using her leg, snapping him out of the protective instinct. By the time she looked up from her dog, Carol was already upon her. The older woman's arms wrapped around her so tightly Blair wondering if her intent was to break a rib.

"Thank you," she breathed out, barely audible even with her face right at Blair's shoulder. "Thank you, so much for bringing her back to me." The sound of tears in her voice finally broke through the Scot's resolve and she loosely returned her embrace as Sophia raced back over to them. Carol released Blair and quickly wiped at her teary eyes, unable to stop herself from smiling as she took Sophia's hand in hers.

"Mommy, this is Titan! He found me!" Sophia called out excitedly, pointing over to the curiously sniffing dog. In answer to her point, he licked at her finger.

"And he loves to give kisses," Blair added on as she patted his head, letting him know that the situation was okay. Of course, now that a dog was in the picture, the little boy that Sophia had hugged snuck his way over as well and was assaulted by Titan's tongue just as thoroughly as he'd done with Sophia. He cried out in shock and tried to get away, stumbling back and giving Titan more opportunity to lick over his face. "Titan," Blair called in warning, not wanting the boy to be smothered.

Then she was taken into another hug, this time by the brunette woman.

"You have no idea what you've done for us," she said as soon as she pulled back, looking up at Blair's bark blue eyes. Blair was a few inches taller than her, while towering over Carol. Everyone in her family as tall, because both of her parents came from tall family lines as well. "I'm Lori," she introduced, before motioning to the rest of the approaching group. One by one, everyone was named and motioned to, each nodding their head or smiling in greeting.

In respect, Blair nodded back. "I'm Blair; as is customary, just let me know if you can't understand me, I won't take it personally," she offered, getting a round of laughs that helped to dispel any further tension from the gathering.

"Come on inside," Hershel offered once the laugher was reduced to smiles. "You look like you could use a good shower and a meal."

Abashedly scratching behind her ear, Blair looked up at him through her eyelashes. "I smell that bad?" Lori patted her on the arm as she chuckled at the woman's comment, noticing that Blair smelled more like rain than anything else. There was a faint trace of sweat, but it wasn't the most prominent thing about her.

"Come on, I'll show you where to go. You got extra clothes?"

"Yea—oh! That reminds me," she mumbled, dropping off her pack and unzipping it. Hefting out Sophia's smaller bag, she handed it over to her. "Don't want to forget this." She remembered that most of the things she had stuffed into the little bag had been followed by the comment 'I wanna show this to my mum'.

"Woah, what are those?" Glenn asked, finally able to see Blair's back without the pack. Her machetes were in plain view, sheathed but obviously a weapon. Not wanting to seem a threat, Blair easily undid the buckle on the support strap and let the worn leather fall loose in her hands.

"Machetes," she answered as she held them out for him to check. "My group doesn't use guns, since they're only a temporary security. Ammo's going to run out eventually." Focusing on Glenn, she didn't see the morbid expression that fell over the faces of some of the other group members. She was right, but they weren't quite ready to accept that just yet.

Glenn awed at the black blade as he pulled one from the sheath, the metal catching in the afternoon sunlight. "That's so cool," he mumbled while handing them back. She didn't bother to re-strap them, but instead slipped them into the freed up space of her bag.

"Can we play with Titan?" Sophia asked, glancing between her mother and Blair. The Scot looked over to Carol, wanting to have her permission before saying anything. When Carol nodded, Blair smiled and pulled a worn tennis ball out of her bag.

"He loves fetch," she said, leaning over as through telling the little girl a secret. "Watch." Looking back up the driveway, it was a straight shot with no fences in the way, so she drew her arm back and threw clear down the road, the bright yellow of the ball very easily tracked. Titan took off like a bullet at the ball, kicking up dirt and dust on his way. Sophia and Carl both laughed as they watched him run, his black and white fur a blur at the speed he was going.

When the kids took off after Titan, who now happily pranced around with the ball in his maw, Lori laughed softly. "That'll keep them entertained for hours."

"We've got a whole pack of dogs back at the base," Blair explained with a smile. "The group always has something to entertain them."

"Base?" Rick asked, alerting at the military word. "Military?"

However, Blair shook her head. "No, not a military base. It's a training compound for Smoke Jumpers," she explained. "But a good chunk of the people I worked with did serve." To offer proof to her words, Blair took hold of the chain that dipped into her shirt and pulled it free, the jingling of metal causing many eyes to widen as military dog tags were pulled from her shirt.

Her posture straightened and her feet fell to stand together, as she dropped the dog tags and offered a somewhat relaxed salute.

"Gunnery Sergeant Blair McMaster."


	4. Double-Edged

Blair was bent forward as her fingers scratched through her soap filled hair, striving to remove the sweat and dirt that had clung to it through the days since she'd left her group behind at the base. She was somewhat crammed into the little shower in Hershel's upstairs bathroom, but she was just relieved to finally get herself clean. Her clothes had been taken to be washed, leaving her with her found extras from the night before.

Soap ran in swirls down the drain, muddled brown and pink from old blood that hadn't fully washed away. Running her hands along her arms, torso and legs Blair could feel the raised hints of flesh, scarred from years before. She couldn't remember a time when she wasn't scraped up, falling down when learning to walk, or ride a bike. She'd never been a scared child, always daring to do anything and everything.

She'd broken her first bone when she was six, believing that if she leapt from the tree in the back yard that she could fly.

In high school, she'd been mocked for her ruined skin. In college, she'd been taunted for her tall, muscled form. But in the Marine Corps., she was admired for her skill and fearless nature. Connor, her elder brother, had been a Master Sergeant when she became a Gunnery Sergeant, one rank under him, and she never once thought back to the taunts and jabs from the cheerleaders in high school, or the strange looks from her fellow college peers.

Getting that approving nod from her brother, seeing his pride when he introduced her to friends or colleagues, she never regretted it.

Leaning her shoulder against the cold tile of the shower wall, Blair sighed to herself as she looked down the length of her body. Her stomach was tight, the hint of strong abdominals pressing against the skin, and her hips were prominent and wide, leading down to sturdy legs. The first glance people gave her noticed the broad and strong frame she was built out of, but the second glance took in the curve of her waist and backside, tight from crunches and squats.

She'd like to see the cheerleaders that had mocked her in high school compare to her flat abdomen now.

Out of natural reaction, her fingers lifted to trace over the ribs on her left side, where she didn't need to look to know her father's name and birth/death date was located. He'd been the one to support her in all of her endeavors the most, until his very last day. She'd made sure to keep him close to her heart, always.

In the room below her, Carol was making the bed that Hershel had offered to Blair for the night with a smile on her face. She could hear Carl and Sophia happily playing outside; Titan's excited barking letting her know that they were well taken care of. Blair's clothes had been snatched away by Lori as soon as the woman was in the shower, the woman clearly startled by the way she was being treated.

It was easy to tell that she was accustomed to different group dynamics, but she didn't protest to the attentions she was receiving, even if she was slightly startled by them.

The sound of the shower running overhead told Carol that she still had some time before Blair was out of the shower, so she looked around for something else to do. It felt like she needed to do more, to give back to the other woman in some way. She'd given her back her daughter, the one thing that she had left, and there was no way to fully repay that.

"You're gunna drive yourself crazy," Hershel said from the doorway when he spotted Carol smoothing out the wrinkles on the bedsheets. "You know that she wasn't doing it to be repaid," he pointed out as Carol once more glanced around the room. Something, she had to do  _something_.

"I know, I do, but it just feels like I have to do whatever I can while she's still here. If she's leaving tomorrow, I'll miss my chance-"

"Carol," Hershel interrupted, stepping up to place a warm hand on her shoulder. "You can see it just as easily as I can; the greatest reward she could have gotten was seeing Sophia back in your arms. Every time she sees you two together it makes her smile. You've already given her all she could want." His words seemed to help soothe Carol's jittering nerves just slightly as she nodded in agreement. "Patricia could use some help with dinner, if you're really looking for something to do."

Smiling to him gratefully, she rushed for the kitchen just as the running water cut off in the washroom over their heads. Hershel smiled as he glanced up briefly before he left the room as well, heading out to find Rick so he could speak with him about Shane. He hadn't gotten the chance to after the excitement that happened with Randal and then Sophia coming home.

The group tried to continue on with their regular routines, but everyone seemed caught up with not only one, but two new people on the property. Randal was locked up in the shed, of course, but Blair was something much more curious to try and get a glimpse of—even the adults were trying to get near her, to hear her and see her. She was something new, like a flashy gemstone that transfixed them.

Sophia praised her to high heavens and told them about how they'd found the cabin, and how she'd carried her through the dark the night before. About how she'd been found and returned to her mother. It was something so innocent and awe-sounding when it came from the child, leaving Carl gaping when she told him about how she and Titan worked together to keep them safe from the walkers.

"She sounds reckless," Shane mumbled after he had overheard the little girl gushing about the new Scottish woman on the property.

"What?" T-Dog blurted out in surprise, having been settled on the porch swing as he, too, listened to Sophia retell about the woman beheading a walker. "How? She taught her  _dog_ how to warn her for walkers."

"I still want to know how she did that," Andrea commented from where she was sitting on the wooden floorboards, a cloth draped across her thighs as she cleaned her gun the way that Shane had taught her. "And you saw those tags; someone doesn't just step into the role of Gunnery Sergeant. And did you see her arms? She could probably have dropped Merle with one punch."

Shane scoffed at the very thought, but didn't bother to add a comment when his attention caught on Rick and Hershel near the fence to one of the fields, standing close as they talked over something. His eyes narrowed as he watched them, trying to read whatever it was that they were talking about. He didn't like that Hershel went right to Rick about everything; he'd been the one to take care of the group before Rick had shown up and he'd done a perfectly find job of it.

Then, Rick glanced his way. The lines on his face were prominent with the frown that was etched across his features.

Blair didn't know what she had stepped into when crossing that property line. The boards on the stairs creaked as she stepped over them, her feet bare and the sweats she was wearing just barely skimming the backs of her heels. She felt exposed in the found clothes, lacking her usual machetes and heavy supply pack. She could hear women talking in the kitchen, men talking outside, kids laughing and shouting from the yard.

It was weird.

Standing at the base of the stairs, she didn't know which way to go.

"Blair!"

Turning at her name, the Scot was relieved to see Lori approach her with a smile, her boots clunking on the hardwood. "Hey," she said awkwardly, giving a hesitant smile. Lori couldn't help but to smile wider as she took in the other woman, by her guess a couple of years older than her. She looked completely refreshed, un-brushed hair pushed back along her skull to give it a slicked look. Her cheeks were flushed from the hot shower and her pale skin appeared healthier than it had when she'd first shucked off her clothes to hand over.

"You look good this way," Lori complimented, motioning up and down the clean woman's body. Blair glanced down herself, taking in the fact that her wet hair was making her tank top slightly see-through at the collar. "Come on, I'm pretty sure Sophia's been telling everyone the heroic tale of how you two met. I'm sure everyone's got some questions if you're up for it."

It didn't really feel as though she had a choice in the matter. "Sure," Blair finally agreed, letting Lori guide her in the direction of the front porch. She could recognize the voice and tried to remember what name went with what face; thankfully, everyone seems to suit their name quite well and let her recall T-Dog, Andrea and Shane easily.

"Hey," the blonde greeted first, taking in Blair's cleaner form.

Nodding back to the other woman, she followed Lori over to their little gathering of people. "Damn," T-Dog said once she was standing next to where he was sitting. "You are tall."

Blair let out a booming laugh, unable to control herself. She was five foot ten, rather tall for a woman but still quite tiny in comparison to the men in her life. "My older brother's six feet, eight inches. I'm the short one of the family," she explained as she grinned down at him, watching the blank shock fall across T-Dog's face.

"Your brother military, too?" Shane asked as he leaned casually against the deck's support beam, his hands tucking into the pocket of his jeans. To most, he looked like he didn't have a care in the world but Blair knew better. She was being sized up, and she did not like the feeling. She hadn't undergone such scrutiny since first entering the military, getting yelled at and insulted on a constant basis.

"Aye," she drawled out, crossing her arms beneath her breasts in a relaxed stance. It mirrored the attitude of Shane, only her eyes given away the hard, critical edge to her present mood. "Master Sergeant, retired a couple of years back."

"Couldn't hand the pressure?" he sneered, getting a cutting glare in response. Andrea almost shivered at the cold look in the Scot's eyes.

"He'd gut you for saying that," she stated outright. "I hear you're a cop—it's a joke if you think you can stand even a day in our lives." Shane pushed away from the beam aggressively, stepping right into Blair's personal space even as Lori tried, unsuccessfully, to defuse the quickly escalating situation.

"You best take care who you're talking to," he growled out, trying to look as imposing as possible. It was lost on Blair, however, since she was tall enough to meet him eye to eye with an iron grip on her rage. Shane was easily angered, she could see that already, and she knew that if she got him riled up enough she could get him to swing at her. At least it would give her the chance to punch him, no questions asked.

"I've dealt with rookies with more balls than you," she sneered right back. "So piss off."

Just as expected, his hand snapped out in an attempt to backhand her. Blair leant back enough to dodge the blow, but her hand grabbed Shane's wrist before it fully passed her person. It a skillful under-twist, she had his arm behind his back with the man bending at the knees as he tried to relieve the pressure she was putting on each joint from shoulder to fingers.

"Hey!" Rick called as he ran for them, not liking the looks of the situation.

"Shane swung first," T-Dog called back, sounding amused with the entire situation. Even he wasn't stupid enough to swing at someone that ranked at Gunnery Sergeant. That would have taken years to achieve and a lot of hard work. Shane wanted to get his ass handed to him, he'd cheer the Scot on if it meant getting a front row seat. Lori, on the other hand, was watching with a nervous eye as Shane's face contorted in pain.

It was a look of worry that Rick didn't overlook as he took in the situation.

"Please, just let him go. We don't need any violence," Rick persuaded calmly, holding a hand out as he approached Blair.

The auburn woman scoffed. He was acting like she'd lunge at him if he got too close. "Let's get one thing clear; I'm only here because of Sophia. I don't want to be here anymore than you want me here," she said as she pulled as Shane's arm, getting a groan from the man. "Next time you try and insult my career, my  _family_ , I'll give you a swift kick to the balls and see just how strong and  _manly_  you are then."

Shoving at Shane, she could at least credit him for catching his balance instead of face planting on the deck. Lori was quick to check on him, asking if he was alright. However, with his pride wounded, Shane shrugged her off and stormed off the porch like a temperamental child. "Was that necessary?" Lori asked Blair incredulously as she turned to look at her with wide eyes.

Blair met her with a steady stare.

"How'd you get hurt?" she asked calmly.

Lori looked outraged at what the other woman was insinuating. "A car accident," she snapped, looking ready to shout at Blair. "You have no right-"

"That's not always the case," Blair interrupted before she could continue. "I've met my share of women that were abused by men just like him—thinking the sun shines out his ass. I've made men bigger than him  _cry_." Lori was left silent at Blair's words, not quite sure how to take the woman's outburst. "Defending him like that, babying him, you're feeding that attitude; keep letting it get worse and the next time someone asks you how you got hurt, a car accident will be the  _excuse_."

The tension on the porch was tangible as the group stood in silence, no one daring to be the first to speak. Lori could only attempt to swallow the sudden lump in her throat, trying to avoid looking Blair in the eye. Andrea could only glance over to T-Dog, who had very quickly become awkward to the entire situation as he looked anywhere but the Scottish woman a couple of feet away.

Rick was glancing between Blair and Lori, terrified at the truth in the woman's words. Shane was dangerous, and he was also attracted to his wife. He knew that Lori cared deeply for Shane, and the fact that his marriage with her had been falling apart long before the apocalypse only solidified the reality that he was losing her.

Shane was dangerous, territorial, and he'd do whatever he had to in order to take his place as Lori's wife, Carl's father. The father to the baby presently growing in his wife's womb. Shane's masculinity had been put into question by Blair, a woman, and he'd immediately lashed out at her. He'd tried to strike a woman he didn't know, who had risked herself to save a child she didn't know and had no responsibility over.

Rick wasn't sure what it was; her resistance against Shane's dominating attitude, the steel look in her eyes as she held him with strategic power on his arm, or the reality that came with her words as she looked to Lori with terrifying truth. She just seemed to…burn with unknown power. Unknown answers to questions he hadn't known he had.

A then the cold was gone, the steel of her eyes softening as Sophia's soft voice called from the yard.

"Blair! Titan's sleepy!"

The shout from Sophia had taken the chill from the air surrounding the adults, letting them relax as they looked to where the girl was giggling down at the panting Border Collie, the dog's tongue lolling out of his mouth as he lay in the grass near the deck. Blair's lips turned up in a smile as she walked passed the still frozen Lori, stepping easily down the stairs to approach the children.

"Wow, you tired him out. Good job!"

Sophia giggled at the praise, beaming over to where Carl was sharing in the happy atmosphere. The adults watched from the porch as the intimidating Sergeant disappeared and was replaced with the calm, happy woman that was showing the children how Titan best liked to have his belly scratched, and explained that they should let him rest for a while if they wanted to play with him again.

Her voice was soothing, like a mothers, and as patient as Carol or Lori's whenever they were dealing with their children. She seemed to teeter on the edge of a blade, ready to tip in either direction—soldier or mother—at any given moment. But Rick was beginning to see that she had excellent balance, and she had been teetering there for years already. It would take a lot more than  _Shane_  to cause her to fall.

"Oh! You're all here," Carol gasped in surprise as she opened the screen door to the porch. "Dinner's just about ready. Kids, come wash your hands!"

Even as the children complained, they followed her orders while Blair remained crouched next to Titan, nudging them along until they were out of arms' reach. Titan huffed and laid his head down on the grass at the moment of peace that he was given, causing the woman to laugh as she scratched behind his ears.

"Good lad," she mumbled softly. Her heart still felt like it was racing in her chest, her hands giving the faintest tremble. Shane had brought forth memories of the life she had lived before entering the military, before she learned that she was strong and could take care of herself. It made her want to run back to her brother, to the shield that she had hid behind for so many years.

Inhaling deeply, she straightened up to her full height as she clapped her hands to remove the dog hair that had gotten onto them.


	5. Whatever Helps You Sleep at Night

It was full nighttime, everyone else already having gone to sleep, except for Blair. She sat on the front porch of the Greene home, the worn tennis ball of Titan's rolled between her palms as the dog panted and yawned beside her. She'd only taken him out to pee and then he'd gone and found the ball from earlier, left on the grass. Smiling at the adorable expression on his face, Blair reached over to scratch his head as she placed the ball between her bare, grass-stained feet. The night was a bit on the colder side, but she had no problems with the cold—never had. It was the heat that made her feel like she was going to keel over or melt.

Stretching her arms over her head, her shoulders cracked pleasantly. She'd gone to bed the same as everyone else, but found it hard to fall asleep. It was like she was out of place, on edge in an unfamiliar territory. All the years of moving from place to place because of her work, she had thought it would get easier.

Maybe it was the attention she was getting from everyone, having been questioned all through dinner about her life, her family, how she trained Titan. It was an ambush.

Feeling a nudge against her leg Blair looked down to see Titan once more nudging the ball with his nose, asking to play. Huffing out a laugh she reached down and snatched up the ball, causing the young dog to immediately leap to his feet excitedly with his tail wagging and body wiggling energetically. Stepping away from the porch, Blair lifted her hand to shush him before she threw the ball toward one of the fences, making sure that it didn't bounce over because she could barely see over there as it was.

However, she was not as alone as she had thought.

As quiet as she and Titan had been, Rick woke to the sound of movement on the property, distant from their tents but still audible. Slipping out of the tent he shared with Lori and their son, already wearing his pants and shirt, all he had to do was slip his boots on as he stepped out into the night. It was chilly that night, the moon full without a cloud in sight.

The available moonlight allowed him to see who had been out and about in the middle of the night. The new Scottish resident of the farm was tossing the worn tennis-ball for the Collie she'd brought with her, as relaxed as could be in the dead of night. Even in the chill that the night brought, she was in only her tank top from earlier that day, her shoulders and arms bare to the open air.

Seeing the light flash on her porcelain white skin, it was easy to see the flex and move of her biceps. She didn't even focus on the movements much as she tossed the ball, paced until the dog returned it and then threw again. It seemed therapeutic for her, a relaxed exercise. Titan noticed him before Blair did, stopping at her feet and sitting down after he had dropped the tennis ball. Blair seemed to know this as a signal and looked over her shoulder, in the direction that Titan was facing.

He knew that she saw him, it was easy to tell that she noticed him immediately. However, she didn't say anything in greeting.

Continuing to approach, Rick suddenly felt like he was intruding as he slipped his hands into his pockets. "Night owl?" he asked in greeting, getting a smile of amusement from the woman.

"More like the owner of one," she mumbled back, making sure to keep her voice soft so as not to wake anyone else in the area. "Sorry if I woke you."

"That's alright," Rick assured, waving off her concern. "You looked tired earlier at dinner," he pointed out, "I'm surprised your up."

Blair smiled before she threw the tennis ball again, watching as Titan launched himself after it. "I'm used to it by now," she answered easily, "Between the military, the Smoke Jumping, the apocalypse, I don't remember the last time I've had a full night of sleep." Rick walked up to stand beside her as Titan retrieved the bright yellow ball and quickly made his way back to her. Instead of taking the ball from him, she pointed toward Rick and Titan darted to his side, offering the ball.

He looked surprised at the action, but took the ball from him and threw it in the same direction that she had before. Blair watched Titan take off again, leaving her and Rick standing side by side as they watched him.

"You're going to be leaving tomorrow?" he asked finally, keeping his voice as low as before. He knew that Blair had no problem hearing him, her eyes slanting to look at him.

"If everything goes right," she answered, almost as though she didn't really want to answer him. It was understandable, he was sure that she'd been asked about her departure quite a bit since she'd emerged from her shower in the evening. "I need to get back to my group. I've been gone too long as it is. Knowing my brother, I'm getting a smack on the back of the head for staying away this long."

He would have been concerned at one time to hear her talk about being abused, but there was mirth in her tone that told him it was more an overprotective punishment for making him worry. "How many people are in your group?" Rick asked out of curiosity.

"Uhm…" Blair stopped, thinking. "Seven—well, eight including me."

"Did you know them before this?"

"Yea, they're all people from the base. Not all are smoke jumpers; Claire was the base chef, and Dominique was the field nurse."

"You guys have a nurse? An actual nurse?"

Blair was well aware that Hershel was a veterinarian, not a doctor, so it made sense that Rick would get excited at the prospect of someone with real medical training for humans to still be alive. "Yea, she was in the military and joined the Smoke Jumpers about a year before me."

"Military family," Rick commented with a faint laugh. "Anyone there not a vet?"

Blair opened her mouth, before pausing to think. "One, he was a firefighter before he became a Smoke Jumper."

Rick shook his head in disbelief. A firefighter and a plethora of Military men and women. "I wouldn't want to run into your group on a run," he admitted, causing Blair to grin as she withheld a laugh, crouching down to take the ball from a panting Titan and scratch behind his ears. "How many dogs do you have?"

"Five; Titan, then two German Shepherds—Bruno and Cugo—and a white Husky/German Shepherd mix named Ice, and finally a Doberman that my brother decided to name Tutankhamun because he looks like Anubis. Could have just named his Anubis, but no—so we just call him Tut." Standing up again, Blair dusted the fur off of her hands as she smirked over to Rick. "We've got our very own guard-dog militia."

Seeing her smirk for the first time seemed to bring a fire to her eyes that made Rick want to smirk back, but he repressed the urge and just smiled instead.

However, her expression soon darkened as she looked out over the property, the amusement and pride bleeding away from her eyes. "You guys shouldn't stay here. Take Hershel and his family with you and leave," she warned so sudden that Rick found he didn't know what to say. He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't find the words to articulate his confusion. "Those fences are weak and if a herd blows through it won't stand a chance."

"There's at least three fences between the edge of the property and the house, I'm sure it'll-"

"I've seen these things decimate towns, Rick. There is no safe place to hide when a large gathering of them heads your way. The most you could do is try to deter them the best you can and find a safe place to hide."

"So far, this is the best place we've found."

"If you stay here, you need to prepare yourselves more. You need to reinforce what fences you have, try and find a way to draw walkers away from the property lines. And for Lord's sake, keep quiet." Turning to face Rick again fully, he could see the seriousness in her eyes and found himself hanging on her words. "First one or two will hear you, then a couple more, all walking this way. Other's will see them moving and follow instinctively—the group will just keep getting bigger and bigger until you're overrun."

The way she spoke, it wasn't just her wanting to do all she could to warn him, but there was a fear in her words. She'd seen this happen, probably experiences it somewhere along the way. She didn't want them to die—she'd had time to spend with them, and there were children on the property as well. Any other time, she'd force them out. But she couldn't do that when there were kids, so easily frightened and barely hanging on to any kind of normality.

"Where could we go?"

"Bad as it sounds, somewhere smaller than this. Somewhere that it won't be easy to draw attention. The country's a good start, there're less of those things to worry about. But…they migrate. When they start to run out of food, it's almost like they realize and they cluster together in those groups in search of new meals."

"You think they're capable of intelligence?" Rick asked doubtfully, but Blair shook her head.

"No, the only thing they know is to eat. The sound of people, the smell of them, that's all they know and the only thing they can do is follow it and try to eat it."

Swallowing thickly, Rick lifted a hand to run through his hair tiredly. Blair looked him over with sympathy, understanding that he was carrying the burden of leading this group. She was glad that her family at the base had decided against electing a leader—they worked so much better when they discussed their problems as a group and everyone had a say before it came to a majority vote on what to do.

"Don't carry this burden, Rick," she advised softly as she picked up Titan's tennis ball, holding her hand out in a still motion to tell the dog that they would not be playing again. Titan understood and calmly followed her as she approached the tired man. "Rely on the people around you, go to them for help. They won't think you're weak. Sometimes, the tough decision doesn't have to be made alone."

Gripping one of his tense shoulders in her hand, Blair wished she could offer more.

"Get some rest," she offered instead, "I'll see you in the morning."

Rick couldn't help but to turn to her, watching her approach the front porch of the house. He could see the dark shadow of the tattoo on her back shoulder, the defined bones shifting beneath thick skin as she swayed her arms at her sides, a relaxed march. Titan followed her obediently, waiting for her every command. He just didn't know what to make of this woman—she seemed so strong, and not only because of her military training but also because of her confidence when living in this new world. But he could see in her eyes when he'd first approached her, there was a haunted look that he recognized. It was a look of someone who had seen too much.

He wondered what had really woken her. Why she was really up, trying to move and stay awake with the dog she considered her guardian.

Blair was careful not to track mud and grass into the Greene home, knowing that she was a guest and needed to be respectful to the people that were welcoming her into their home. She did the same with Titan, as much as she knew he hated having his feet washed, before directing him to lie on the old blanket that Hershel had placed beside her offered bed.

Splaying herself across the mattress, she wasn't sure what to do. She felt that she was too awake to go to sleep now but her muscles were weakening and she was fighting back the urge to yawn every couple of minutes. Usually she'd go to the kitchen at the base and raid the chef's tea stash, since she had a couple with herbs that helped to calm or relax.

She couldn't wait until she was back home. At least it would allow her a night of proper sleep.

Within a couple of minutes, she could hear the faintest of snores coming from Titan's prone form, causing her to grin into the pillowcase. Because of the habits of the men she lived with, each having training one of the dogs, all of them snored in varying degrees of pitch while sleeping. Titan was the quietest, thank god, but Bruno sounded like a bear when he slept. The dogs really did take after their owner.

It took nearly a half an hour, but soon Blair had relaxed enough that she was soon lulled to sleep by the sound of the dog's soft snores, her face pressed down into the pillow with her arms thrown out on either side of her. She was a bed-hog, all of her past relationships had told her so. However, she was apparently also a furnace and never once stole the blankets.

She was lying in the exact same position when Carol knocked lightly on her door the next morning, peeking into the bedroom as she did so. She had to smother a laugh at the sight of the woman and dog, one stretched out on her stomach and the other splayed on his back, taking all of the space in their respective beds. She almost didn't have the heart to wake the woman, as she seemed to be sleeping quiet peacefully and deeply—however, if she didn't wake her now then Sophia will much more rudely once she wakes up.

"Blair," Carol called softly as she took hesitant steps into the room, closer to the Scott. "Blair, it's morning."

Reaching out, Carol's hand hovered over the woman's ankle. Just as she was about to touch the strong calf muscles that resided above it, in hopes of gently waking the woman, someone took hold of her shoulder to stop her. Carol jumped in surprise, but was able to keep her startled gasp inside. Spinning around, Rick was behind her with a finger to his lips, shaking his head.

Looking confused, Carol silently asked him why he had stopped her. In wordless response, Rick motioned to where Blair's hand as resting near the pillow she wasn't sleeping on. Had he not pointed it out, she would have missed it, but the woman's hand was holding onto the hilt of a knife, mostly buried beneath the pillow and out of sight.

Rick had expected she'd sleep with some sort of defence and had hurried to follow Carol and when she left to wake the woman up. Tugging Carol back, the two entered the hall and Rick drew the door most of the way closed, leaving an inch and a half for them to look into the room. Then, he knocked firmly on the wood of the door.

Blair jolted immediately, eyes snapping open and a hitch in her breath sounding in the room. In answer, Titan rolled sharply onto his feet with a growl, searching for danger. It took five seconds for Blair's tense shoulders to ease and a soft  _shhh_  to leave her lips, quieting Titan's low warning growl. Had Carol grabbed her ankle or touched her leg, she probably would have reacted much worse.

Drawing the three inch hand knife from beneath the pillow, Blair rolled across the bed to where Titan was standing, reaching out for him immediately. Soothing him with gentle murmurs and soft caresses, just as his presence worked to soothe her in return.

Rick had seen enough and quietly pulled the door closed, motioning for Carol to follow him to the kitchen. "What was that?" Carol asked with her voice still a low whisper once they had reached the kitchen, the distant sounds of others reaching them from through the open windows.

"PTSD," Rick answered. "Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder."

"From the war," she realized aloud, glancing back in the direction of the bedroom door.

"I heard her last night, out in the yard, so I went to see her. She looked dead tired but she wasn't sleeping. Something was keeping her awake. I don't know if it's just insomnia or nightmares, but something prevented her from sleeping. I assume that holding that knife at night helps her to sleep."

Carol leaned against the counter as her hand fell over her mouth, awed at the news. She hadn't suspected anything of the sort while spending time with the woman the night before—she was quiet, and a bit on the shy side, yes, but she hadn't seemed like someone who had suffered from such a harsh disorder as PTSD. However, as someone who came from a war family, she probably knew much more about the disorder that most. The support system that was all around her would have helped her to work through her troubles.

"I didn't realize, I'm sorry," Carol blurted out in shame.

"Not many people do, Carol. It's not your fault. I didn't realize right away either and I've seen it quite a lot over the years. Some just handle it better than others. And Titan…I'm pretty sure that Collie is a support dog for soldiers returned home. You saw him in that room, he reacted to her sounds."

"Which is why I let him stay in the house last night," Hershel commented as he entered the room, smelling of hey from where he'd been out feeding the horses and doing his morning rounds. "I'm seen plenty of service dogs in my time and I know the training when I see it. He never left her side unless she ordered him to. I know she wouldn't have said anything about it so I just let him sleep in her room."

"That was very kind of you," Carol commented with a sad smile. The three ceased their conversation, however, at the creak of Blair's door down the hall followed by the familiar tapping of Titan's nails on the hardwood flooring. The black and white Collie trotted into the room with his tail swinging to and fro, immediately heading for Rick. Clearly, he remembered the man that had thrown the ball for him the night before.

"Uh-oh, he likes you," Blair teased as she entered the room a moment later, fully dressed in her freshly washed clothing. "Expect lots of kisses and demanded belly rubs."

Rick didn't seem to mind the dog's attention as he crouched down to his level, scratching him soundly behind the ears. Immediately Titan's eyes closed as his tongue lolled out the side of his mouth—his breath smelled foul, but Rick didn't even flinch. He'd smelled worse over the past couple of weeks. Just as Blair had warned, too, the beautiful dog rolled over onto his back with his head resting nest to Rick's boot, belly exposed.

Blair laughed at her dog's antics, knowing that anyone that got on his good side was immediately his new belly-scratcher. Most people were so eager to have a dog like them that they would do as he bid without a second thought—and Titan, being the smart dog that he is, realized he always got his way whenever a 'dog lover' tried to get his attention.

"Greedy pup," she muttered affectionately as Carol smiled at the display. "Thank you for letting him sleep in the house last night, Hershel. I prefer to have him close when I'm off base." The white haired man nodded his head in understanding, but didn't go any deeper into the conversation.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked instead, trying to sound the welcoming host and less the concerned father. Blair had chosen to keep her condition to herself so they would respect her wishes.

"Well enough," she answered almost timidly, running a hand back through her loosely tied hair. It was naturally wavy but was tussled after a night of sleep. "I always have a bit of trouble sleeping in new places, but once I fell asleep I was a log."

"Are you sure you want to head out today?" Carol asked, quickly adapting to her worried mother look. "You could spend another night, get some more rest before you head out."

Blair looked at Carol with a mixture of gratitude and apology. "I really can't—it'll take me a few days to get back to the base as it is and I've already been away longer than was scheduled. If I'm not back a week after the agreed date, they send someone out to look for me. I don't want them sending someone out when I'm perfectly fine, just got a bit off track when I found Sophia. Knowing my brother, he'll volunteer."

Nodding solemnly, Carol sighed ever so softly. "Well, I hope we meet again."

Blair smiled at the other woman. "I'm sure we will. You have a strong group here, people that I'm sure will survive the odds."

"Before you leave, Rick and I want to have a quick word with you. Carol, could you help Patricia with breakfast?" Carol agreed immediately, wanting to do her part, and rushed out to where she knew Patricia collected the eggs from the chickens for breakfast. Once she was gone, Hershel motioned Blair to follow him and Rick into the dining room, Titan her ever present shadow.

"It's about the fences," she started before he could and took the seat that he motioned toward. He was sitting at the head of the table, with Rick to his left and Blair to his right, facing one another. Blair almost felt like they were having some sort of meeting, but the only times she'd ever sat through those was when she'd been constricted in her full uniform.

"Yes, Rick told me what you said last night. What do you propose we do about reinforcing them?"

"Two layers of wire, chicken wire would work better since there aren't large gaps like the fencing you have. Support posts doubled up as well, putting one between each of the ones you have now to leave less weak points in the fences for them to push over. Same with any wood fences."

"That's a lot of work," Hershel commented, leaning forward with his hands folded on the table. Blair mimicked his actions, looking to older man dead in the eye.

"That's life or death."

Rick looked between the two of them, choosing not to speak up just yet. Hershel hadn't disagreed with her, so he must see the merit in her words, but he was also correct with it being a lot of work. He had a lot of property, which meant a lot of fencing and they didn't even have the materials for it.

"Does your base have fencing?"

"Two rows of chain-link, both doubled so that makes four total layers of chain-link. Mind you, that's around the main property. Anywhere that's less frequented is only two layers. We also live on the Smoke Jumper's base, at the top of a small mountain. All along the forest surrounding the base we've deliberately collapsed trees to create a nature barricade. The fences are for anything that could get through. When I left they were also in the processes of trying to think up a type of alarm system, cords that trigger a bell for example, that would warn of walkers or otherwise passing a certain point."

Rick leaned back in his chair with a long, overwhelmed sigh. He'd taken her words seriously the night before, but now he fully knew she was aware of what she was implying. "You guys did all of that?"

"We lost people early on—most people were off base when it happened, so some that had been there didn't make it. We were on a job, putting out a forest fire, when the main outbreak began. By the time we got back to the base most people had taken off to be with their family, some had gotten infected and went to the base in hopes of the field medic being able to help them. It was still new, no one knew what would happen and it spread quickly. When we got there, most of the rookies in training were dead. Whoever was still alive had locked themselves in the medical station until we could get them out."

"Rick says there are eight of you now?"

"Aye, twelve of us returned from the Jump, but more were lost before we were able to get our footing in all of this. Unfortunately, it was always because of someone being stupid and reckless. It could have been avoided. Now, we take no chances. If you're not with another person, you've got a dog with you. They're trained to scent walkers, they know when one's close and warn someone before it's too late."

Just like Rick had, Hershel leaned back in his hair. Blair was the only one who remained against the table, arms crossed over the hard wooden surface as she looked between them. Hershel was thinking over what she's said, but Rick just seemed to be contemplating her, his eyes training on her neck where he could see the silver chain for her dog-tags still hanging.

"Believe me, lads; the last thing you want is to make a mistake, and live with the regret of it. I still do. Some of those we lost were close friends of mine, and if I had gone with them to help with the fencing, or on supply runs, they might still be alive. Don't use excuses of the labour or the difficulty—that's not what you'll live in regret for when the time comes to burn of bury someone you love."


	6. A Change in Pace

Blair sat next to Carl during the morning meal, finding herself smiling in amusement as the kid raved on and on about Titan and how awesome he was. She knew that the boy was going to miss Titan when they left, but she couldn't very well let him stay behind. She could only imagine the 'Mom, dad, can we get a dog?' that was going to come from either Carl or Sophia. It almost made her want to apologize to the adults in advance.

"We were actually going to head to Fort Benning," Lori started up after Carl had gotten suitably distracted and averted his attention away from the Scottish woman.

"That's long gone," Blair blurted out before she could bite her tongue, surprised from Lori's sudden declaration causing her to lose control of her speech for a moment. The group around the table went quiet at her words, making her feel uncomfortable and shift in her seat.

"What do you mean 'gone'?" Shane demanded as he put down his fork to allow his full attention on her.

"Exactly that," Blair answered regretfully. "It wasn't just over run, it was destroyed. Men went nearly insane trying to kill the biters and ended up blowing up half of the main building. Citizens took down sections of the fence pretty early on in a mad panic to find safety. Just about any known military base was swarmed with panicking people during the outbreak—unfortunately, many were infected and it spread like the plague throughout the bases."

"How are you so sure?"

Blair was quiet a moment, finding anger sparking in her chest. She shouldn't have to justify her answer just because someone didn't believe her—either they take her work as truth or they could very well go and check for themselves. However, she didn't want them trying to go to Fort Benning.

"My crew's plane had to fly over the Fort on our way back from our last jump. We missed most of the panic while we were in the fire, so we found out about everything rather abruptly. The main building was smoking, the yards were littered with people—alive, dead and undead. It was overrun and burning."

Shane slammed his fist down beside his plate in anger, making some of the people present jump. Blair just held his vengeful glare. "You didn't think to help anyone there?" he demanded, his voice booming in the room.

She kept her tone calm and low when she answered, the raised voice beginning to cause the hairs on her neck to stand on end, much like when Titan's hackles rise at a threat. "There were only me and eleven other people on that plane; what would you have us do? All we had on us at the time were provisions from our jump, maybe a couple of chainsaws that still had power, but that's it. We didn't even know what the hell was happening. Had we landed and tried to help, I wouldn't be sitting here."

"And neither would my daughter," Carol added on, glaring over at Shane in undisguised annoyance.

"I guess that means we ain't going there," T-Dog muttered from beside Glenn, rubbing a hand over his shaved head exhaustedly. "So much for Plan B."

"What was Plan A?" Blair asked curiously, glancing over to the black man.

"We went to the CDC," he answered immediately, but the dark expression that he wore plainly told her that something had gone terribly wrong while they'd been there. "There was only one scientist left and he'd totally gone off the rails. Locked us in and tried to blow us up with the building."

"To stop the spread of any diseases, I'm guessing," Blair commented dryly, lifting a hand to massage one of her temples. She'd known about the bases early on, but the base nurse that was with them still held hope for people searching for a cure. Glancing up at that moment, Blair could spot a familiar dark nose peeking over the table beside Carol, who had yet to notice it, and realize that some scrambled egg was still on her plate.

Titan assumed he was being quite stealthy as his tongue peeked out just slightly from his jowls, attempting to reach for the eggs.

"Titan," Blair called in a warning tone, watching the sneaky tongue freeze before his snout disappeared from over the table ledge. Sophia and Carl were immediately giggling. Everyone watched discretely where Titan had been, since Blair had yet to look away from there, and not a minute later the dog's nose poked over the edge again. "Eh, you had your breakfast!" Blair scolded loudly. Instead of just ducking his head down, Titan lifted higher to give her large, begging eyes.

"Aw," Sophia cooed at the sight.

"No, he'd gotten enough treats. He'll turn into a menace if he gets anymore," Blair denied, making a 'ch' sound through her teeth that had the Collie lying down on the ground with a grunt of disappointment, upset that his plan had been foiled.

"Now I know why so many people rave about having a dog," Andrea commented as she glanced over the table to where Titan was still lying, looking as though he had already forgotten about the eggs on the table. Blair, on the other hand, knew better and continued to keep track of where the pup was at all times. She didn't want to ruin Hershel's kind actions of allowing him in the house by letting him steal food off of plates.

The sun was just as bright as the day before, but the day lacked the same warmth as the one prior. There was no humidity in the air and most of the people on the Greene farm were wearing long sleeves or jackets to keep the chill from their skin. Sophia was sitting on the porch with some of Beth's older clothes keeping her warm, her eyes trained on where Blair was standing with her mother, the two women speaking in quiet tones. Carol looked on the verge of tears and Blair was keeping her head ducked down as she spoke with the woman in soothing words. Carol had hoped to keep the Scottish woman around longer, if only to repay her for the selfless act that she had done, but Blair could not stay another day.

"You don't have to thank my anymore, Carol. All I wanted was to return Sophia to her mother, there was no motive behind it. I'm just happy she's safe and sound with her family again."

"As a mother, I can never do enough after you saved my child." Blair then found herself wrapped in the smaller woman's arms, startling her a moment before she returned the embrace loosely. Of course, this was all that Sophia needed to see before she was running over as well, shouting for them.  _Mummy! Miss. Blair!_

Soon, there was another set of arms wrapped around Blair's thighs and she honestly wasn't sure what to do. She could see Lori standing with the others, a grin on her face, as she watched the interaction between the three of them. Blair really must have been away from children most of her life, because the woman was glancing between mother and daughter with a baffled look on her features.

"I…I really should be on my way," she stuttered out, her cheeks warming as the embrace continued.

Carol pulled away first, looking teary eyes as she glanced down at here Sophia's face was pressed into Blair's side, looking reddened with her own tears of upset. "Sophia, we need to let her go. She's got her own family to see."

"Okay," Sophia agreed reluctantly, pulling away from Blair. The sadness that seemed to waft off of the younger girl broke Blair's heart, so she knelt down in the dirt—uncaring of her pants getting dirt on the knees—and gently took Sophia's face in her roughened hands.

"It was amazing to meet you, Sophia. You are a very brave little girl and I hope that we meet again real soon, yea?" Wiping Sophia's tears away with her thumbs, she was relieved to see the faint smile that perked up the corners of the girl's lips. "Be good for your ma, no more running off."

"I promise," Sophia answered, holding out her pinkie. Blair smiled at the act and looped her considerably larger digit around Sophia's, sealing their promise. Rising back to her full height, the woman rested her hand on the child's head for a moment before Carol guided her back over to the porch while Blair moved to where Rick was standing with her bag. Her machete's already strapped to her back.

Titan's tail began to thump on the ground as he watched her approach them, but didn't move to get up since she didn't signal that it was time to go. "Thank you for bringing her back," Rick stated as soon as she was close enough. "It's sad to say that I don't think many others would have."

"I'd have to say the same," Blair agreed with a sad nod, taking her offered bag from the man. It was heavier than when she's arrived—they'd given her some supplies, insisting that she take them even though she assured that she could find her own. "Make sure Hershel does something about those fences."

"I will," Rick answered, glancing back to where Hershel was standing with his family on the porch. Blair did the same, looking over each member of the group that she had met since arriving. Her eyes lingered on where Shane was standing close to Lori and Carl, his eyes more of a glare on her than anything else. She glared back for a moment before returning her attentions to Rick.

She could see that he was somewhat aware of what was happening before his very eyes, but he seemed to be blocking it out at the same time. "Sometimes it's those closest to us that we can trust the least," she said suddenly, causing his attentions to snap back to her immediately. Her eyes flicked over to Shane once more before she was stepping away from Rick, prepared to leave.

"Be careful, Blair," Rick said in a dazed tone, overwhelmed with her warning.

"I'm more worried about you guys," she answered ominously before lifting her hand to wave to the group on the porch, Sophia and Carl waving back excitedly while some of the others answered with just a lift of their hand. Clicking her tongue, Titan bolted up from beside Rick's feet and ran after her, his tail wagging away as he kept pace beside her.

She didn't like that feeling in her stomach as she walked away, leaving behind a group that still didn't seem to understand the dangerous world they lived in. Perhaps she could convince her brother to return here with her, even just to check on them. The more kind, strong people that survived, the better chance that mankind would have.

Rick remained standing beside the truck that Blair had arrived in, watching her form grow smaller and smaller, eventually disappearing into the treeline that surrounded most of Hershel's property. She didn't look back, but he knew she'd be thinking on leaving them behind. He didn't really know what she thought of all of them, but she had gone to speak with Hershel after Rick had left them in the dining room. He wondered what she had told the older man that had left him to solemn after she left him alone again.

"Rick," Lori called softly to her husband as she approached, concerned at the serious look that remained on his face. Blair wasn't visible anymore, gone through the trees and out of sight, but his attention was still focused on where he had last seen her. "What's wrong?"

"She doesn't think we're safe here," he answered her finally, looking away from the greenery to where his wife stood. "The fences, the location. She was telling me and Hershel what she'd recommend we do if we intend to stay on the property."

"Is that really something that we can worry about right now? We've got Randal locked in the shed!"

"What if we wait? And another herd comes through? If she's right about the weakness of the fences, we'll just be on the run again." Rick sounded exhausted, trying to take in everything at once. He felt as though everyone in the group was watching him at all times, like the weight of their responsibilities were on his shoulders. It wasn't something that he wanted, but he was afraid for everyone's safety if he left them in Shane's hands.

"You trust this woman that much?" Lori demanded, but kept her voice low so as not to carry across to the other members of the group, who were slowly resuming their daily tasks. It was only late morning and there was much to prepare. "Look at what she did to Shane!"

"Shane swung at her, Lori. Don't think that I wasn't watching," Rick snapped back at her. "She's military, for Christ sake, she wasn't going to take a hit like that. She risked her life to help Sophia and bring her back to us, detouring days off of her own responsibilities and you want to make her into the enemy?"

Lori found she couldn't argue Rick's point, since she had done much for Sophia and Carol. All of them, really. Daryl had still insisted on looking for the little girl, but now she was safe and sound at last. The night before, during dinner, he's sat next to Blair and spoke a few words with her while they ate. It had surprised everyone, but it seemed that Daryl had faith in the woman that would go out of her way to save a child she didn't know.

In return, Blair was surprisingly patient with Daryl, engaging in careful conversations with the quiet, withdrawn man.

"Lori, why don't you trust anyone anymore?" he asked suddenly. He sounded so sad, like he was in mourning for the woman that he had once been married to. There were no misconceptions about his marriage with her now, falling apart with no hopes of picking up all of the pieces. Shane was shattering them faster than Rick could put them back together.

"What?" the brunette asked in surprise, flinched back in a small recoil at his words. They weren't angry or venomous, but harsh all the same.

"Blair is a woman that you once would have respected, proud to have met and so glad to know her simply because you hope she'd do the same for Carl. And she would, you know? But you're acting like suddenly we had a fox in the henhouse. You hugged her when she got here and glared at her as she left."

Bowing her head, Lori moved to lean against the truck beside Rick. He was right. "I don't know. It's just…so much has happened, and keeps happening. And now I'm pregnant. I don't want anything else to go wrong and she just…disrupted the rhythm. Shane did strike first and she had every right to defend herself, but I'm not used to it. I guess I always thought Shane was the good guy, the cop people ran to when they were in trouble, not the man throwing punches at a war Vet."

"Shane's changed—we've all changed—but he's slipping, Lori. We need to help him, reel him back in before he does something that he'll seriously regret."

Nodding her head, Lori looked over to where Shane remained on the porch, leaning against the railing as he watched the two of them. "He thinks that the baby is his, Rick."

Glancing down at her stomach, Rick wanted to sigh. "So do I," he answered finally. Lori's head snapped back toward him so far that he expected to her bones crack, but instead she was just staring at him with those wide, deep brown eyes. "I did the math, Lori. When we were together, it was after you had your period. Which means that when you slept with Shane, _before_ your period _,_  you were ovulating."

When they'd been trying to conceive Carl, they'd researched all about when the best time to try for a baby was, learning all about a woman's cycle and when the best time for conception was revolving around her period. Rick hadn't forgotten and remembered as soon as he'd really thought about Lori's pregnancy.

Lori looked like she was going to protest, but she stopped just before the words could leave her tongue and her face went pale. The thought about the timing and how it lined up with her symptoms and suddenly her stomach rolled, making her bend at the waist to try and stop herself from vomiting. Rick was there, however, with a soothing hand on her back.

"I think it's time that the three of us sat down and had a talk," he encouraged, rubbing a soothing hand along her spine. "We've had problems for so long, Lori, I don't remember what it was like to have a peaceful, happy marriage. Maybe we could start again, in this new world when I'm not a cop and you're left to raise Carl basically by yourself, but…maybe it would be better if we didn't try."

"Why?" Lori gasped out, between deep calming breaths and supressed sobs. She had thought of it before, the day that Rick had been shot, but she never truly believed that it would happen. Maybe that was why it had been so easy to accept Shane's advances, even though there was no definitive proof that Rick was dead.

"We'll sit down and talk this over, Lori. But not now, just calm down. Go sit down, drink some water. Don't stress over it."

Lori did as she was bid, her hands shaking as she made her way back toward the house. She waved off Shane when he went to speak with her, not wanting to deal with either of the men at that moment, and disappeared inside. When Shane looked to Rick, anger in his eyes, it vanished immediately at the sight of his friend's tired and defeated look. He didn't know what they'd spoken about, but it had caused something between all of them to shift.

And then Rick's eyes drifted back toward the trees, to where Blair had walked away.

Blair kept a steady pace as she hiked through the forest, keeping parallel to the road. She still didn't trust the people she ran into out in the open, even if Rick's group seemed to be trust-worthy. Well, most of them, at least. She really hoped that he was able to work things through with Shane before it was too late for him, and for Lori. Whatever relationship she had with the man was straining his emotions with more than just Rick.

Being surrounded by the struggles left her feeling on edge. She had been able to handle war for so long, but even to that day she couldn't stand people arguing. Her skin crawled and it made her jittery to hear people shouting at one another. Most of the people at the base held a similar feeling toward raising their voice, but at the same time they knew when a fight was necessary. Thankfully, they'd all known each other long enough that fights were rare.

It felt strange to be back out in the forest, making her way home. She'd never had such a detour before and it seemed to have completely thrown her for a loop.

She'd checked her map and made sure she knew exactly where she was heading before she left that morning, her compass clipped to her pants belt with the map safely tucked in her bag. Even though her usual trip had been altered slightly, her stride was still as sure as always as she stepped over a small, broken tree.

As always, Titan trotted on after her with his tail swishing away happily, not a dead scent in the vicinity.

Glancing over her shoulder to the forest that hid the farmhouse from her, she couldn't shake the sick feeling that lingered in her stomach.


	7. Embrace the Reaper

Leaving her backpack resting on the ground, Blair stretched her arms over her head, hearing the cracks from her back and shoulders after the weight of her pack had been lifted. Titan was taking a rest as well, lying at the base of a tree as he panted heavily. A small bowl of water she had poured for him almost empty beside him, more drool than water left at this point. Glancing at her surroundings, she had yet to shake the feeling in her stomach that something was wrong. Leaving the farm as she had made her feel as though she was abandoning people that needed her, and having dedicated her life to saving people made that reality hard to handle.

"Did we do the right thing, lad?" Blair asked in a low tone as she looked down at her panting pup, who just looked back at her with doe eyes. "You just want more treats," she mumbled a moment later, watching his ears perk up at the familiar word. Shaking her head, Blair looked out in the direction that she would be heading.

The day had been quiet, no people or even walkers in the vicinity.

Somehow, that made Blair feel more on edge than if she'd had to fight her way through a small group of walkers.

"It's not right," she muttered, taking a glance back in the direction of the farm.

Back on the Greene property, the group was transferring their belongings from their outdoor campsite into Hershel's home. He'd welcomed them inside after all that they had done to help him, especially when he found out that Lori was pregnant, even going as far as to offer her his bed while he took the couch. She'd tried to refuse but Hershel was old fashioned and gentlemanly, refusing to let a pregnant woman sleep anywhere uncomfortable.

While Dale, Glenn and Andrea were trying to restart the RV, which was being difficult  _again_ , Lori, Shane and Rick had settled in the living room of Hershel's home, sitting in silence for a couple of minutes. None of them really knew what to say, where to begin or who should speak first. Lori was glancing between he husband and her lover hesitantly, but neither man were glaring or threatening toward the other.

"Shane," Rick finally started, pausing to clear his throat. "You knew that Lori and I were having problems before I was shot." Shane nodded his head slowly at the other man's words, choosing not to speak up yet. "If we had gotten a divorce…would you have pursued a relationship with her?" he asked a moment later, trying not to sound angered or as though he was placing fault one someone. He didn't want to anger Shane and end up with their discussion turning into a shouting match.

"Yes," Shane answered immediately. It was in that instant, truthful answer that all three relaxed. For once, they weren't going to beat around the bush or try to protect or blame one another. This was when everyone was going to be put in the open and sorted out.

Glancing at Lori, Rick wanted to hear what she had to say.

Lori swallowed thickly as she looked away from her husband's eyes to glance at Shane, who didn't appear that he was going to offer her any help. "I don't know how things would have been if we'd gotten a divorce. One of the things that pushed me toward Shane was thinking you were dead, that I was alone and that Carl no longer had a father. But…even if it was only for a short while…Shane made me feel happy again. Like when we were first dating, Rick. And when you came back I was so confused, and I didn't know what to do. I tried to bury it but I just…"

"I understand, Lori. I can't make you happy anymore. I knew that even before I was shot—we just aren't the couple we were in the beginning. I'm just tired of the tension, the lies."

"I'm sorry, Rick," Shane stated bluntly, bowing his head and refusing to look at either of the people in the room. "I've always had a thing for you, Lori, and when you and Rick got together I thought it would just go away, but-" he cut himself off, clenching his hands. "I honestly thought you were gone, Rick. It wasn't that I took that chance to take Lori away from you—she was mourning and I wanted to be there as a friend but things just…got out of control."

"We're all adults here," Rick sighed, wiping at his face as he tried to quell the betrayed feeling in his chest. "I'm not going to go off on you about stealing my girl, Shane. I was in that hospital so long, I'd think I was dead, too."

Lori was fidgeting in her seat, her stomach unsettled with nerves and hormones as she tried to keep calm during the discussion. She'd been relieved to hear Rick propose that they all sit down and finally talk about their problems, but now that it was happening she was scared something would go wrong. She was scared that the wrong thing would be said.

"I want to be with Shane," she bluntly stated, even though her voice was weak and quiet. Both men heard it clearly, though, and turned to look at her. "I…I don't want to hurt you, Rick, and I can't keep pretending like everything's okay. I do still love you, in a way I always will, but…not as my husband." Looking up to him with tears glistening in her eyes, she smiled sadly. "I don't want us to fight anymore, or to feel threatened by the people around us. I love Shane, and if we're all right then I'm going to be starting a family with him."

Shane's eyes widened at the news of this, at learning that both Rick and Lori assumed the baby was his as well. He'd had an instinctual urge to protect Lori and her baby from Rick, thinking that the man was going to try and take them away, but if Rick wasn't going to do that…

"You're sure it's mine?" he asked them in a quiet tone, gentle and…timid. Lori turned her attention to him then, her smile a bit less sad as she nodded her head. Shane's eyes flicked up to Rick, the man's expression solemn and accepting. "Rick, I-"

"It's alright, Shane. We can't fix this like it would have been done in the past, through courts and counselors, but it's like I said; we're all adults here. I know that Lori and I were drifting apart, we were, and if she is happy with you then I can accept that. I just don't want Carl to get stuck in the middle of our fights anymore."

Reaching over Lori's shoulders, Shane grasped Rick's shoulder in a sure grip for the first time since Carl had been shot. "Carl is your son, and as much as I love the boy, I would never take his dad from him."

The strain of the conversation finally seemed to catch up with Lori as she started to cry between the two men, her hands moving to cover her face and muffle the sounds of her sobs. It wasn't painful cries or sorrowful sobs, she was crying with relief. Her shoulders shook as she hunched forward, thinking of her son and her unborn baby—both would have a father, a family, and they would be as happy as they could make them in this new world.

Rick held Shane's eyes, nodding his head to Lori silently in a nudge for the man to be there for her. "You two have my blessing," Rick offered, his tongue feeling thick in his mouth. It only seemed to make Lori cry harder, but she reached over and grasped Rick's hand, clutching at it as though she was afraid this was actually happening. Shane's arm was around her shoulders, whispering soothing words against her hair as Lori took in deep gulps of air.

"Thank you," she gasped out, taking Shane's hand in her free one before she looked from one man to the other. "Thank you both."

When she released Rick's hand, she was left to watch as he carefully pried his wedding ring off of his finger. Lori's lip trembled at the sight. It was the first time she had ever seen him without it on. There was a pale line on his finger, left from years of sunlight tanning his hands around the gold band. "I think we should give these to Carl," Rick explained, waiting until she was looking him in the eye. "So he'll know that we do still love him, and we'll always be his parents, but a heart's desires can change."

Lori held his bright blue gaze a moment before she reached up to her neck and lifted the silver chain there, removing it from around her neck. The locket upon it was joined with her wedding ring, the necklace she had removed whenever she had been intimate with Shane. She realized now that she had been preserving Rick's memory as her husband. At the time, she hadn't known she was having an affair.

Instead of removing the ring, however, she freed the locket and took Rick's wedding ring from his hand to slide it down alongside hers, joining them on the chain.

Silently, she handed it back to Rick, chain and all.

One marriage was ending, but a heart's desires could always change.

In the moment, the porch door opened and Carl rushed inside, his cheeks and nose reddened from running around in the cold, a smile on his face. "Mom, dad!" he shouted in excitement, before he spotted the tears on his mom's face and the solemn expression his father and Shane both wore. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" he asked instantly, his face paling as he tried to think of what could cause his mother to try.

"I'll go check on Randall," Shane proposed as he stood up, a sturdy hand anchored on Lori's shoulder, before he left the parents to explain to their son that things had just changed.

Stepping outside helped to clear his mind, the cool, crisp air filling his lungs. Having spoken with Rick, cleared up the hate between them, made him feel lighter. He wasn't angry anymore, not as he had been since Rick had joined the group. He didn't want to lash out at him anymore—he wasn't a threat to his love for Lori, or his unborn baby.

Smiling, Shane felt a hope swell in his chest that he and Rick could possibly salvage their friendship as well.

Walking off the porch, Shane could see that the RV had been fixed up and was making its way along the dirt drive toward the house. T-Dog and Carol had been packing up the campsite and stacked their supplies into the back of the blue pickup truck, allowing them to drive everything back to the house in one go. Even Daryl was helping out, Sophia trailing behind him like a happy shadow.

Letting his feet carry him toward the shed, the camp felt peaceful for the first time in a while.

"Shane!"

Halting in his stride, Shane turned toward the house again as Carl came rocketing out the door. He didn't look like he'd been crying, maybe a bit overwhelmed but the news had apparently been taken well. "Hey, bud," he greeted, hoping that the familiar nickname would help Carl feel that things hadn't changed too much.

"Is it true? You and mom are having a baby?" Carl asked as soon as he'd reach Shane, who crouched down so they were on a similar level.

Shane nodded his head, trying not to reach out for Carl just yet. "Yea, bud, we are. You mom and I-"

"Are you like a step-dad to me now?" Carl interrupted, his face scrunching up as he tried to think about how to think of the older man. Shane laughed at the term, never really believing that he would be anything of the sort to Carl. Before the world had gone to hell, he'd never thought he'd been with Lori because he knew Rick wasn't the kind of man to give up on his wife without trying—having thought he was dead changed a lot of what would have happened.

"Yea, I guess. But you just keep calling me Shane, a'right? Less confusing," he urged calmly, getting a hesitant nod from the boy. "Nothing's going to change, Carl. Your mom is still your mom, your dad is still your dad. They're just not…married anymore."

"They said they still love each other, but not like when they first got married."

"They'll always love each other in their own way, but things can change as you get older. You mom and dad just don't feel the same way; even though they're not a couple, though, nothing's going to change for you. Think of it as…getting an even bigger family."

"So does that mean I might end up with a new stepmom?" Carl asked curiously.

The innocent question drew Shane to a pause. Rick finding someone else? It was entirely possible, since they knew that other people had survived the outbreak. He wasn't sure how that would happen or change things, but everyone deserved to be happy. If Lori no longer provided that for him, then Rick could very well expand his attentions to someone else.

For some reason, the memory of Rick and Blair saying goodbye flashing across his mind, but she was gone and Rick hadn't shown any particular interest in the woman—at least, not that he had seen.

"Yea, maybe. That all depends on your dad, though. Would you be against having a stepmom?" he asked curiously, wondering if Carl would accept both of his parents moving on.

"Well…mom would have you, but dad would be alone. Dad deserves to have someone, too, right? As long as she makes him happy and she's nice, I…I think I would like a bigger family."

The answer made Shane smile, relieved that he was actually able to so do. Shane had gotten the woman he loved, 'stealing' her from his best friend, so he would agree that Rick deserved someone, too. "I agree, bud."

The porch door opened then, Rick and Lori stepping out with calm, though hesitant, expressions on their faces. Carl turned back to them, letting Shane stand up again. The boy rushed up to his parents and wrapped an arm around each of their waists, pressing his head between them to hold them close and embrace them together one last time. "I love you guys," he mumbled, getting relieved smiles from the both of them.

"Your mom and I want you to have something," Rick started, prying Carl's hand from his hip so he could kneel down in front of him. Holding out the necklace with the rings on it, he carefully lowered it into his son's palm. "Even if we grow apart, we'll always love you—nothing will change that."

Carl smiled down at the rings, somehow so happy that they trusted him with a memento of their love for one another. That love may have diminished over the years, but when they had exchanged those rings, it had burned bright and strong. It was a symbol of the love that had created him. Draping the chain over his head, Carl tucked the rings safely beneath his shirt as he smiled up at him father.

"I'll keep them safe," he honored, watching his parents smile at him again before he was drawn into another hug.

"Rick! Shane!" T-Dog shouted, jogging toward them from the direction of the shed. "Randall's gone, man. He pulled out of the cuffs." The metal hand-cuffs were with him, covered in a layer of blood that was recent enough to still be wet.

"He can't have gotten too far," Shane started as he took the cuffs from the black man. "We might still be able to catch up with him if we leave now."

"Are you sure you want to go after him?" Lori asked as she drew Carl closer to her. "We wanted him gone and now he is."

"He knows where we are, who we are. If he gets back to his group he might bring them straight here," Rick explained, silently agreeing with Shane. "We have to find him, before he can give away out location. Shane, go get Daryl, he can track best in the woods. And Glenn, too." Shane, for once, didn't argue his friends orders and left with T-Dog to get their guns and backup. Rick turned to Lori. "Get everyone else in the house, at least until we know it's safe."

Reluctantly, Lori nodded and tugged Carl away toward the farmhouse.

Shouldering her pack once more, Blair resumed her journey home. Titan leapt up to follow her, no longer panting. They'd each had their time to rest and now they needed to return to their trek. Walking even further from the farm made Blair twitchy, but she had to hold onto the hope that the farmhouse group would last long enough for her to return with some help.

Even strengthening the fences would only do so much for them, especially when they didn't seem to understand the dangers of where they were located. Prime farm land, where larger groups were hoping so settle down—other survivors out there were a lot more dangerous than walkers. People would kill them or threaten them to take that plot of land.

Titan stilled suddenly, drawing Blair's attention over to him. He was still as ice, his hackles up with a near silent growl trembling up from his chest. Blair frowned at him, before her attention shifted to the direction he was facing. Treading carefully, she approached the treeline that she had been following in parallel.

She didn't even have to break through the foliage to see what had caused Titan's quiet aggression.

Hundreds upon hundreds of walkers were plowing their way through the open fields, heading straight toward Hershel's farm. Their numbers had massed together to the point that Blair wondered if their still classified as a herd. This was a stampede.

And they would demolish Hershel's fences like they were paper.

Backing away from the treeline silently but quickly, Blair motioned Titan back in the direction they had come.

They had to get ahead of the herd and warn the group before it was too late.


	8. Deliverance upon the Damned

Blair didn't remember the last time she had run so far, so fast. Her lungs burned like someone had lit them aflame, her cheeks reddened with exertion and wind burn. She was fairly certain that she was going to have the sorest thighs in about a day, but for the time being she was still running off of adrenaline like a mad-woman. It was hard to keep quiet while she was running desperately, but she had kept parallel to the herd of walkers, hoping to cut in front of them at some point. But there had been even more than she thought, the herd stretching further in the direction of the farm. As slow as they were, a massed number like that was not something you wanted to gain the attention of.

Titan was further to her left, opposite to the herd. She didn't want him anywhere near them if she could help it. Night was approaching quickly and she found herself swearing mentally at having gotten so far from the farm without realizing it.

Leaping over a fallen tree, Blair almost stumbled upon landing when the weight of her pack shifted on her back and threw her for a moment. Titan's claws dug into the soft forest floor when he heard her stumble, turning to look back at her before she motioned him forward, rushing to catch up. Thankfully she hadn't twisted her ankle from that; she'd never make it to the farm if she had.

Eyes darting between the forest in front of her and the sky above her, the increasing darkness only made her heart constrict in her chest. Titan's quiet warning had her stumbling to get a hold of one of her machetes, drawing it from the sheath at her right shoulder just in time for a walker to stumble out through the trees in her path. Ducking to the side, Blair swung the blade at the same time and cut clean through the walker's skull, leaving the rest of it to drop like dead weight.

Her eyes darted around to make sure it hadn't drawn the attention of others, keeping herself off of their radar.

When Titan warned her again, she didn't bother trying to kill the next walker but changed her course slightly, veering to the left to run slightly further away from the group. With the last bit of daylight, Blair unhooked the compass from her belt to check she was still heading in the right direction—difficult as it was to read while running. Altering her course a bit more to the left, Blair reattached the compass and called Titan closer to her, untrusting of the distance when there were so many strangling walkers away from the main herd.

Glancing down at the streek of black and white, clear through the night's darkness, Blair remembered that Titan had spent quite a bit of time with Rick. "Where's Rick, lad?" she gasped out, gaining the dog's attention. He was a faster running than her. "Go get Rick!" she ordered, pointing in the direction of the farm. Titan chuffed a moment before he was darting off, leaving her to race after him in attempts of keeping up.

Before long, the bright white of his fur had disappeared.

She'd had Titan with her for so long, whenever she did runs off base or even just going outside of the main building, she suddenly felt exposed. Even with a machete in one hand and another still strapped to her back, she felt powerless, without defence.

Pushing her legs that much harder, Blair's pace increased just slightly as she tightened her hold on her blade. She didn't have Titan to warn her now, so she'd have to keep extra vigilant.

Back on the farm, in one of the fields that reached the edge of the property, surrounding by forest, Rick and Shane sat on the grass as they heaved for air. Randall's dead body lay a couple of yards away—he'd tried to sneak up on Rick and steal his gun, but Shane had gotten a hold of him and was able to choke the man until he fell limp to the ground.

"You a'right?" Shane asked as he looked over to his old partner, Rick's eyes lingering on Randal's fallen form.

"I just…I was hoping we'd never have to kill the kid," Rick confessed. He'd been struggling with the reality of Randall as a threat since he'd saved the kid in the town—he knew that he was, but he didn't want to correct the problem by killing someone that they'd gone out of their way to save in the first place.

"That kid, Rick, was one of those sick fucks we used to put away. You didn't hear what Daryl got out of him—the things his group did to the women and children they came across." Rick's eyes flicked from the dead body to Shane's face, a smear of blood below his nose after Randall had elbowed him to try and get away. "Even if he never came back for  _us_ , he'd have gone after another group."

"You're right," Rick agreed weakly, rubbing at his forehead tiredly. "Come on, we should be getting back-"

"Dad!"

Both men's heads snapped up as they looked in the direction of the child's voice. Carl stood near the fence to the field, the gun that Rick had given to him in hand. "Carl," Rick started in surprise, getting to his feet quickly. "Carl, you should be back at the house with your mother!"

"I wanted to help!"

Shane stood up as well, trying to stand in between Carl and Randall's dead body. Just because there was going to be things Carl would see, terrible, inhuman things, didn't mean they couldn't try to protect him from them while he was still young. The boy had already been shot; he didn't need to see Randall's dead body. "It's over now, Carl, you can put that away now," Shane coaxed, motioning down to the handgun that Carl was still holding, his finger on the trigger.

"He's right, just put the gun down," Rick continued, approaching Carl with his hand reaching out for the gun. However, Carl raised the weapon so suddenly that both men flinched back with their hands rising in defence. "Carl-"

A single gunshot rang out, the bullet passing both Rick and Shane, to imbed in Randall's head, the rasp of the walker too quiet for either of the men to notice. They stared in shock at the fallen kid's body, not even having noticed him turning. "Was he bitten?" Shane asked quickly, Rick still left to stare in shock at the body. He knew the one thing that no one else did. Jenner had only told Rick as they were running from the CDC, about the infection that they all carried.

"I-I don't-"

Swallowing thickly, Rick looked away from Randall, not dead for certain, to kneel next to his son.

"Thank you, Carl," he whispered carefully, his hand urging Carl to lower the gun. His hands were trembling just slightly as the magnitude of what he'd done registered in his young mind. Randall may have been a walker, but he still  _killed_  someone. "It's alright, you did the right thing."

"He…he was going to bite you. He'd have killed you," Carl stuttered, Rick continuing to calm him as Shane approached them quietly. "You guys weren't bitten, right?" he asked suddenly, eyes widening in fear. The two of them were out there with Randal, what if they were bitten by whatever walker had gotten to Randall?

"No, we're fine, bud," Shane assured, placing a large hand on the top of the boy's head, looking dwarfed in comparison to Shane's palm. He relaxed at the assurances, however, and Rick gave him the best encouraging nod that he could. What Jenner had told him…it was real. It was terrifyingly real.

"We should be getting back," Rick said suddenly, rising to his full height. "You're mom's probably worr-"

He never got to finish the sentence before a streak of white and black flew at him, grabbing his pant leg between strong jaws and tugging. All three jumped in fright at the fast, sudden animal. Titan was clinging to Rick's jeans as he issued a rumbling growl that merged into a whimper. "Jesus Christ, man," Shane swore, flinching back instinctively. Titan didn't even look at him, his eyes only on Rick. His owner had told him to go for Rick.

"What are you doing here?" Rick asked the mutt curiously, kneeling down. Titan backed away when he held his hands out for him, hunkering low and staring off past them, in the direction he had come from. The softest of whines shook his vocal cords. Rick and Shane frowned in confusion, but Carl perked up at the sound.

"Blair said that's what he does when he'd warning her from walkers!" he announced, pleased at knowing something that the adults didn't. However, the new information dawned on them a moment later and they glanced in the direction he was looking. Emerging from the forest, the blurred, shadowed forms of dozens upon dozens of walkers were slowly piling out of the foliage.

Rick felt the blood drain from his face, staring at the growing numbers of dead, before he took a strong hold of Carl's jacket and pulled the boy with almost enough force to throw him off his feet. Together, he and Shane stepped in between Carl and the walkers, ushering the boy in the direction of the farmhouse. Titan looked torn, glancing back in the direction of the forest, where Blair must still be, and the group she had sent him after.

"Titan, come!" Rick ordered at last, drawing the Collie to chase them.

Less than a mile out, Blair had been forced to turn off course when the outpouring of walkers had begun to spread, no longer following in just one mass herd through the trees. She wasn't even sure how far off she'd gotten, but she tried to right herself whenever there was a clearing in the clusters of dead. Her machete was tucked back in the sheath against her back—she didn't have the time to kill every walker that crossed her path—and her pack's strap tightened as close to her back as they would allow.

She felt like she was back in the Smoke Jumpers, but instead of racing through lethal flames to try and cut off the head, she was weaving through the corpses that had once been people—all of which wanted her as a meal. It was instinctual to veer away from the danger, letting her fall back on her instincts from all of the work she had done to train and perfect herself, to never let her life be claimed when she could have been better. She was sure her legs weren't gunna work properly for a couple of days, but she'd respect the burn that came with every life or death workout.

Leaping over a fallen tree, Blair's boots nearly skid out from beneath her when a walker rounded into her path upon hitting the ground again. She barely dodged a desperate, gnarled hand that reached out for her.

This would have been much easier if it had been daylight.

The only bonus to having to run through the night was that it was cooler out, meaning she wasn't left to feel like she was roasting inside her jacket.

Finally, she broke through the distant treeline to the farm's fields. Walkers had already overrun it and she could hear the sharp crack of guns going off, their echoes ricocheting off the trees and making it impossible for her to pinpoint where it was coming from. She couldn't differentiate between walkers and people, just masses of bodies swarmed around the barn or the house. Ducking low, she tried not to draw too much attention to herself, but the walkers turned toward her anyway—she was too quick and smelled too good to them in order to really blend in.

Crouching to draw her knife from her boot, one of the weapons she always preferred to stay hidden and tucker away from people to take off of her person. The next walker that stumbled at her, close enough to reach, she sliced the sharp blade of the knife from the waist of their torn pants to their protruding collarbone. Immediately, frail skin split open as blood and organs fell forth, drenching Blair from the waist down in cold, black blood. Kneeling and letting the body fall forward over her back shoulders, she cringed at the putrid smell that swarmed her senses.

Letting more blood drain across her torso, she was certain her smell was sufficiently masked when it only made her want to puke by the absolute stench that wafted off of her.

Dropping the slit open corpse, the Scot continued through the field at a jog. The walkers glanced at her because of how fast she was moving, but they weren't as interested because of the lack of smell to follow. Their main sense was scent, the rest followed that.

Making her way toward the house, she half hoped that it was deserted of living and dead.

Pulling her machete back out, her leather gloves she had been wearing to protect her hands allowing her to grip the slick, blood covered blade. Hacking through any of the walkers that were in her way, recognizing her as food or not, she hopped the remainder of one of the fences to get to the main yard surrounding the house.

And ran straight into Andrea.

The blonde released a blood curdling scream that had Blair flinching before she lunged forward to slap a bloody hand over her mouth, silencing the sound. "You'll bring the entire property down on us!" she hissed into her face, dark blue eyes keep on Andrea's pale ones. The dumbstruck blonde nodded her head slowly, taking in the gore that covered Blair from hair to boot.

"What happen to you?" she demanded a moment later, this time keeping her voice in a whisper.

"Camouflage," she answered calmly, looking around as she did so. "Where're the vehicles?"

"The others left, I got knocked down by a walker. I guess they assumed I was bitten."

There was a pain evident in Andrea's voice—even if she knew that they wouldn't have left her for no reason, it was hurtful to realize that they didn't even slow enough to check. "Where would they go?" Blair asked, remaining close to Andrea so the smell of the blood on her would hopefully deter them from the blonde in front of her as well.

"The traffic jam," she answered confidently.

Reaching up to tug her second machete free from her back, Blair spun the blade before she offered the handle to Andrea. "Then that's where we're headed. Stay close, keep calm, and do not let me lose sight of you. I've gotta find Rick and make sure he has my dog," she grumbled out. She had half hoped that Titan would be visible on the property, standing out with those bright white patches in his fur, but she couldn't see any signs of him.

That better mean he's with Rick and not dead or she'd be coming back to that farm to deliver a massacre upon the damned.

Andrea did as she was ordered, surprising Blair slightly. She didn't take the girl to be a follower, but in the face of death it seemed she would do as she was told. Sticking close to Blair's left, clear of her right handed swing with the machete, the women tried to make for the woods first. They could divert their path around the property if they had to, but the forest would provide the ultimate cover they needed.

Blair could remember the direction that the traffic snarl was in on the map compared to the Greene farm, so she was in the lead with Andrea trailing. Cutting through the property was slow moving, the two women forced to leave a wide birth from the burning barn, the structure nothing more than skeletal bones alight with fire. The light danced in Blair's dark eyes, a haunted look merging with the dancing flames as she thought back to her final jump before the world went to shit.

To the horrors in which they were returned.

In front of the barn, a swarm of walkers were tearing into the bodies of two fallen members. Andrea gasped from behind Blair, nearly running into the woman when she stopped to try and take a better look. However, she couldn't distinguish who it was from their distance and there wasn't much left to identify anyway—there was nothing but red blood, strings of meat ripped off bone and the odd flash of skin that was bright red with the same blood that covered the entire area.

"Move," Blair ordered, shoving Andrea's shoulder before following suit.

Her heart hung heavy in her chest. She hadn't been able to save them all.

She didn't blame Andrea for the anguish that masked her face, or the tears that fell. She didn't know who it was that had died, not yet, but anyone that it could be, she had known. They were her friends. Whether it was Lori, or Beth, or even Shane, they had been her friend and she never wished for any of them to die in such a way.

"We'll burn a candle for them later," Blair gave a soft assurance once they were far enough away from the main herd of walkers.

Andrea said nothing in return—it wasn't needed. They just pushed forward, cutting down corpses that crossed their paths. Somehow, Blair felt an ache in her chest that—in only short hours—she might be mourning much the same over Titan. Sure, he was a dog to most people but he was one of her closest companions. She's grown so attached to that dog it was almost sad to some people. At least…to those who didn't understand.

She didn't know if he got to Rick or not, but if he did then she only hoped the man had kept him safe when she couldn't.


	9. Counting Tombstones

"Are you sure you know where you're going?" Andrea gasped out from a couple of yards behind Blair, leaving the woman to repress the urge to roll her eyes. She'd been asking her that for the past half an hour—just because they hadn't actually reached the highway yet. Andrea was only thinking about getting their in a car, a short trip that took no work. Walking there was clearly a lot more physical labour than she'd been expecting.

"Lass, no offence, but I'm gunna hit you if you don't stop complaining," Blair finally snapped back at her, watching her flinch in surprise before she looked away sheepishly. Andrea was someone who never wanted people to believe she was weak, yet here she was complaining more than a child on a road trip. "I have spent several summers manoeuvring burning forests, I think a dark one is something I can handle."

"You were actually a Smoke Jumper? I thought you were in the military?" Andrea huffed out, her hand clamped on her side as she tried to alleviate a cramp that had steadily been building through the night. The two had been forced to go around the farm property, giving it a wide birth to avoid the walkers that were beginning to scatter at the lack of a meal or noise to draw them. The barn had collapsed and the flames were dying—they didn't have any interest in that anymore.

Blair was quiet for a bit, thinking about how to answer Andrea without the woman thinking she was lying about something.

"I was honorably discharged," Blair confessed at last. "I was injured in action so I was sent home to recover—when I'd healed, I followed my brother into the Smoke Jumpers while deciding whether or not I'd go back. I was actually thinking of jumping back into the fray before all of this happened." Glancing back at the woman, Andrea seemed to be looking at her with a mix of surprise and distrust.

"Injured how?" she snapped finally. All this time, she'd assumed that Blair had been in the military right up to the end of their civilization. However, she suddenly wanted to bite her words back in because the look that Blair turned back at her over her shoulder almost froze her blood. Even without that look turned her way, she realized belatedly that it was most likely the rudest thing she could have asked someone—especially when someone was  _honorably_  discharged. "I'm sorry," she mumbled a moment after, glancing to the ground as Blair continued on silently.

Looking at her through the distant dawn light, barely a whisper of luminescence, Andrea couldn't locate any areas that showed she had been injured badly. She didn't limp, her arms were strong and lacked major scars, she didn't avoid leaning a certain way. Looking at her as she was, she couldn't locate whatever wound was the reason she had been discharged.

Andrea turned her attention away from Blair, glancing ahead of her to where the woman was leading them.

"You said your brother was in the military as well?" Andrea called up to her after a minute, not wanting to keep the woman angry at her—she was her only guide through the woods after all.

"Yea, the arse always rubbed it in my face that I never got to Master Sargent," Blair called back, getting a snort from Andrea as she tried not to laugh at the thickness of Blair's accent and the fact that she had actually called her brother an  _arse_. She tried to keep close to Blair, but it was rather amazing how the woman was able to trudge around the forest, over hills without much trouble. Although, she was both physically prepared and loaded with the proper gear.

Her boots had pretty long teeth, digging into the loose dirt and preventing her from sliding like Andrea was behind her. However, she also never moved to abandon her, keeping her pace slow and waiting whenever Andrea fell a bit behind her. From where she was, she found herself watching whenever Blair had to propel herself up a hill, the muscles in her legs shifting beneath the pants she was wearing. The woman was…something to fear. But she was also someone to follow because she herself didn't seem to fear.

"I'm sorry about what I said," Andrea found herself blurting out, pausing a moment to try and catch her breath as soon as they reached the top of a steep incline. "I…I have a problem with blurting things out before thinking."

Blair gave a weak chuckle as she stopped as well, taking a deep breath of the cool air. "I can understand that," she assured, resting her hands on her hips and tipping her head back so she could look at the deep blue sky. Dawn was approaching, morphing the black, star-littered sky into a deep sapphire. "I used to be the same before I was in the military. My brother used to cuff me over the head but it took someone screaming in my face to make me really hold me tongue."

"I don't think I could ever do military," Andrea confessed.

"You never know what you're capable of until given the chance to prove yourself," Blair answered in return. "I never really thought I could be a capable Smoke Jumper until I was put through the test. It reminded me of my time in the military, it reminded me of…my family. Kind of felt like I was coming home after a vacation away…well, a vacation in a hospital bed and recovery ward."

"If this is what you're like, I can't wait to meet your brother," Andrea found herself laughing.

Blair smirked back at her. "Sorry, lass, I think he's a bit too old for you."

"That's  _not_  what I meant!"

Blair gave a boisterous laugh, motioning for Andrea to keep following her. They couldn't linger too long, they were still in the danger zone for walkers and they might get left behind if they don't find the others soon. There was a strong possibility that they'd leave them behind if they waited too long and thought they had died on the farm. They already thought Andrea was dead.

"How old is your brother, anyway?"

"You talk a lot, you know?" Blair laughed breathlessly from up ahead. "He's almost fifty."

"Sorry," she grumbled from a couple of yards back. "It's so quiet these days, it's unsettling when no one's talking, or there's no background noise. Before, there was no such thing as silence, but now's it's everywhere."

Nodding her head, Blair pulled her machete, crusted with the blood of many walkers, and cut cleanly through the skull of a walker that rounded a tree to her left. Andrea had seen this several times already, and many other walkers killed since people started coming back from the dead, but she still flinched. Watching the body that had once been a living, breathing man crumple to the ground like a puppet with cut strings...it still made her flinch.

"It gets easier," Blair assured quietly, having seen the flinch out of her peripheral vision. "You probably still think of them as people in some way, right?"

Andrea swallowed thickly as the memory of her sister, turned into one of those things, flashed across her mind. "Yea, kinda."

"That'll change," Blair answered. She didn't sound quite like she was assuring her, but more like she was offering a warning. "Come on, gotta get a move on."

Her machete was returned to the sheath on her back, a mental reminder to give it a good cleaning later tacked inside her mind. Andrea came to realize that Blair wasn't much for talking when it came to her travels, probably because she spent most of her travels either by herself or with one of the dog's from her group. Usually Titan, it would seem. So, she respected her silence and kept comments to herself. She wanted to get to the highway just as bad as the older woman, so she followed her guidance and her wishes.

The magazine in her gun was empty so she wasn't much use, leaving walkers to Blair. Thankfully, the woman didn't seem to mind. They'd gotten far enough away from the farm's property that they mostly just ran into a straggler or two. Andrea had to bite her tongue a few times when she felt the urge to ask where they were, or how far it was until the highway.

"Almost there," Blair assured suddenly, as though she could read Andrea's mental questioning. "Less than a mile on the road, so we'll be there in half the time cutting through the bush."

"Thank god. We can sit and rest. And you can find a change of clothes," she tacked on, her eyes scanning over the blood crusted clothes that Blair was still wearing. She absolutely reeked from walker blood and Andrea could see that it was even making Blair uncomfortable since she was constantly exhaling through her nose in sharp outtakes, as though hoping to chase away the stink.

Blair smirked in amusement as she looked down at herself. She was just relieved that most of what she'd worn on that trip had been on its last legs anyway; she'd most likely have thrown away the shirt she had on and her pants were torn with the stitching loosened dangerously.

"I want a shower," she confessed, waving a hand before her face to exaggerate how badly she knew she smelled.

"I think we all  _want_  a shower," Andrea agreed with a smirk in return. "You  _need_  one."

Blair gasped in mock offense, leaning away from Andrea as though she had given some deep insult to the older woman. The blonde shook her head in amusement as she looked forward again, taking in the steadily brightening forest. The sun hadn't even cusped over the horizon yet, but it was going to very soon and that gave the sky a lighter blue shade.

"We've been walking all night," she continued a minute later, the fatigue bleeding heavily into her tone.

"You'll have time to rest when we get to the highway," Blair assured. She could understand why Andrea was so tired—she definitely wasn't used to the physical exertion like Blair. Although, she could also feel the painful burn in her muscles from the amount of running and walking she had done in one day. If she hadn't run all the way back to the farm it would have been a lot easier for her to deal with, but running and then hiking was making her thighs and calves ache painfully. "You're doing pretty good for someone who didn't have a labour job."

"I feel like I'm dying."

"Yea, but you'll sleep like a rock tonight."

Andrea stayed about a step behind Blair at all times, instinctively falling into a follower role. She couldn't see much of Blair's face, maybe the odd twitch of her cheek to tell her when she was smiling or a downward shift of her brow that confirmed she was frowning. More regularly as they were walking, she could swear that Blair's brow was drawn into a frown most of the time. Andrea didn't want to voice her concerns about the woman, especially after she'd already strayed into territory that she wasn't welcome.

Of course, she wasn't far off. Blair didn't think that Andrea was as perceptive as she was, that she would take note of something like her muscle twitches from facial expressions. She was frowning, her lips thinned and her eyes narrowed, because she was in agony. It had been a long time since she'd had to run and hike in such a way—even carrying Sophia around the days before had been easier than running full sprint back to the farm along uneven terrain.

She didn't talk about the injuries of the past. There were people she worked with that had far worse and still pushed through their lives.

She might not have been able to go back to work, she had barely been certified as a Smoke Jumper. However, that was her burden to bear. No one else would know it, or experience it. Her crew knew of her injuries, but they always believed in her—no one put into question if she was capable of doing her job or not.

But this new group, these people who did not know her…they may not think the same way.

"Look," Blair said suddenly, almost causing Andrea to flinch—she had been focusing so intently on why Blair could be frowning that the simple word startled her. "The cars."

Just barely visible through the trees, scatterings of cars were visible to the two women. They were from the traffic snarl that they'd been stuck at when the first herd had blown through. "Thank God," the blonde groaned, speeding up her pace just slightly. Blair stuck close, not wanting the weaponless one to get caught unprepared. She'd have to teach Andrea some other way of defending herself.

They broke out into the highway, Blair quickly looking over what she could see for any sign of movement—whether it was from someone in the group or a walker that had wandered in amongst the cars, she wasn't sure. She wasn't about to let her guard down yet, however, so she stuck close to the blonde in front of her as she hightailed it down the pavement to the jam that had started it all. Blair was momentarily struck with the realization that something as small, as minute, as jammed cars had led to them meeting—to losing Sophia, to Carl's injury.

"I don't see anyone," Andrea rasped out, her throat dry from their trek through the woods and her final rush to get to the road.

"We might have beat them here," Blair assured, stopping to lean back against one of the cars, her face pinching momentarily in pain before she let the expression bleed away. Hunching over a second later, she let her pack slip off, hitting the road with a dulled thud from the weight of the supplies she'd been given. Pulling open the pack and quickly checking over the contents, she sighed in relief that the walker blood on the outside had not bled through the fabric. Taking out a half-full bottle of water, she tossed it to Andrea. "Drink some of that, small sips."

Andrea sighed at the sight of the clear liquid, "Thank you."

She almost choked on the water when Blair began stripping off her blood-soaked clothing. First the jacket, then her long sleeved shirt, which left her in a white undershirt that had—somehow—remained blood free. Blair only spared her a glance before pulling a tightly folded shirt out from her bag, inspecting it for blood before she draped it over the driver's mirror of the car. A second bottle of water was produced with a bandana.

"What are you doing?"

"I sent Titan to Rick because he was faster, could warn you all sooner—didn't seem to be soon enough—and if they come here and I still smell this strongly of walker blood, he might attack me."

Eyes widening, Andrea lowered the water bottle to stare at the Scottish woman in surprise.

"Really?"

"He's not just trained to warn against walkers," Blair answered calmly while wetting the bandana and turning to use the reflective glass of the window as her mirror. Slowly but surely, her white skin became visible again as she scrubbed at the water blood that had splattered onto her neck and face. Her clothing had taken the brunt of the gore, which meant her pants were still a horror scene.

"Got extra pants?" Andrea asked as she nodded her head to the red Jackson Pollock scene across her jeans.

"Yea," Blair answered, "But when you flinch to me taking off my shirt I think I should do that in private."

Teasing. She was  _teasing_  her.

"Ha-ha," Andrea mocked back. "I didn't think you'd just start stripping off your clothes like that!"

Blair tossed a coy grin over her shoulder before she resumed her cleaning, starting on the backs of her hands now. Andrea soon turned her back, letting the auburn haired woman peel off her ruined denims in exchange for the sweat pants she'd worn to bed the past couple of nights. It was a good thing she and Sophia had found the house they had, finding clothes for both of them and a place to stay that was safe and warm.

After she had changed and pulled her boots back on, Blair checked herself over for any major blood stains. Her boots had long since been coated beyond salvaging, but so long as it wasn't anywhere else she should be fine.

"You still stink," Andrea warned.

"Yea, but that's not going away until I get more than a bottle and a bandana to clean with. It's good enough for now. Not  _as_  bad, I hope."

Andrea snorted against her will, shaking her head and handed over the remainder of the water. "We'll have to find all new supplies." Silently, she marvelled at the fact that Blair was still standing in only a tank-top on her torso—Andrea was cold even in her jacket.

Just as Blair opened her mouth to answer, to invite them to follow her, a familiar barking warned her a split second before a dog launched over the hood of the car she had been using as a mirror. "Shit!" flew passed her lips as she was knocked backward, the flash of white and black alerting her to her pup before his long tongue was dragging across her face in a slimy display of affection. "Stop! Titan!"

Grabbing at his collar, she was forced to haul him to the side to get his tongue away from her face. Andrea was almost cackling as she stood in her spot, maybe a step closer when she had instinctively lunged forward, thinking the woman was in danger. Blair sat up and rubbed at the back of her neck, her head thankfully not having met the pavement, with the other keeping the mutt at bay.

"Miss. Blair!"

A small pair of arms wrapped around Blair from behind, catching her off guard as Titan finally began to calm down, but still licked at the arm she had extended out to hold his collar.

"Sophia, hello again, love," she greeted, only able to reach back at pat the child's head. Drawing up one knee, Blair used the baggy material of her pants to wipe the dog saliva off of her face, finally releasing Titan's collar. "Hun, I need to get up." There was a moment of reluctance from Sophia before she gradually detached herself from Blair's neck. The woman rose back to her feet, turning to face Sophia. As soon as she was back on her feet, Blair reached down to cup her round cheeks. "You're alright?"

"Mhm," Sophia confirmed with a nod, the movement restricted by Blair's hands.

" _Blair! Andrea!_ "

Lori and Carol were rushing toward them, the others following at a slower pace. Lori immediately went to Andrea, whispering apologies in her ear for abandoning her as Carol wrapped her arms tightly around Blair's shoulders. "When we met up with Rick and Hershel…we saw Titan and thought maybe you hadn't made it off the farm."

"I'm alright, lass, don't worry," Blair mumbled against the woman's shoulder, truly surprised at her actions. She knew that Carol was grateful for her bringing Sophia back, but the way she was holding onto her now was like a sibling had come home. It…wasn't something she was accustomed to. Outside of the group at the base, she'd never really gotten close to people. Especially women. She'd grown up with her brother and father, both military men, so she often came off as too masculine for some women to handle.

When Carol pulled away, Blair looked to Rick, who was petting Titan's head as he looked up at the man with proud eyes, as though to say 'Look! Look! I found her!'. "Tried to get back as fast as I could. I sent Titan ahead of me but when I got to the farm, it was already overrun. The only person I found was Andrea."

"Dale and Jimmy didn't make it," Andrea cut in softly. "They went down near the RV."

Hershel bowed his head at the news while Glenn paled from beside Maggie. Both groups had lost people that night and Blair suddenly felt like an intruder at a funeral.

"How did you know?" Shane asked in a rough voice. He was leaning against a nearby vehicle and his shoulders sagged tiredly—they all looked much the same. His eyes focused on Blair as she pulled her long sleeved shirt over her head, covering her chilled arms before she turned to Titan's soft whimpers.

"I went to cut through a field and there was the herd. I must have been near the tail of it if they got to the farm faster than me. I think I ripped some muscles from running," she laughed humourlessly, squatting to the ground and accepting Titan's advances this time. He didn't try to give her kisses, but he sat himself between her thighs and leaned in against her as his chin rested on her shoulder, his tail thumping on the ground.

Having him back with her, in her arms, Blair finally relaxed.


	10. Lifelong War

The group collected themselves around the cars, assessing any injuries and whispering about the losses they sustained that night. Blair gave them some time to themselves, moving out among the cars as she found a new backpack to replace her bloody one, as well as a new pair of cargo-pants that were more fit for travel than her sweat pants. She also scoured the abandoned vehicles for a jacket but she had a body shape that either left things too bulky on her thin torso or too tight on her broad shoulders.

"Damnit," she cursed low as she pulled off another jacket, the material too strained at the collar.

"Mind if I have that one?" Lori asked from behind her, drawing the Scot's eyes back with surprise. Titan hadn't made a sound at her feet so she hadn't even realized Lori had broken away from the group. Blair wordlessly held the jacket out to her. "Finding one that fits is more difficult than people think, huh?"

Blair smiled, but there was a sadness that dampened it. "My papa used to try and persuade me to become a swimmer when I was younger, before I'd started my military training. He used to say ' _you're a triangle, just like all those Olympic swimmers_.'" Lori laughed from behind Blair, finally taking in the reality that Blair did have a triangular torso—broad shoulders that led to a narrowed ribcage and a tiny waist.

"If you find something Carl's size, let me know. Rick gave up his jacket so Carl wasn't cold." Blair nodded her head in understanding as she pulled another jacket from a bag, tossing it aside without even trying to fit it on her body, the tiny collar all she needed to see.

"How are you guys doing?" she asked while closing the trunk of the vehicle, swiping her hand across the murky window to leave a clear streak in the dust, marking it as searched already.

"It's…still sinking in," Lori admitted as she followed Blair to the next car, deciding to keep her busy by helping to open up the bags that were left in the trunk. "We woke up this morning with a safe place to sleep and plans to make it through the winter. Now…we have no clue what we're going to do." Blair glanced over to the anguished mother, feeling her stomach twist.

She couldn't leave them again. "Come back with me," she proposed without a second thought.

Lori jerked in surprise, wide brown eyes finding Blair's midnight blue ones. "What?"

"Come back to the base with me. We've plenty of room. And it's much more secure than the fences on the farm. Your boy'll be safe there." Watching the woman's expression, Blair could detect her trembling lip and paling complexion without even having to concentrate. Reaching a hand out to grasp Lori's shoulder in concern, her brow drew into a frown as tears glistened in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I'm pregnant," she gasped out, hand shaking hand clapping over her mouth in horror. "I…I don't know what I'm going to do. Carl was delivered by C-Section, what if I have the same complications-"

"Lori, Lori!" Blair interrupted quickly, her voice calm but authoritative. She took Lori's shoulders in both hands, turning the smaller woman toward her. "We have a medic back at base, I can't preach for what degrees she's got or what she's done, but she's better than nothing. Hershel would be your best bet otherwise and he's only a veterinarian." Sliding her hands from her shoulders to her jaw, Blair guided the crying woman to look into her eyes, offering a faint smile. "You'll get through this, Lori. You know the chances of what could happen so you're not going in blind. We'll help, I promise."

Lori's entire body sagged to the point that she was sitting on the end of the car's bumper, Blair keeping a hold on one of her shoulders as her free hand rubbed up and down her back soothingly. "Thank you," she breathed out in a rough voice, her chilled hand clasping over Blair's.

Offering no other words, when nothing more could be said, Blair just leaned down to press her forehead to the crown of Lori's hair as she squeezed her hand in return.

They remained sitting at that car for a short while before continuing their search, Titan following them around and lying at their feet whenever they stopped somewhere. It took a couple more vehicles, but Blair soon found coats for both herself and for the kids, handing extra's to Lori for anyone that thought they might need one. A couple of the group's members had rushed off the farm with none of their things and only a sweater on their back.

"This looks like it'll fit Glenn," Lori was muttering as Blair buttoned up the coat she'd found—not the most practical, since it was more for fashion than anything, but she'd taken it over freezing. It was very warm, actually, but if it rained she was going to absorb it like a sponge.

Blair snorted at Lori's words, getting an incredulous look from the mother. "Love, I don't mean to offend, but he'll fit into Carl's coat."

Lori found herself giggling against her will, reaching over to smack Blair's arm as the woman held her hands up in silent surrender, even as her face screamed 'What, it's true!'.

"Come on, we should be getting back before they think we've been eaten."

The walk back was silent, both of their arms loaded with coats and other supplies they'd found. According to Blair, the route they had to take to the base was mostly backroads with few towns, so it was more than likely they'd spend a couple nights out in the cold. "How many sleeping bags do we have?"

"Four, I think. Why?"

"I'm good without one, the kids should have one," Blair began, closing her eyes a moment as she thought. "Think you and Rick could squeeze into one together?"

"Oh!" Lori gasped in surprise, realizing that most of the group and Blair wouldn't realize what had happened between the three adults. "Well, actually…" Blair stopped beside Lori, the women still a couple yards away from the group as Lori lowered her voice to continue. "Rick and I…we decided to separate. We'd been having trouble before the outbreak and I thought he was dead for a while and Shane and I…."

"Say no more," Blair interrupted before Lori could collect her bearings again. "It's none of my business, whatever keeps you all a working unit, I don't care. When I was with you all I could feel the hostility between Rick and Shane, so long as that's gone…you're all better off."

Nodding in agreement, Lori relaxed again. "I think Shane and I could squeeze into one, but if we're outside he'll want to be on watch anyway."

Resuming their trek up the road, they decided that they'd have to try and find a couple more blankets or sleeping bags before leaving behind all of the cars. Lori and the kids were the main concern, but Hershel was older and more susceptible to illness, T-Dog apparently was still recovering from a blood infection and Beth was still in her adolescent years, which meant she was still growing and therefore would get cold easily if she wasn't eating a lot.

"You really think things through, huh?" Lori pondered aloud, getting only a shrug from Blair. She could imagine that the soldier in her heard that quite a bit.

"Hey, we were about to send a search party for you two," Carol greeted when the returned to the others, Sophia wrapped in her mother's arms.

"We come baring coats," Blair announced, dropping the collection of materials onto the hood of a car. Lori handed out the ones to the kids first, letting Rick reclaim his coat from their son, while Blair showed the adults what they'd found that might fit them as well. Glenn immediately snagged one, wrapping himself happily in the material—the wind had been cutting right though his thin sweater sleeves.

"We were trying to think on a direction to go," Shane filled them in as he accepted a scarf that Lori had found, another handed to Rick.

"North-East from here," Blair answered before anyone else could continue. Everyone looked to where she was crouching before her bag, pulling out her map and compass. "That's if you all plan on joining me."

Shane looked skeptical, probably still holding a grudge against her from what happened on the porch. "Please," Lori started quickly as she took hold of his arm. "They have a medic there. She could help with the baby."

Beside them, Rick felt his throat tighten at their openness. Forcing himself to step away from the two, he approached Blair as she spread her map out on the hood of a nearby truck, showing that it had seen its fair share of use by the worn crases through the expanse of blue, green and pink.

"We have plenty of room for you guys and you can leave whenever you want, we're not a prison. At the very least it's somewhere to restock and collect yourselves. If we are going to go, it's a day's drive—we have to take backgrounds to get there, all the main ones are too blocked off to even bother trying. We can only get so far with the cars, however."

"What do you mean?" Rick asked, watching as she traced her finger over the route that they could take with the vehicles.

"The base is on the side of a mountain," Blair explained, turning herself to the side so she was facing Rick as she leaned her hip against the side of the truck, flipping the map over so it showed the same map but in topographic style. "The surrounding grounds were used to train Smoke Jumpers for the terrain with only one route up there. With a bridge that's been collapsed since the outbreak."

Again, she pointed to where the bridge would have been located, showing a thin black line that confirmed it was the only road on that mountainside. "So it's hiking from there."

"Yes, sir, and it's a hell of a hike for people who haven't done it before. I know for a fact that the kids aren't going to take too well to it. It's this hike that sorts out the rejects from the Smoke Jumpers—and we've gotta do it."

"How long?" Lori asked from where she had moved to Blair's other side, staying quiet as she glanced somewhat nervously between the woman and Rick. She hadn't seen him stand that close to a woman since…since they'd dated. Glancing up at her ex-husband's face, she couldn't detect anything that would hint to him being attracted to Blair, but he was standing only  _inches_  away.

"Like I said, drive for a day, and then the hike would normally take another day but because you guys are inexperienced it'll probably take closer to two."

"Three days and we'll have beds again?" Andrea asked dreamily.

"Yep, and in maybe a week—after unsealing the trainee's quarters—you guys can have your own rooms, too." Blair grinned over to her, watching Andrea's eyes widen before a smile split across her face. "The base is technically all connected, but it's sectioned. Main building has the offices, HQ, cafeteria, all that stuff. North wing is all the supply rooms for the Jumpers, and the South wing is rooms. Senior Jumpers, like me, have specified rooms near the front of the building so we blocked off the rooms for the trainees."

"You only have the Senior members there?" Glenn asked curiously.

"We only had Senior Jumpers out on that last flight. The trainees, ground control, everyone at base took off for home when things went downhill. Haven't seen any of them since. We've looked, gone to their homes in the surrounding towns that were in reasonable distance but…nothing." Blair avoided looking at any of them as she began folding up the map. They could understand her not wanting to talk about it—these people were her friends, a family she had worked with and grown with. They all understood the pain of such a loss.

"It's our best option right now," Rick started, looking over to Shane. He really hoped that his friend didn't contest him on this.

"It's the  _only_  option," Maggie corrected. It made many of them turn to look at Shane, waiting for him to agree or disagree. However, he finally nodded his head without reluctance, getting a relieved sigh from Lori as she leaned into his side.

Blair glanced over at Rick. He was avoiding looking at the two of them. "Alright, if we leave now we could make it most of the way by dark. Travel at night and we can still make it to the base of the trail."

"No, travelling at night's too dangerous. The lights can attract walkers and people," Glenn denied. Blair paused before she nodded along. She'd avoided vehicles so much she'd completely forgotten about having to use headlights at night. It would draw everything that they wanted to hide from to drive with headlights on.

"Are we getting in the cars again?" Sophia asked softly as she looked up at her mum, eyes big and holding all the innocence in the world.

"Yep," Blair answered for her mother. "You remember all the people I told you about? My brother, Connor? And Dominique, the medic?" Sophia nodded her head, remembering the stories that Blair had told her as they walked, drying to keep them both distracted on their hike through the woods. "Well, you're gunna meet them real soon."

Sophia's face brightened with a glorious smile. "Really?" she demanded excitedly, her hand tightening in her mother's.

Blair returned her smile, unable to control the urge to copy the little girl's joy. "Yep. Just a few days away." Turning her attention to Titan, who was occupying his time with cleaning his paws as he lay at her feet. "Titan," she cooed, getting his attention before grinning. "Where are we going, lad? Where?"

Titan seemed to understand this as some sort of routine because the dog jolted to his feet, tail wagging excitedly, and barked loudly.

"Are we going  _home_?"

Titan barked again, spinning in a circle as he barked again. Blair laughed at his behavior and reached out for him, letting him step up close and lean against her legs. He left his side exposed, her hands rubbing at his side and belly as she continued to murmur to him quietly, her voice and accent deepening enough that the others couldn't tell what she was saying. After their brief moment, however, she straightened back up with amusement glittering in her eyes.

"Let's pack up what we can find, head out within the hour," Shane finally ordered, getting nods from the people collected around before they dispersed to find whatever food and other supplies they'd missed when they'd gone through the vehicles the first time. "You wanna run me and Rick through that route?" Shane asked Blair as he motioned to the map, sitting folded up where she'd left it.

It was the three of them left, Titan going with Lori and Carl at Blair's command, standing around the hood of the truck as Blair explained to the men the route she would normally take, and the new one they would be following. "I don't follow roads, there's where I've run into some of the worst people. But it'll take  _way_  too long for us to get back by foot."

"These roads safe?" Rick asked from her right, turning over the compass in his hands to keep them busy.

"No clue," she admitted with a sigh. "We'll have to be extra careful, take them a mile at a time."

Shane wanted to bite his tongue, to stop the words from leaving his lips, but he was blurting them out before he had the chance. "You're that scared of people?"

Blair's head snapped to the side, meeting his gaze, so suddenly that he flinched briefly. The dark blue of her eyes almost came across as black in the bright light of late morning, the colour cold and void of the amusement that had warmed them short minutes before. "Listen to me, you sheltered little shit," she started, keeping her voice low so as not to draw attention from the others—the fierceness of her tone made Rick's eyes widen as he watched her and Shane—"I have run into people that tried to take my supplies, rape me, eat my dog, or beat a base location out of me. If you want to take the chance and throw your group into that danger, feel free—but it  _won't_  be with me in the lead. I will not walk these people into any form of danger; it's not just the dead you need to worry about, anymore. The people who've survived this long are a much greater threat."

"Hey, hey, okay," Rick interrupted, not wanting Blair to continue as his old friend's face reddened more and more with her words—as much as Shane had been able to put passed him, he never took it well when scolded by a woman. Rick took Blair's arm in his hand and gently pulled her back, placing himself between her and Shane. "We'll just be extra careful, alright? We don't know this route either, Shane, and Blair's been out on runs many more times than any of us. We should trust her judgement."

Shane's jaw was tense as he gritted his teeth, before he released a harsh breath and shoved the map toward the two of them and quickly departed from the truck, making his way over to Lori and Carl. Blair and Rick watched him leave, both of them relaxing the further away he got. Blair blew a sharp, short whistle through her lips and waited for Titan to run back, knowing that Shane would take care of them instead. She didn't trust that man around her dog.

"I don't trust him as far as I can throw him," she admitted, turning Rick to face her. "I don't care what you do, but you need to reel in that man's attitude before my brother beats it out of him. You think he's gunna get away with that shit at the base?" Rick sighed loudly as he leaned against the truck, scrubbing at his face with his hands.

"I know," he rumbled. "I'll talk to him."

"You'd better." Meeting Blair's eyes, the woman was staring at him in warning. "If you don't, I will. And I'll knock out a few of his teeth in the process, I can promise you that."

Rick wouldn't admit it, but he felt the urge to do the same most of the time lately.


	11. Fine Lines

Blair had forgotten what it was like to be stuck in a car with a bunch of other people—and a dog. The only upside to having Titan in the truck was that he was right beside her, Blair behind the wheel, to act as a buffer from anyone taking that seat. She didn't drive often as it was, but she probably wouldn't have been able to do so well if she had someone crammed in directly beside her. Other than the dog, only a small child would have fit in the middle seat. She was at the lead of a train of cars, Daryl the one directly behind her on his bike. Rick was sitting in the passenger seat, absentmindedly scratching between Titan's ears as he watched the road, Carol and Sophia in the back seat with T-Dog staring out the window solemnly.

A few hours had passed since they'd first set out on the road, Blair having been volunteered by Shane and Rick to lead the way. Sitting behind the wheel and no longer able to feel her butt, she was regretting the decision to agree.

Glancing up into the rear-view mirror, she immediately switched her foot from the gas to the break, slowing the truck abruptly and causing all within to lean forward. Rick jerked next to her, having been so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn't noticed what could have caused her to stop. Turning to Blair, she was twisting her torso to look around her seat, looking through the back window.

"Why'd we stop?" T-Dog asked from behind her, his hand resting on the seat where it had shot out to catch himself.

"They stopped behind us," she answered. Daryl was a couple of yards back, having stopped probably just before Blair did, with the Jeep that Shane was driving even farther behind them. "They must have run out of gas." Turning back around just long enough to throw the gear into reverse, Blair twisted around again to keep an eye on Daryl's bike as she approached. The man himself had stepped off and was watching her approach—he signaled her to continue closer, having a better vantage than the woman in the driver's seat.

When Daryl held his hand up, Blair stopped again and flipped the vehicle into park. "So what, we're going to stay here tonight?" Carol asked meekly, glancing at the wooded area they had stopped within.

"That or figure out where to go from here," Blair answered calmly while glimpsing between the seats to meet Carol's gaze, Sophia huddled into her mother's side. "Don't worry, we'll figure it out. We knew gas would run out before we reached the mountain, so it's not too much of a surprise."

"Well, we ain't gunna decide on anything in here," T-Dog grunted, popping his door open before further discussion could be made. Blair did so next, keeping the door open long enough for Titan to jump down after her. She could hear the slamming of doors on the other side as the remaining three followed suit. Standing for the first time in hours, Blair released a long sign before she lifted her arms to crack her shoulders and back, arching her spine just a bit as Titan stretched beside her.

Standing to the side, the observing group found their actions rather amusing.

Finally, Blair motioned for Titan to go to the woods, calling a 'hurry up' that he recognized as 'go pee' without her needing to say it. Immediately, the black and white dog disappeared amongst the trees while Blair approached the gathering group in front of Shane's Jeep.

"Who's low?" she called from a couple of yards away.

"Me and Hershel," Shane answered as he leaned against the hood. "Daryl says he could maybe make it another hour; you?"

"Another hour, ninety minutes if I were to push it," was her simple response. Tucking her hands into her coat, she debated internally whether she was partial to or against the cold air. She always did like fall, even though most people preferred the warmth of late spring or summer—she probably brought it over from her time in Scotland. Everyone else was hunching against the wind, hands stuffed in their pockets or arms crossed tight against their torso. She was relaxed and standing at ease, her hip cocked just slightly to the left and her coat undone.

Apparently, Lori noticed. " _How_ are you not cold?"

Blair's white teeth flashed with her laugh as she sheepishly looked down at herself. "Scots are cold-blooded, don't you know?" she teased. It only made Lori shake her head, but a smile still turned at her lips. "So, we're nowhere near a town, but someone could take the truck up and hope to find some fuel nearby."

"It'll be dark soon," Rick pointed out immediately, his eyes following along the line of bared or colourful trees. "Might be best if we try and find somewhere to hunker down for the night."

"Where?" Maggie asked first, looking around the forest that surrounded them. "There's no houses anywhere near here, we haven't passed a building or road in a couple miles."

"It's either sleep in the trucks, all crammed together like sardines, or we camp out," Blair answered her. "Over there." Jutting her chin in the direction she was looking, the others turned to notice the faint shadow of ruins. "Building's long gone, but from the looks of it that's brick foundation. At least we'll have something of a cover for the night. Other than that, someone will be on watch."

"I'll take first watch," Daryl volunteered without further prompt.

Blair glanced over to him briefly before she nodded and turned her eyes over to Shane. "Sound good with you, lad?" she questioned, her tone almost patronizing. The muscles in his jaw jumped beneath the skin as he clenched his teeth, Adam's apple bobbed at his throat. But he didn't speak.

She took this as a good sign, but didn't prod further and only nodded her head.

"Good; I've got to go wash the rest of dead people's blood off me and if my ears speak true, there's a stream over there," she pondered, mostly just voicing her thoughts aloud as she turned in the direction Titan had headed off in, the dog sitting beside the truck now. On her way passed the vehicle, she remembered to grab her machetes. Mostly just because she dearly needed to clean them.

Titan followed after her, tail swishing from side to side.

Her brother teased her to that day that she didn't need a dog, her keen senses always took her where any dog could lead her. She reached the stream in less than a minute, a small waterfall shortly down the way. From here, she could even get a better glimpse of the ruins she had pointed out to the others. Unsheathing each machete, she cringed at the state of the blades and, therefore, the casings. She set to work cleaning the cases first, soaking them until the water ran clean, before she leant them upside down against a bolder to dry, moving on to the actual blades. Soon, those were leaning next to the black casings. Titan was beside the waterfall, trying to catch the falling water in his jaws like a playful pup.

When footsteps sounded from the direction of the road, he noticed first. It only took one glace for him to recognize Rick, but he still chuffed once to alert Blair of the approaching person. Her coat was lying next to her and she was checking her arms to any sign of walker blood, water glistening on her hands.

"Hope I'm not intruding," Rick stated in replace of a greeting.

"Not at all," she answered, motioning next to her in silent invitation. "I don't mind the company. Titan will certainly beg for your attention."

Glancing to the dog, he was already staring at him intently, tongue lolled out of his mouth as he panted. Rick took her invitation and sat down on the rocky ground beside her, Titan immediately saddling up beside him for attention. Rick began to absently pet the collie's head, watching as Blair wrung the bandana she was using, pink water returning to the once clean stream.

"What do you guys know about the dead ones?" she asked suddenly, causing Rick to jerk in surprise. "Walkers," she corrected a moment later, remembering the term they used for them.

There was a faint flutter in Rick's stomach, something unsettling that almost made him want to be sick. "What do you mean?"

Blair sat back slightly, cupping the cloth in her hands as she looked over to the man beside her. There was something in his expression, something that told her he knew more than was being let on—he knew more than he wanted the others to know.

Rick looked into her eyes, the dark blue making her eyelashes and eyebrows appear lighter than the black of her iris. They were a deeper blue than his or Carl's—he found himself unconsciously making the comparison that they had been shadowed over, years of horrific sights staining them dark. Her skin was pale, naturally, with freckles doting her nose and forehead from sun exposure—when light touched her hair, it bloomed red beneath the rays but someone glimpsing it could pass it off as light brunette.

When she spoke, her teeth were white and straight, attended to meticulously. Her lips, however, were chapped and bitten, less cared for—like they were less important.

"What happens when we die?"

Rick blinked and leaned back, the abruptness of the question drawing him to pause. There must have been something in his reaction because she tipped her head just slightly toward him, her eyes narrowing.

"You know, don't you? You're aware of all our fates."

Swallowing thickly, Rick turned is eyes away from her to stare into the stream. It was almost like he felt shame; should he have said something to the others? Would it have mattered? That was something he had battled with since he'd first been told by Jenner that all of them were infected—not just their group, but the world. They had thought that so long as they weren't bitten, they were safe, but now it turns out they would all end the same way.

With a bullet through the brain.

"I haven't told the others," Rick answered finally, Blair having kept the silence as she waited for him to compose his thoughts. "Shane knows now, after last night, but not the exact truth."

Watching him out of the corner of her eye, Blair couldn't really blame him. He'd done what he thought was best for the group. Not everyone would react well knowing they were all destined to turn at some point, unless you had someone with you that loved you enough to kill you for good. "I'll tell them," she offered softly, giving a faint smile when he looked to her in mild confusion. "They might react badly if they think you were trying to keep some big secret from them. So, I'll tell them that while we were…comparing notes, so to speak, I told you about the…disease? I dunno what to call it."

The old Sheriff huffed out a mocking laugh. "I'm starting to think that it's the only truth in this world."

"I learned a long time ago that truth is rare. Most of the time it's just telling which lie is the smallest," Blair countered dimly, turning her attention back to the river as she dipped the bandana in the stream. The movement let Rick see a couple of specks of blood on her neck, probably out of sight when she'd been checking in the car's mirror, just below her ear.

"You've got some on your neck," he warned, motioning to the side of his own neck when she glanced to him.

Wiping at the mentioned place, some of the blood wiped off but the more dried on stuff lingered after the brief scrub. Reaching out, Blair froze for a moment as her eyes fell on his outstretched hand, making for the bandana. He hesitated a moment, before carefully extracting the ruined material from her hands, lifting the cloth up to her neck again. Applying a bit more pleasure, he wiped at the red stains a couple of times to remove them.

"Thank you," she mumbled, taking back the offered bandana once he was finished.

"Sure," he replied, clearing his throat as he transferred his attention back to the dog beside him, beginning to scratch the canine behind the ear.

Blair watched him for a moment, amazed that he could show so many different characteristics at the same time. He was easily caught by certain things, overwhelmed even, and yet at the same time he took so much of his efforts and thought about others first. Blair had met many men over the years that would sooner toss them under the bus before trying to save them; Rick was a reprieve from people like that—people like Shane.

"You have a good group with you," Blair commented after a calm silence fell between them, noticing that something was putting Rick on edge. She could understand, even though she herself wasn't married, that after one's wife leaves one for the best friend, it would probably throw him off for a while. "I think that they trust you more than Shane."

"He's done many questionable things since I joined the group—apparently staking his claim as Alpha Male," he answered, his voice taking on a darker tone. Blair frowned at the harshness of his tone, but the actual words made her pause and twitch uncomfortably. She had heard that kind of tone too many times through her life and it never got any easier to hear. On someone like Rick, who'd shone her only kindness, it felt out of place.

"I will warn you right now, Rick," Blair started, keeping her tone low but clear. "I won't put up with his shit, and my brother will beat him near to death if he does something like take a swing at one of our—or your—people. He tries any of that Alpha Male crap with Connor and he'll lose a few teeth as a warning." When she saw the concern on Rick's face, she quickly elaborated. "He'd never hurt anyone without reason, he's a bit of a soft-heart for that. But with Shane…he's bad enough for me to want to hit him and I'm not the short tempered one."

Letting out a long, tired sigh, Rick fell back into his elbows with his head tipping backward. The canopy of naked tree branches stretched out above him, a few scattered dead leaves all that remained through the autumn chill. Blair watched him for a moment, knowing that he was processing her words, before she turned her attention to the stream. There was something calming about water, the soft sound that it made, or the human need to ingest it to live. Whether rain or rivers, it always seemed to bring forth peace.

"Things aren't going to be easy," she continued after a long pause of silence. "There aren't any laws anymore, and that's going to bring out the worst in a lot of people. The only thing we can do is save the good ones and hope we don't have to kill too many of the bad ones."

Immediately, Rick's head snapped up again.

"Kill people? We couldn't even…what makes you think we'll have to kill people?" She didn't miss the pause in his words, the almost admitted confession, but she let it slide without comment.

"People murdered for pleasure before the world went to shit. It was the fear of what was going to happen to them that kept them in check or they got caught. This world…it is full of fears or opportunities. Insanities will flourish and overtake what remains of mankind if we let it. There is a fine line between order and chaos and most people are already dancing too close to the line for comfort." She was still staring at the water, her dark blue eyes reflecting the rippling surface as the last light of the day danced on the steady current. Rick took that moment to look over her profile, noticing the clench of her jaw and the prominent tendons on her neck. Hearing what she was saying reminded him of her warning about staying off the roads, and why she preferred to keep in the trees.

"What's the worst you've run into?" Rick asked before he could completely think though what he was asking. She glanced back at him, gauging his expression as she thought.

Her lips thinned and her eyes narrowed, glancing just over his shoulder instead of looking him in the eye.

"I went out with Dom, our medic. She wanted to see if we could find more supplies for the infirmary and I didn't want her going alone, so I went with. We came across what was left of a camp, settled only a couple of miles away from where the nearest town was…maybe twenty people, at the most. The women were stripped bare and had been raped, men had their throats cut or shot in the head." She paused to glance back at his face, his complexion having lost all colour and his eyes blown wide with a faint tremble to his shoulders. She knew he was picturing it. "The few kids that had been with the group were tied up and drowned in the nearby stream."

Rick was the first to look away, breathing more heavily as he glared into the foliage around them. "We checked for anyone that may have survived. It was recent enough that those who died without a head-wound hadn't turned yet. We did what we could, but in the end all we were able to give them was a funeral pyre."

The only sound that followed was Titan's soft breathing as he leaned against Blair's side, having moved over to her when he saw she was no longer doing something else. Rick tried to swallow around the sudden swollen feeling in his throat, staring at his boots or the trees or the rocks. He didn't want to look at Blair—he knew that if he did he'd only end up thinking of her standing in the center of a mass of mangled bodies.

"From my years in the military, I never thought there was something that would sicken me more than what I saw then. I was wrong."

"That's why you avoid the roads," Rick commented hoarsely, the rasp of his voice causing Blair to flinch. She knew she shouldn't have said it. "You mentioned people you've run into personally."

"Those were usually small groups, looking for free weapons or food. Not that hard to stop with a headbutt or kick to the—" she stopped there, realizing that talking about kicking a man in the balls, when speaking with a man, may be a bit on the rude side. "Sorry."

Of all things to apologize for, she says sorry for that? Rick found himself laughing at the audacity of their conversation, shaking his head as his grin widened enough to hurt his cheeks. "Don't worry, I don't take offense."

Even through the dim light of approaching evening, Rick could see the change in her cheeks as she gave a faint blush of embarrassment, looking away. Titan squirmed against her, Rick's laughter having brightened his mood as his fluffy tail swishing the dried leaves and dirt around beside her. Blair couldn't stop herself from smiling as she reached down to scratch at his neck and ears.

"We should head back, iron out any other plans before dark," he finally proposed, seeing her blades were clean and she didn't appear to have any other blood stains on her person.

Nodding her agreement, Blair motioned for Titan to move back from her. "You're right. I'll tell the group tonight." Rising to her full, imposing height, Blair slung the sheaths of her machetes over her shoulder, knowing they weren't dry yet, and carried the blades in her hands. The last thing she needed was rusted blades that needed to be replaced.

Rick watched her with doubtful eyes. "So soon after what happened?"

"If I wait they might think I was trying to hide something. I don't want to give anyone ammunition for mistrust on my part. They're already putting a lot of faith in someone they don't know." Nodding his head, Rick could understand her reasoning. "You don't have to worry. I've seen others react to the news; some react to it like having terminal cancer, others aren't too phased about it at all. I think your group has enough to live for that they won't suddenly give up on life or think that it's not worth living."

He had no reason to doubt her, and she'd apparently had to break the news before. He only hoped that her expectations were right.


	12. A Little Pain Never Hurt Anyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry that I disappeared.

Rick was relieved that it had been Blair to tell the group about the infection, and how they all shared it. Of course, Shane tried to make more of a big deal about the entire thing, but all she did was tell him to shut up, sit down and stay quiet until he had something smart to say. Lori looked like she wanted to come to Shane's defense, but at the same time his initial outburst of 'you lying bitch' hadn't given Lori the best impression of him; the brunette had looked offended on Blair's behalf. The others mostly stayed quiet, letting the news sink in, as Rick stood to the side watching his young boy go pale at the thought of becoming a walker.

"As far as we know, you have to die. It won't be triggered by a flu or injury. We've found people who committed suicide or were killed by means other than a head wound and came back, but they all had a fatal injury somewhere. Or at least evidence of death, like overdosing on pills. People at the base have gotten sick since the outbreak and it passed by like any normal flu or cold. It's not like you wouldn't have been trying to avoid death already, this doesn't change that, but now you know what happens. Just because there is no bite doesn't mean someone won't come back."

"Does that mean…" Lori began, her words cutting off as her voice strained a bit. "Does that mean the baby will be infected as well?"

Blair looked over to the mother-to-be in sympathy. "More than likely, yes. Dom will keep a close eye on you and the baby; if something happens to result in a miscarriage-" she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence, but the paling of Lori's features told her that she understood where she was going with it. "We'll just have to be extra careful."

Lori placed her hand on her still flat stomach, the fear evident on her face. Carol reached over to place a comforting hand on her shoulder, giving her silent support as she clutched her daughter's hand in her free one. The sight of these family members, holding so tightly onto their loved ones, made Blair miss her group and her brother. She missed her family.

Looking down at the dog leaning against her leg, she was relieved to know that she would be home soon. She only hoped that it as soon enough that her brother hadn't left the base in a search for her. He trusted her; she knows that. He had faith in her strength and in her ability to survive, but he was still her big brother, the man that she turned to when there was no one else, and she knew that if he felt there was something wrong, nothing would stop him from coming for her.

"We should get some rest," Blair finally broke the silence that had settled over the group. "We'll have to get a move on early if we want to find more fuel and get to the mountain before nightfall tomorrow." As though he was given his dismissal, Daryl stepped away from the circle of firelight, disappearing around the edge of the brick foundation to begin the first watch. After him was going to be Shane, and then Rick had volunteered to take the final shift before dawn. Blair didn't volunteer, but she knew that she wasn't going to be sleeping much.

She doubted many would. Even if they were able to fall asleep, it would not be fitful. The air was cold and all of them felt exposed, surrounded by walls or not.

Manoeuvring herself out of everyone's way, Blair claimed herself and Titan a spot in the corner of the little structure. Hershel was with his daughters to her left, Glenn staying close to Maggie. Carol was bundled close with Sophia next to Glenn, and T-Dog was leaning against the wall to her right, making sure to give the two girls room. Lori and Shane were across from Blair, the fire between them, and Carl and Rick were to her left. Blair noticed how Rick kept Carl on his right, putting himself between Shane and his son. Daryl was the only one not in sight, having stepped out into the darkened night.

Pulling the collar of her coat up, preventing wind from getting to her exposed neck, Blair leaned her head against the wall so that it wasn't tipped backward or forward, letting her keep all group members in her sights. Titan curled up tight near her leg, sharing in her warmth as she took his in as well. His fur would keep him healthy, but she knew that the colder it got the worse it would be to keep him outside.

Having stayed up the entire night before, running around through the woods to get to the farm and then to escape it, Blair wasn't surprised by the fatigue that flooded her system. Her eyes felt dry and burned from attempting to keep them open, her muscles uncoiling a little bit more as time slowly passed. The others were in much the same boat, having been up all night as they fled the farm. But Blair's excessive exercise probably made her more tired than anyone else. Titan seemed to sense this and kept awake by her side, feeling her relax and go limp beside him.

Carol and Rick were both watching the woman discretely as her eyes closed, her head leaned back against the wall. When she finally fell asleep, it was like a puppeteer cut her strings, the tautness of her body disappeared and she drooped.

Even though she appeared to have completely gone unconscious from sheer fatigue, Rick knew that if something were to happen—a child screams, Titan growls, someone stepped on a dry twig—she was going to wake in an instant, on high alert. Even without being in the military, the threat of something sneaking up on them, exposed as they were, they were all left on the cusp of awareness as they attempted to regain some of their depleted energy.

Andrea was similarly knocked out—she and Blair were the only ones who'd had to walk from the farm to the road, everyone else able to obtain one of the vehicles and make their way in clusters to the road. Blair had run a lot more, of course, but Andrea wasn't as fit as the Scottish woman.

One by one, the remainder of the group fell asleep. Daryl remained awake and alert, just outside the opening in the stone foundation. For most of the hours he was on watch, he remained still and vigilant, but every once and a while he would pace the entrance to warm himself up again, looking in on the survivors from the farm. In the far corner, Blair was still sleeping with Titan lightly snoring beside her. In sleep, the hardened exterior seemed to melt away from her, leaving behind a thoroughly exhausted and life-beaten woman.

When he'd first seen her after Sophia had been reunited with her mother, standing beside the car with her furry dog beside her, he'd seen the unease on her face. And the fight-or-flight in her posture. He remembered when he's stood the same way she had, and when Merle had returned from the military an adopted the same stance. Nothing was to be trusted, nothing was to get past the heavy defences a soldier built around themselves. With Merle, he had lived with that armor until he got caught up in everything else. He had let the drugs and alcohol destroy the barriers he created.

When he had sat next to Blair during breakfast the previous morning, he had noticed she never relaxed. The children were laughing, she was teasing about Titan's habits, but she was as taut as the string of his crossbow the entire time. When Shane had reacted to the news about the base they had planned to go to, her already perfect posture and straightened and her hand had clenched around the fork she was holding, her other hand twitching above the knife.

These were unconscious reactions, he knew that, but it made him wonder about what had happened to her that made this woman so terrifyingly aware of everything. She was the kind of person that would immediately take note of all possible exits when entering a new area, eye all things that could be used as a weapon—both to her advantage or against her—and never let her guard down entirely.

Even as she was now, sleeping in the corner, there was no chance of someone sneaking up on her from behind, he knew she'd wake to the slightest sound, and Titan was damn near attached to her by the hip.

Daryl wondered what her brother must be like, if this was how she reacted to things. Then again, it didn't always matter if he was older and served longer. There was no control or say about who was the one getting the shit end of the stick. Blair could have lived through a far worse hell than her brother for all he knew, all any of them knew. And judging by the way she was acting…he was starting to think that was the truth of it all.

When it came time for his shift to end, Shane sluggishly pulled away from Lori as Daryl moved over to a clear space of brick wall to lean against, putting himself near Carol and Sophia, but made sure that he didn't get between them and Blair. The Scot seemed to have attached herself to the woman and her daughter—Sophia's attachment to Blair definitely bled through to the woman, whether she was aware of it or not.

Standing near the only entrance to the brick foundation, Shane could look over the resting group from his vantage, no eyes looking back at him. Blair was in the same position she'd been in when she fell asleep, though everyone else had shifted somewhat over the time he'd been asleep.

There was a spark of anger when he looked at her—a spark that surprise even him.

She had opposed him and beat him, it made the dominant part of him rear up to try to start something else with the auburn haired Scot. The part of him that remembered his time as a cop, saving people and stopping those who would do harm, wanted to praise her. Had he met her before the world had gone to shit, he'd never have reacted in such a way.

And he couldn't completely feel shame for what he did, but the emotion was there and it was annoyingly persistent. Especially when it came to how she acting with the others, and even offered them a safe place to stay now that they were all out on their own again.

Clenching his fists, Shane looked away from her to where Rick was resting with Carl, keeping the boy close. He'd noticed how he had put himself between him and the boy, as though he was a threat to Carl or something. He could understand why Rick felt the need to do so, and he couldn't deny that it stung to know his best friend no longer felt the same trust in him as he did. It wasn't even a loss of trust in regards to loving another man's wife, but feeling a threat in regards to his fatherhood and son.

A sudden shift in the corner of his eye drew Shane's attention quickly.

Blair's leg had snapped out sharply in her sleep, sending dirt and twigs skittering toward the fire as the heel of her boot drove a gouge into the dirt with considerable force. As though she was trying to kick away an invisible enemy. The movement had been made in her sleep, more than likely from her body reacting to a dream she was having, but it was enough to wake her and Titan up simultaneously. The dog bit out a low growl, not enough to wake the others but it drew Blair's disoriented mind into razor sharp focus.

It didn't take long for her eyes to lift to his, the dark blue appeared black in the dim light from the smoldering fire, pale skin taking on a golden hue.

Keeping her eyes level with his, her hand reached out to lay on Titan's head as the softest of 'shh' sounds passed her lips, barely more than a exhale of air through her teeth. Staring into the black of her eyes made the hairs on the back of Shane's neck stand up, remembering the sensation of his arm being thrust up along his back with her hand an iron shackle at his wrist.

He had no desire to repeat that embarrassing situation.

So, he relented first. Looking away from the Scot, he turned his attention over to the woods. He'd focus on his watch now.

However, movement drew his eyes back to Blair. She was getting up, rising to her surprisingly imposing height as Titan looked to her with curious eyes. Looking down at the dog for a long moment, Blair then held her hand out, palm to him, in a 'stay' gesture. His ears lowered as though chastised, but Blair was already walking around the fire and in Shane's direction. It was unnerving how quiet she was, even though her boots were clearly steel-toed and heavy, the weight of the woman herself enough to make her loud when she walked.

She was deliberately being quiet, he realized. Her steps were measured, calculated and controlled. Titan followed her with his eyes, but refused to disobey her command and instead took to lying where she had been. Taking in the warmth her body had left on the dirt.

Blair barely met his eyes before she had left through the opening, heading out into the black of night, with her machetes in hand. At least she knew enough to take something with her. He couldn't begin to try and understand why she was leaving, but the dark look in her eyes told him not to follow. If her stupidity for being alone got her eaten, then that was on her.

Unable to see through the black of the forest, Shane had no clue where she was going.

It was the small stream that she'd been at earlier that evening that drew Blair in, the soft sound of the water soothing on her chaotic nerves. She stayed silent as she fell to sit against the rocks her machete cases had leaned again, letting out a long sigh as she gently began to pull off her right boot and sock, then rolled up the hem of her new pants. The faintest of hisses passed through her teeth as her hand pressed a bit too much on the tender muscles.

The moon was large in the sky, but it wasn't enough to light what Blair knew would be there.

Her fingers gently ran along the vivid scars that marred her ankle, wrapping up around her calf a couple of inches. A surgical scar ran vertical up the back of her heel, along the tendon and toward her calf. She knew that if there had been light, her ankle would be black and blue to match with the pain that was pulsing through her entire right leg. It had been a while since the surgery, even longer since the other scars had mended, but too much movement—like running through a forest—made it apparent that her health would never be the same.

Connor was going to murder her when he saw the state of her leg.

Scooting toward the stream, the ex-soldier carefully lowered her bare foot and ankle into the cold water. The shock of the temperature made her tense, her wounded ankle already feeling like it was on fire from the pain, but she made sure no sound passed her lips as she let her foot come to rest on the smooth stones and soft mud at the base of the stream.

She dearly missed ice packs at moments like this, but a cold stream would have to do for now. At least the rushing water kept her 'ice pack' from getting warm.

Leaning back to rest on her elbows, Blair's head hung back and let her hair fall away from her face and shoulders, exposing the pale length of her throat as she attempted to force her muscles to relax. Thinking back to what had woken her, she realized that she probably looked like she was about to go and murder someone to Shane.

In truth, she hadn't even really looked at him and _saw_ him. She knew that she was somewhere unfamiliar, somewhere that wasn't alone or private, and all she wanted to do was get away. Of course, she didn't want anyone to think she was abandoning them so she left Titan back with the others, even if it put her own safety at risk. She was pretty high strung right now, and there was no chance in hell that she would fall back asleep any time soon, so it wasn't likely that a stumbling, uncoordinated walker would sneak up on her through the dark.

Giving her elbows a rest, Blair laid back on the cold ground and looked up to the stars that were visible through the dying trees. Another reason to like the autumn season; she could see the stars through the trees, with the bare branches looking like hands that were trying to reach out for the blinking lights among the black sky.

The cold water was thankfully doing its job, taking away the burn and throb from her ankle. At least this would help her to keep walking when the group left to find fuel in the morning. She'd need to do something when she got back to base, and Domonique was going to help her brother murder her when she found out that Blair had been pushing herself to this extent. Her lips twitched at the thought of the Spanish woman going off on her in half English, half Spanish lectures about taking care of herself and how stupid she was for letting it get to this point.

Then Connor would offer to hold her down while Dom put a brace of Blair's ankle.

Again.

Damn, she hated that brace. It was almost impossible to fit in her boot and made her itch. However, it was also the only thing that would appease their medic whenever Blair irritated the old injury. Any hint of humour left her, however, when she thought of her conversation with Andrea.

What would the others think if they knew she was discharged? Would they react like Andrea had?

The blonde had been watching Blair since they all regrouped, discretely looking for an injury that could have had her removed from the line of duty. It wasn't as though that secret would stay hidden forever. It was probably going to come up when they reached the base—if they didn't see it themselves, someone would let the cat out of the bag accidentally. Everyone at base was pretty good as respecting other's privacy, but something like disrespecting a war wound wasn't going to fly.

When she had been helping to train some new smoke jumpers before the outbreak, she'd been seen without her boots or long pants to cover her ankle and that had resulted in a trainee snickering and commented on how ugly the scars looked and that she appeared as though her ankle had been gnawed on like a dog's chew toy.

Jason, one of the men that they had unfortunately lost near the beginning of the outbreak, had broken the man's cheek bone with a strong right hook when he'd overheard. Domonique had apparently taken a bit of pleasure of poking and prodding the injury for the sake of 'I just want to be thorough', but Blair had recognized a creepy glint in her eyes. That glint only came up when she was pissed at a patient and punishing them with pain. The trainee, needless to say, didn't make the cut.

Knowing how Shane was, Blair had a feeling the next few weeks were going to be _very_ interesting.


	13. The Monsters We Hide

When Blair came back to the camp, Rick was the one on watch. It was nearly dawn, so she knew that she had lain with her foot in the stream for a good while—her pruny toes were another indicator. Titan, still awake and waiting, immediately rushed to greet her as she stopped where Rick was sitting at the entrance of the stone foundation.

Knowing that she wasn't going to be getting anymore sleep that night, Blair fell to sit next to Rick as Titan settled his front legs across her thighs.

"Nightmare, had to sort my head," she answered before Rick could even verbalize the question; she'd seen it in his eyes, the concern and curiosity. "Don't worry."

"If you're sure you're alright," he responded, though the worry didn't leave his expression. She didn't look worse for wear, aside from the visible fatigue on her face. She still walked steady and her shoulders were squared—always prepared for something. Trying to read Blair was like trying to see through a concrete wall.

Instead, Rick turned his eyes down to Titan. The mutt was licking at her fingertips, nosing her palm and huffing out hot breaths against her hands. She barely moved to scratch his snout, but when she did he began to calm. He was giving her small actions of comfort, something that Rick didn't overlook. This was a routine that he had learned; when Blair disappeared for any length of time, he must act like this. Or she was showing something that only Titan could see and therefore prompted him to act.

The sat in silence for a few minutes, the faint crack of flames behind them the only sound to fill the void. Blair was the one who spoke first. "How are we going to go about getting fuel?"

"We can't all go, but we need enough people that are capable of carrying about enough fuel for all the vehicles to reach the next town."

Blair nodded along in understanding, picking through the group in her mind as to who would be best to make the trip. "If I remember correctly, that walk can take up to two hours. We might find some abandoned vehicles before then but it's doubtful."

"Who would you recommend goes?" He trusted Blair's opinion more than most; she'd made this venture many times and then some. Avoiding vehicles was probably one of the main reasons she was still alive after having travelled so much. He understood the benefit, and the only downside that came to the forefront was having a restriction of how much she could carry at a time.

"Shane and T-Dog for sure, they're strong and can carry fuel without tiring as quickly. I'll go, I know the area. Daryl should come as well, but we'll need some people to stay back and guard our things and those who remain. Glenn, Hershel, Maggie…Carol and Lori with the kids. Andrea's also a good shot, would do good for her to stay back."

"And me?" Rick asked, noticing that she hadn't once mentioned him.

Those haunted eyes turned to look at him from the corner of her eye. "You and Shane can't go together," she stated outright, almost causing Rick to flinch. She was right, of course, but he didn't like that the tension between them was so palpable. "Not yet at least. I can tell you two are working through whatever caused a rift in the first place, Lori filled me in a bit, but it's still too raw."

"You think it's a good idea that you and Shane go together?" Rick countered. Nearly every time the two were near one another they were at each other's throats. "What if Shane stayed back, I go with you?"

She held his stare a moment before glancing back, toward the group that crowded among the foundation behind them. Shane had returned to his place near Lori, while Carl was wrapped up in his father's coat, still a distance from them. She could tell they were all sleeping, the steady rise and fall of their shoulders alongside the limp, completely relaxed posture that only came with unconsciousness.

"We can't both be away from him," she finally mumbled, her voice even lower than they had been keeping it thus far. Even though she didn't outwardly change or react, Rick could detect the serious tone in her voice that had his shoulders tensing. "He's not stable, and I don't think he'd hurt someone from the group but that man cannot be left to his own devices for long."

"You want to take him with you so you can babysit him?"

Blair's expression immediately soured. "I want some peace of mind that I'm not taking someone who's mentally unstable back home with me," she almost snarled in response, eyes narrowing. "See this from my perspective, Rick. That man is a loose cannon and I'm deliberately bringing him back to the only place that me and my family see as safe anymore."

Anyone who spent any length of time would know that Blair was protective; of herself and of those that she deemed close to her. In that moment, Rick saw just how protective she could be. The fierceness in which she was looking at him now, he knew that if Shane was a threat to her or anyone back at the base, he wouldn't survive what she would do to him. And that was just Blair; he didn't really want to think about the fact that there were many more people just as protective and strong as her waiting for them.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled bashfully, looking down at the first in front of him.

"I don't want to babysit him," Blair continued, but some of the hostility had thankfully bled from her tone. "I want to know him. I want to have a good idea on what I'm dealing with and there are three people that set his usual behaviour askew. You, Lori and Carl. If I remove you three from his presence, I'll get to see the real Shane, not the territorial one or the protective one. Just Shane."

"Can't promise he'll be any better."

"I know."

Silence fell between the two as they continued to stare out into the dark forest, keeping their senses focused on the darkness in case of danger. Titan was able to fall back asleep, still draped across Blair's lap with her hand running through his fur soothingly. It was familiar and therapeutic; relaxing her after the topic of Shane had riled her and left her tense.

She was thankful that Titan hadn't reacted to it; usually when she tensed up he had the habit of snarling at those who caused it, just like when she'd tensed upon first meeting the group.

Neither of the two spoke for the remainder of Rick's turn on watch, letting them enjoy the quiet of the night even as they remained somewhat tense from having to remain on guard. Only when the sun creased the horizon and lit the edge of the forest with a soft blue light did either of them rouse from their silence.

"At least the weather will be good," Blair commented finally, her voice cracking from hours of silence.

"What? How do you know?" Rick questioned somewhat groggily, having begun to feel the fatigue more after sitting in one place for so long.

Blair pointed out to the horizon—mostly masked through the trees but still visible. "Red sky at night, sailor's delight; red sky in the morning, sailor's warning. My father taught me that when I was a kid and it stuck. Hasn't been wrong yet, so the blue sky is a good sign."

Rick let out a soft laugh as he looked at the traces of blue in the distance. "I'll have to keep that one in mind," he chuckled, before rising from the damp ground. "Come on, let's get the other's up so we can eat and be on our way. We'll have to take some time to look for more supplies while we're out there."

Blair reluctantly woke Titan up and sent him out into the woods to go to the bathroom, knowing that he would be safe on his own. The movement and noise they made was enough to wake up Daryl, who appeared the lightest sleeper of the group. He didn't seem all that surprised when he spotted Blair already awake, though she appeared entirely fatigued as she walked over and gently jostled Andrea awake, Rick moving over to wake Shane and his family.

"What time is it?" Andrea grumbled out, taking in the darkness that still surrounded the little camp they had set up.

"Barely sunrise, but it's better to get an early start," Blair answered calmly, crouching next to the blonde as she steadily woke herself up. One by one, everyone began waking up at the prompting of the other group-members, huddling closer to the small fire that they'd kept going through the night.

"Anyone see any walkers while on watch?" Glenn asked first, looking between the three men that had been on watch.

"Nah, didn't even hear any," Daryl answered gruffly, tightening his coat around his torso when the wind began to pick up and was soon blowing in through the small entranceway. Shane and Rick reported the same, and when Rick glanced over to Blair, discretely checking with her, she shook her head in the negative. No sign of walkers while she was away from the camp.

"They're probably all still closer to the farm. From the looks of it, all the biters in the surrounding area were in that herd."

"Have you ever seen on that big before?" Andrea wondered aloud, glancing to the Scot beside her. Titan had returned and was sitting between Blair's thighs as she squatted with her back against the stone, her fingers carefully carding through his fur.

"No, never that big. Never more than a hundred, and that was definitely more."

Sophia meandered her way over, swathed in her coat, to greet Titan. The dog's fluffy tail immediately began to swish against Blair's boot as he happily sniffed and licked at the child's face. Blair smiled as Sophia giggled and ducked her head, wiping at the dog drool now on her face. "He's just saying good morning," she assured, ruffling the dog's floppy ears and long fur.

Once everyone was awake and moving, they each had a small portion of their rations to tide them over for the first couple hours until they could hopefully find something more alongside the fuel to take them to the base of the mountain. Rick had ended up silently placing his trust in Blair's decision on who was to go where, and stepped aside to let Shane, T-Dog, Daryl and Blair make their trip out of the little encampment.

"Fuel is the main need right now, there're other stops that we can make once we're back in the vehicles so food and other supplies can be left for later."

"What about if we take the truck you were driving?" Daryl asked as he snapped each of his arrows into the crossbow. "You said you had some fuel left."

"Maybe an hour's worth, but that's driving on fumes."

Blair was wearing her machetes across her back against, the rest of her gear left with Carol and Sophia to keep an eye on. She knew that she couldn't carry too much weight if she was going to be carrying fuel as well; not only would it be easier to carry fuel, but it would also make it easier on her ankle and not draw attention from the others. Thankfully, Andrea had learned her lesson and had stayed clear of that topic and Blair had noticed she wasn't watching her as closely either.

"If we don't find fuel we'll just be stranded somewhere else, we should walk," T-Dog threw in, knowing that it would probably be best to leave the others with at least one vehicle that had even just a minimal amount of fuel in it.

Daryl nodded along, knowing that if Blair and T-Dog both thought it was best to walk than he'd agree with them. Travelling by foot was more his style anyway. Shane looked like he wanted to protest, but since it was officially three/one, he knew that it wouldn't do him any good.

"Guess we're walking," he muttered, resting his shotgun on his shoulder. Blair eyed the large gun for a moment before releasing a long, near silent sigh and moved over to where the others were waiting to see them off. Hershel and Glenn had gone a couple minutes up the road and found the nearest intersection, which gave Blair enough information to find where they were on the map. Instead of taking the road, they were going to cut north through the forest to get to one of the nearby towns. It was a straight shot if they kept North, so she had her compass hooked to her belt and tucked neatly into the pocket of her newly acquired pants.

"Ready?" Carol asked first when they approached. Blair nodded her head, reaching down to ruffle Sophia's hair when the child looked at her in sadness.

"We'll be back later today, lass. Don't you worry."

"Okay," she muttered, but the sad eyes never really wavered.

Carol smiled in sympathy before she moved to give Blair a hug. "You be careful, okay? We don't know where that herd is now."

"You, too." They didn't know if the herd had followed them or if it was still clustered on Hershel's farm, so they all had to be on guard. At least those that were staying behind had the chance to hide in the vehicles. As Blair had put it for the rest of them 'hope you guys can climb trees'.

Blair could tell that Carol wasn't used to having someone to really say goodbye to in a situation that could lead to death. Blair knew the process too well, and felt bad for having to put the mother and daughter through it. Titan had originally been to stay back with them, just to give them a small bit of comfort, but she hadn't travelled with these three men before and there were doubts that she had about putting her life in their hands. T-Dog seemed like someone she could trust to have her back, but she wasn't sure. The only person that really had her trust was Daryl, but even he had never even fought walkers before her eyes so she couldn't be sure about how he would manage.

Shane was a whole other story.

"Let's get a move on," she called to the others, giving a nod to Rick where he was sitting on the hood of the car with Carl leaning against his side. Lori was saying goodbye to Shane and Carol had moved over to awkwardly give Daryl a hug as well. T-Dog seemed most impatient to be on the move.

Titan trotted over to Blair's side and fell in step with her when she began to walk away from the small group, heading for the trees. Behind her, Daryl kept a few paces behind but kept his eyes all around them. Once they broke through the trees, Blair sent Titan ahead of her, but made sure to keep him in her sights. Her compass was always easy access and she made sure to check it every few minutes and readjusting their course if they ever strayed from the Northern path.

Shane was bringing up the rear to keep an eye on those in front of him. However, he was mostly keeping an eye on the newest addition to their group. Blair walked through the forest like it was second nature; he hadn't even seen her stumble once and T-Dog had nearly slid onto his ass half a dozen times already. Blair didn't even look where she was walking, but somehow still avoided roots and uneven ground.

The black machete cases strapped across her back were somewhat haunting; she'd had them covered under her backpack up to that trip, so they weren't usually in plain sight. As much as he didn't like the woman, or at least felt an overwhelming irritation at her presence, he couldn't help but to want to applaud her ability to survive without a gun.

Her and her group's decision to use weapons that would last beyond a loss of ammunition was smart.

The silence of the group was broken only when Titan halted in place with his head turned to the left, and released a low whine. Shane barely heard it from where he was in the back, T-Dog focusing more on the sound of the surrounding forest that he missed it completely. Only Daryl actually caught the sound and paused as he watched the dog hunker toward the ground slightly; a couple paces behind the Collie, Blair was pulling one of her machetes free.

Striding up to the dog, she barely reached where he was waiting before two walkers emerged from the trees, a man and a woman that both looked like they'd been through hell and back—flesh hung from their bones and there was barely any semblance of clothing left on their frames. Blair swung at the closest one, the blade of her machete cleaving through the man's soft skull like butter, before she easily flipped the blade and hacked down onto the woman's head, dropping the two of them within five seconds.

Once the bodies were still on the ground, Titan moved up to Blair's side with his tail waving excitedly.

"Sorry lad, no treats this time," she muttered, but leaned down to press a kiss against the top of his head as she held her dripping machete away from him. Content with the praise, he simply continued on ahead once more as Blair pulled a worn rag from her back pocket to wipe off the majority of the blood so her freshly cleaned sheathes weren't ruined again.

"Damn," T-Dog muttered from his place beside Shane, the three men having stopped when Blair had drawn her weapon.

Blair didn't seem to care whether they were following her not; she checked her compass, righted her path, and continued.

"Gets shit done," Daryl mumbled before he followed after, Shane and T-Dog soon resuming their pace as well.

They didn't seem many walkers between the road and the town, Daryl taking out any that were a greater distance. They knew they'd be retracing their steps so he figured it was better to kill them now rather than just let them be and give them the chance to spook them on their return trip, arms loaded with whatever they found.

They town was right where the map had indicated, a straight shot through the woods heading North. Daryl spotted the faintest hint of the buildings first, many years of hunting in the woods giving him a keen eyesight that Blair was relieved to have on her side.

"No macho-independence while we're here," Blair started, eyes landing on Shane over her shoulder. "One person siphons and another watches their back. Last thing we need is some stupid screw up because we weren't being cautious."

"Now I'm starting to see the Gunnery Sergeant," T-Dog commented, amusement lightening his tone. Blair gave a faint smile before she called Titan closer to her, breaking through the treeline into the backyard of one of the houses. They weren't any cars in the driveway, and the house was in pretty dire shape. Windows busted and doors missing; there probably wouldn't even be reason to look in for supplies.

"Shane, you're with me. T-Dog, you and Daryl check the east side town. Try and find something we can carry the fuel in. We'll take west and do the same."

"I'm guessing we don't all have watches, so just meet back here when the sun hits the tops of the trees. That should give us enough time to make it back to the road with what we have," Shane continued, sounding strained as he glanced to Blair. She knew he wouldn't like that she was taking charge, and he'd probably hate even more that he was stuck with her. However, that was the entire point of Blair deciding to bring him along so she was sticking with her choice.

Parting ways, Blair and Shane headed west at a steady pace, stopping at every garage they came across and collecting the fuel containers they could find, which only happened to be two. Blair didn't make it obvious but she was keeping track of pretty much everything that Shane did from the moment they separated from T-Dog and Daryl; after having to do much the same to new guys in both the army and smokejumping, she was pretty good at it.

He was good at supply runs, she could tell that right off the bat. Even with things they weren't looking for; he was able to point out things in the garages that would be useful to them—although they were too much to carry and out of the question to take at the time.

"There," Blair stated quietly, pointing toward a car that was left smashed into a telephone pole. Whoever had been driving must have been in a hurry and skidded out of control or there was something that took place inside the car. Like a walker.

"You think there's a full tank?"

"One way to find out."


	14. Those Hard to Kill Habits

Shane knew exactly what Blair was doing when she declared that they were going to be walking together, Titan trotting just ahead of Blair at all times. He wasn't a fool. The Scot didn't trust him one bit, and he knew that it was largely in part to do with what had happened on Hershel's porch when she'd first arrived at the farm.

He could feel her eyes following him, the stormy, gunmetal-blue tracking each of his moves whenever he was within her view. It was a surprisingly familiar feeling; it reminded him of his academy days with Rick, when they'd always had someone breathing down their necks and marking each move they made before they were allowed out in the field.

King Country may have been a small town, but the old guys that came before them weren't about to hand the reigns off to just  _anyone_. Blair having come from a military family and serving her own time, she was probably a hell of a lot more acute with her attentions than the old cops he and Rick eventually replaced. And for someone to have reached the level of Gunnery Sergeant, she would have to have amazing leadership skills and almost terrifying knowledge of weapons.

The rasp of a walker cut through his thoughts, directing Shane's attention over to where Titan had stopped walking. The dog's warning had been so low, he hadn't even heard it. But the mutt was on alert and Blair was already pulling one of her machetes from the sheaths on her back. Most of the time the people of his group went at a walker with excessive aggressiveness—especially Andrea, he'd come to notice.

Blair barely batted an eye as she swung her machete from above, down at an angle so the side of the walker's head was sliced off completely.

She'd turned to leave before it even hit the ground.

"Good boy," she praised when she approached Titan again, holding the soiled machete away from the mutt as she scratched at his ears with her free hand. "That's a good lad." Titan preened at the attention, furry tail swishing from side to side excitedly as he basked in the attention. Turning to Shane again, she met his eyes for only a moment before beginning to walk in the direction they had been heading originally. Titan fell in step beside her this time, on the opposite side of her still drawn machete, and neither seemed to give a damn about Shane's eyes on them.

"You play well with others, Sergeant?" Shane suddenly asked from behind her, drawing Blair to glance over her shoulder briefly before she turned her attention forward again.

"That's Gunnery Sergeant to you,  _officer_." Her flippant dismissal of his question caused Shane's jaw to lock, but he knew better than to try for her again. So, instead, he turned his vigilance to the area around them so that no walkers could sneak up on his ass. He was already carrying one container of fuel that they'd been able to fill up, with the hopes of getting a second one before they had to turn back to meet with Daryl and T-Dog.

Blair's senses were very sharp, to the point that she was usually only a few seconds behind Titan with hearing a walker coming from somewhere nearby.

"So, Shane, will the relationship between you, Rick and Lori make things difficult for everyone else, or not?" she called over her shoulder after a brief silence, carefully checking around the side of the house they were passing as she did so. "Because there are a lot more people to think about than you three, and I don't need your shit to deal with, too."

Shane glared at the back of her head until she suddenly stopped and turned to face him, any softness or mirth usually in her expression completely absent.

"Well?"

"I don't have to answer to you," he snapped back in annoyance, approaching her in four long strides. However, the attempt at intimidation didn't work with Blair, as she simply offered a sneer and stepped closer to him until they were toe to toe, eye to eye.

"Is that what you think?" she questioned in a tone that bordered on teasing. "Here? Maybe not, not with any ground to stand on at least, but if you come with the rest of us to  _my_  base, with  _my_  family, you can be damn sure that you'll  _answer_  to me. And if not me, my brother." Tipping her head to the side as a snide, condescending smile touched her lips, Blair could see the irritation and anger welling up inside him. His eyes told no lies; he absolutely hated her. "You might have come across as some kind of…protector and noble leader with a group who can't protect themselves, but that ends. Now."

Stepping back from him, she put enough space between so she could lift the machete still in her hand, coated in the blood of the walker, and pointed it directly at his chest.

"What're you gunna do, huh?" Shane taunted back, the moment between them a battle of subtle strength and physical prowess. She held the machete with a still hand, the blade not even trembling against the threat to her person; and he held firm in the face of that danger. She had to silently applaud him for that; he didn't back down easily. It was something that she could respect from another person, especially after her line of work.

"Nothing, if you keep in line. But don't doubt for a second that I won't make the hard choice if it comes down to it." The sharp tip of the machete touched his chest to further prove her point. "You're not gunna like what happens when you step on the  _wrong_  toes."

Pulling back, Blair removed the blade from against his chest and flashed a fake, media worthy smile.

"But, like I said, nothing to worry about if you keep in line." As abruptly as their weird, threatening conversation started, she turned it around on its head in an instant. "Come on, that car looks locked up and intact." Striding away from him, her mutt followed loyally. However, there was slowness to his gate as he seemed to glare at Shane on his way passed him.

Growling in irritation, he could do no more than trail after the two of them toward a Toyota that looked better than most of the cars they'd seen so far. All of the windows were intact and the paint wasn't even scratched. "Even if this thing has gas, what're we gunna put it in?"

"Plenty of garages around here; there's gotta be someone who has another container," Blair responded, glancing around at the houses in the close vicinity. "Probably skip over any that are open, usually means that whatever was inside has already been raided."

"Thought you stuck to forests?"

"Not many canned goods or other supplies found in the trees, Shane. I avoided roads, doesn't mean I don't know where to look for supplies." Blair didn't even wait for Shane to try and make another snarky remark about her way of travelling, and instead began toward the house across the street that had the garage door closed.

Thankfully it wasn't an automatic, so she just had to grab the handle in the middle of the door and pull to lift it. She made sure to only lift a couple of inches and give Titan the time to sniff the exposed space. When he showed no signs of picking up on a walker, she hauled the door open entirely. Shane stepped up behind her before he completely recoiled, the stench of rotting bodies almost causing Blair to gag while covering her nose with her forearm.

Hanging from one of the support beams further back, a man and a woman dangled from thick cords of rope they had wrapped around their necks. Blair narrowed her eyes against the sting that accompanied the burning smell, looking over the decomposing, shrivelled bodies. They hadn't tightened the cord in the correct place, so they didn't die quickly.

"They did it wrong," she mumbled quietly, lowering her arm as the open door helped to air it out quickly.

The man beside her looked from the bodies to her, suspicion on his gaze. "What?"

Blair glanced back at Shane briefly. "They hung themselves wrong; it just cut off their air supply—that's a slow way to go. Hanging yourself, you'd want to break the bone, make it quick."

Shane recoiled slightly at her blunt way of speaking, but he also knew that she was telling the truth. He'd heard about it before, he knew that she was right, even if it was something morbid to point out. Turning back to her previous task, she stepped over some of the junk that littered the ground toward the back corner of the garage, picking up the bright red gas container that he had yet to even notice.

She had indifference toward the dead, it seemed.

It wasn't that she didn't care about what happened to people, he could see the remorse in her eyes at the sight of two more people who'd given up, but she must have seen enough of it that she no longer batted an eye.

"Let's go," she ordered as she walked passed him, machete in one hand with the empty container in the other. Shane stared after her for a moment before he pulled the garage door back down—hopefully there was be some supplies they could find when they came back with vehicles.

Titan walked in a wide arc around her, keeping vigil even as Blair let her guard down just enough to kneel by the side of the truck to prepare siphoning out the fuel. Shane stood a couple yards back, keeping vigil around their location, just in case her dog missed anything. Their first container of fuel sat at his feet, freeing his hand as he held his shotgun with both. Blair didn't seem rusty as she siphoned the gas, her motions filled with ease with what she was doing. One machete remained drawn, lying on the ground next to her foot so it was easily accessible.

"We're running out of time," Shane called over to her, keeping his voice low enough that it wasn't going to draw attention to them. His eyes lingered on the lowering sun, nearly reaching the tops of the trees.

"We'll head back to meet with the guys after this," she proposed, pulling the tube from the tank and knocking as much as possible into the container.

Titan suddenly whined low, hunkering down as he bared his fangs. Blair's head snapped in the direction his nose pointed, but her eyes picked up nothing and no sound reached her ears. Shane, too, went on alert and raised his gun as his eyes darted along the trees in an attempt to see why the dog was giving warning. "Why's he doin' that?" he asked quietly, stepping in closer to Blaire as she picked up her machete and slowly rose.

"That means biters," she answered just as quietly. Titan stopped growling, but he remained with his hackles high and took small steps backward, in Blair's direction.

However, neither of them could see the biter that had apparently caught Titan's attention. Blair finally moved forward, motioning Titan to stay back and quiet, and approached the trees cautiously. Shane remained where he was, gun raised to fire—if Blair didn't know that she was in the path of that bullet, it was all the same to him.

Faster than he anticipated, Blair spun around with her machete and sliced through the head of a walker that he hadn't even seen emerging from around a cluster of trees, the largest of the trunks masking it from his sights. The top half of the walker's head hit the ground and rolled in a spray of blood, further coating her machete with coagulating death.

Titan sniffed carefully, but he eventually relaxed as Blair leaned down to wipe the blood from her machete on the walker's clothing. "All that for one," she mumbled, turning back to retrieve the container. "At least it waited until I was finished."

Shane scoffed, but he lowered his gun and turned to head in the direction of the meeting place, bending to pick up his container.

" _Stop._ "

Blair's head whipped around so fast she was sure her neck as likely to snap, her eyes landing on the man that had emerged from behind a nearby building, a small revolved trained on Shane, but moving over to point at her a moment later. "Gotta be fuckin-"

"Shut up!" the man interrupted Shane, training the gun back on him. Blair's eyes narrowed as she watched the man's overly twitchy movements—it reminded her of an addict who'd been too long without a fix. "Put down the fuel, and your weapons," he ordered shakily. He was sweating and pale; she was half-certain that if he fired that gun he'd miss them anyway, with the way that his hands were shaking.

Blair, unable to do anything, put the container and machete down as she glanced over to Shane. He growled low in irritation, but he couldn't do much else with a gun—shaking or not—trained on his head. So, he placed his gun at his feet as well.

"All of them!" the man shrieked, continuing to wave his gun. Blair sneered at the sound, but pulled her other machete free and lowered it down as well, letting the metal clatter down onto the cracking pavement. Shane pulled the spare handgun from the belt of his pants and put that at his feet as well. Blair's eyes flicked down to the handgun, keeping her hands lifting at waist height to give an impression of complacency.

Shane was only a couple of feet in front of her, the distance between her and the gun was shorter than her height. The man's eyes were directed at the canister she'd just filled from the car's tank, just to her left where she'd put it down. As he was distracted from them, his thoughts straying and his already scattered attention shifting further, the gun in his hand dipped slightly to the side—it was only a few inches, but it was enough that it wouldn't hit Shane if he fired.

Looking to the ex-cop, she could see the faintest bend in his knees as he prepared to crouch quickly in hopes of retrieving one of his guns.

She didn't give him the chance.

Lunging forward, the man before them was so startled with the action that his finger squeezed the trigger and the gun went off with a bang that echoed throughout the surrounding area. Blair knew that meant walkers and the others of the group would hear it. Her hand closed around the discarded handgun, one hand snapping the safety out of position while the other cradled the weapon with practiced ease and raised it as she simultaneously went down to one knee hard.

The second gunshot had Shane ducking on instinct, grabbing his shotgun as he hit the ground.

Blair could feel the immediate throb of her knee, knowing that her pants were more than likely torn from skidding on the concrete. The man's gun clattered to the ground before his body crumbled like a puppet with no strings, blood oozing from the remains of his right eye—where there was very little left of an eye. A long, slow exhale escaped Blair as her shoulders, once locked tight, were forced to relax while her hand continued to clutch the handgun in a death-grip.

Shane looked over his shoulder with wide eyes, the shotgun left unnecessary in his hands, and met with the gunmetal blue of Blair's eyes. "What the  _fuck_?"

"It would have been too slow to grab your shotgun," she answered honestly. Her tone was like ice, lacking any of the minimal emotion she showed around him to that point. In that instant, Shane could see the soldier that had been trained and conditioned ruthlessly. She stood up fluidly, robotically, and snapped the safety back into place before she grabbed the barrel of the gun and held it out to him, handgrip first.

Shane's eyes darted from her eyes to the gun, hesitating as he looked at it in her pale hand.

Before he could grab the gun from her, the sound of running footsteps had him turning back around with his shotgun raised. However, he quickly removed his finger from the trigger when he spotted Daryl and T-Dog rushing from around one of the further houses, their own weapons drawn as they followed the sounds of gunshots.

Blair relaxed just a bit more before she placed the gun on the ground, still kneeling as she was, and turned to retrieve her knives. Titan was lying flat on the ground, his eyes looking up at her in silent question. The second the first gunshot had gone off, he'd dropped to the ground as low as he could get and remained that way until Blair motioned for him to stand. He'd jumped toward her, sniffing at her face while she combed her fingers through the fur at his shoulders.

The smallest of whines were coming from him, clearing sensing that something wasn't right with the woman he faithfully followed everywhere, and it broke Blair's heart to know that she was the cause. "It's alright, lad. It's alright."

"What the hell happened?" T-Dog snapped as he and Daryl spotted the dead man lying across the pavement.

"Tried to rob us at gun point," Shane explained as he bent to pick up the gun that Blair discarded. "Didn't work out so well for him."

T-Dog was carrying a similar container to Blair's, though slightly larger, and Daryl had what appeared to be a dead rabbit hanging at his hip. Blair didn't spare them much thought as she picked up their own gasoline and shook away the hair which had fallen into her face. "We should get back," she started blandly. "That'll have drawn in walkers." T-Dog looked ready to protest, but Blair walked passed him and Daryl without another word. The latter of the two noticed the bloodstain that was now marring her pants, the tear in the fabric not having been there when they'd split up. Titan trotted alongside her, much closer than he had when they were walking to the town.

The large black man looked to Shane. "How the hell did you manage to shoot the guy holding you at gun point?" he asked incredulously, motioning to the dead body as Daryl retrieved the revolver while he kept a discrete eye on Blair's quickly shrinking figure.

"I didn't," Shane answered roughly, also watching Blair as he returned the handgun, safety still on, to his belt. "She did."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that this update has been so long in the making! I was a bit caught up with other stories and couldn't find the inspiration to work on my Walking Dead stories for a while.


	15. When the Past Knocks

They returned to the group with three containers of fuel, enough to distribute through the vehicles and get them far enough to civilization and more gasoline. Blair and Shane carried theirs while T-Dog was holding the one that he and Daryl had obtained; the archer was on guard with Titan as he took out any walkers, leaving the other three to the burden of their loads. No one spoke, much as it had been on the way into the town, but there was a tense air between the four of them that  _had not_  been there before.

Blair was walking with a tense posture, her shoulders locked so tight that Daryl was surprised she hadn't cramped up from carrying the gasoline. He was also keeping an eye on her stride—he was waiting for any sign of a limp. Shane, too, was waiting for the after effects of her dive for the gun, but she never showed any on the way through the woods.

She handled the terrain just as expertly as she had hours before.

The others rushed to meet them as soon as they emerged from the woods, each of them babbling about hearing a gunshot and demanding to know if they were okay, and what had happened. "A man tried to rob us," Blair answered tiredly as she handed her container over to Glenn, who accepted the burden with a nod and left to go and begin filling the depleted car. "He's dead," she added a moment later, keeping her tone low as her eyes glanced over to where Sophia and Carl were wrapped in larger jackets in one of the trucks, safe from the chilly wind.

"Are you guys okay?" Lori asked in surprise, looking over the four of them. None of them looked any worse for wear. Her eyes paused on Blaire's leg, however, as she took in the torn material over one knee. The faintest trace of blood was barely detectable. She didn't even have a chance to ask her what happened before Blair stepped passed her and Andrea, beginning to unstrap her machetes from her back.

"We're fine. He got a shot off, but he missed. I'm going to go and clean these before they rust," she explained on her way toward the stream, the same one she had occupied the night before. Rick's eyes followed her as she departed from them, Titan trotting after her closely. He tried to lick at her hand, but Blair pulled it away and held out her palm to silently deter him from doing it again.

The action of rejection worried Rick.

"What really happened?" he asked, looking over to Daryl. The hunter wore a deep-set frown, deeper than usual. However, he was not the one to answer. Instead, his eyes slanted over to Shane.

"She shot him," his old friend replied bluntly. "He had a gun on us, so we put our weapons down and next thing I know Blair shot the guy in the head. She went down so fast for that gun; I didn't even realize she'd moved." There was badly-masked awe in Shane's words. Grudging respect. His face held only seriousness as he faced Rick completely. "She had about two seconds and she not only got the gun and fired, but she got the guy through the  _eye._  I doubt that was just luck."

"Her knee's cut up," Lori pointed out. "That was from-"

"She dove for the gun. Didn't pause."

T-Dog shook his head. "Dunno how she's not limping."

Rick rested his hands at his hips, staring down at the frozen ground as he tried to process through everything that had been said. "She's hiding it. I doubt this is the first time she's hidden an injury. Any less of a soldier, she'd be limping." The small group glanced in the direction that Blair had walked, hidden among the trees. They couldn't even see Titan's bright white fur, but they knew that the dog would be close to his master.

"Can't doubt her now, huh?" T-Dog asked suddenly, glancing at Shane before he, too, left the group to hand his container of gasoline over to Glenn. The sun was setting rapidly, so the remainder of them quickly dispersed to prepare for another night. They might still try and make for the town before full dark, but that depended entirely on the group's decisions. If majority voted that it would be worth the risk, they would head out to find better shelter for the night.

No one went to Blair, the woman's frigid exterior telling them that it was best to leave her be for a short while. Cleaning her machete's and their casings may have been an honest necessity, but it was just as likely an excuse to get away from the rest of them. Even if only for a few minutes.

Sophia asked where the woman was nearly immediately, only calming down when her mother assured her that Blair was perfectly safe. Sophia knew first-hand how resourceful and strong the woman was, and therefore relaxed into the truck's cushions as she awaited the return of Blair and her furry companion. The children were blissfully ignorant to the emotional goings-on of the adults in regards to Blair; they didn't know the harsh reality of why Blair and Titan were so  _awesome._

Neither of their parents could bring themselves to admit the horrors behind the making of a national hero.

In the woods, Blair was finished cleaning the one machete she had used and had fallen to sit on the ground beside the stream. Titan had taken a generous drink before she had begun to clean the blood off of polished metal, and was now nestled against her side as he stayed awake but rested. Blair had her pant-leg rolled up above the knee, exposing the mildly torn skin above the joint that was littered with tiny pieces of rock.

Picking out the tiny fragments proved to be a decent distraction, but she still found her mind wandering back to the feel of the gun in her hand, the familiar kickback that rocked her joints from wrist to shoulder. Her ears rang from the resounding bang that issued from the chamber, her arm still left with a lingering tingle from the force of the gunshot.

The pain distracted her from her thoughts, keeping her grounded in reality as she nimbly removed the debris before she carefully splashed some of the stream's water over the bleeding wound. She had nothing to use as a bandage, so she simply sat and let it air out, hopefully to stop the bleeding more efficiently so she could return to the others.

There would be questions, accusations. They wouldn't look at her the same. And of course it had to be Shane of all people that was with her when it happened. Was he going to spin some terrible tale of her murdering a man in cold blood, stealing his gun to commit the terrible act?

Titan whined beside her suddenly, her attention dropping to where he was looking up at her with large, sad eyes.

"You're hungry," she realized. "Sorry, lad. Let's go eat."

Rising onto one sturdy, and one shaking leg, Blair pulled her pant-leg down to cover the wound—but the ruined material above it was easily noticeable—and collected her weapons to head back to the group. Titan happily jumped up to follow, fluffy tail waving back and forth as he marched alongside her in excitement. The ex-soldier took a deep, careful breath; the cold air was strong and refreshing, easing her mind at least somewhat.

Rick moved to greet her when she approached, his face serious but worried.

"Shane told us what happened," he started immediately, not bothering to avoid the subject. "Thank you for saving him." The words caused Blair to flinch and blink in surprise. What? She had been preparing herself for the worst, and Rick was thanking her? "I know you don't like him—I've wanted to shoot him myself a couple of times—but you saved him, instead. So thank you. How's your knee?"

She was silent for a moment, staring in awe before she followed Rick's line of sight to the bloodstain that surrounding the tear above her knee. The lack of proper daylight made the blood look black and terrifying. Her pale skin was barely visible through the hole, a faint show of red easier to see against her white, Scottish pallor.

"It stopped bleeding. I'll be fine; had worse over the years." Titan gave a huff and chuffed quietly beside her, reminding her of the reason she had ventured back toward the group anyway. "I know, I know—dinner."

Rick chuckled at the dog's answering chuff, his ears lifting when he heard the familiar, hunger inducing word. "Lori and Andrea made some food out of what we could find. Do you have food for him still?"

Blair just nodded as she fell in step next to Rick, allowing him to walk her back to the group. She had one more can of dog food in her bag, so she hoping that she could find some that had been left in the houses when they went back to the town. That was one of the only benefits of snooping through houses—most rations for humans were looted already, but there were very few who thought to grab the animal food from stores and homes. It was easy to stock up on canned dog food and large bags of kibble, but she had been slowly running out since she had overstayed her welcome beyond the gates of her base.

"Titan!" Sophia cheered excitedly as she rushed up to greet the dog, Carl soon doing the same.

"He's got to eat his dinner, too. Want to give me a hand, lass?" Blair asked calmly with a smile, dropping her machetes next to her bag. Sophia nodded excitedly as Blair retrieved the small can of food and the plastic bowl that he usually ate out of. "You remember how messy he is, yea? He used to eat out a heavy metal bowl, so this one needs to be held for him or he'll just push it across the ground until he hits a tree." Sophia and Carl giggled at the woman's explanation, watching her use a knife to open the lid of the can and scrape the foul-smelling food into the bowl.

"Yuck!" Carl sneered, leaning away when he caught the scent of it.

Blair couldn't help but to laugh; that was the popular reaction. "What? This is gourmet, ya know?" Sophia laughed at her peer's expense, having been around Titan and his terrible smelling dog food already. Blair handed the bowl over to the child, letting her cup it sturdy in her hands, before she had Titan sit in front of her and made him wait for the signal. "You remember, lass?"

"Mm-hmm," Sophia confirmed with a hum, nodding her head. Blair nodded back before she stood, letting Sophia take the reins. "Okay. Titan, dinner!" The dog nearly dove for her once he heard the command, immediately beginning to devour his food. Sophia squealed at the force, fighting to keep the bowl in place as the Collie vigorously pushed his face into the plastic container.

"Titan," Blair rumbled in warning. "Easy."

The dog slowed instantly, taking her warning into account and easing up on the pressure he was putting the young child under.

Lori watched the exchange from where she was sitting with Carol, who was keeping an eye on their meager food as it cooked over the fire, and felt a sense of relief to know that Blair was still…Blair. The expression on the woman's face when she had returned to them had been almost terrifying, the lack of emotion something that they were not used to with the Scot. She was expressive, especially her eyes, but this time there had been nothing.

It had been like looking at a statue. Or a true, battle-worn soldier.

"I'm sure we're all getting sick of beans," Carol spoke up suddenly, drawing gunmetal-blue eyes over to them, "but at least it's food."

Blair gave Titan another pat, nodding to Sophia with a smile, before she approached the women with a slow, careful gate. Lori glanced at her knee again, noticing the clean skin beneath the tear that assured her it had already been cleaned. "There's a couple of houses that Shane and I passed in the town that looked like they were still in good shape. Are we heading out at first light?"

"Probably; I don't think it's worth it to venture out into the dark. Especially now that we know someone else was hiding out there," Carol answered easily, not realizing the effect of her words. Lori could see the abrupt constriction of Blair's pupils in the light of the fire, but she was able to hide any other reaction. Lori and Rick were the only ones who knew about what happened, the others not having been present when Shane explained what Blair had done. They knew that there was a man who tried to rob them, but simply knowing that he was dead appeased them and no further questions like 'who did it?' came up.

"He was one desperate man," Blair explained quietly, falling to sit on her butt on the cold ground, just to Lori's left and still quite near to the fire. "I think he was an addict, too. He acted like a man going through withdrawal, or coming down from a high." Her words were soft, quiet enough that the children a couple of paces away didn't hear her.

Andrea and T-Dog entered the small rock enclose before anything more could be said, with the woman gushing about the smell of food as she handed their pathetic bowls over to Lori so they could be filled and distributed. Slowly, the rest of the group trickled in as their pot of baked beans dwindled down to nothing. Titan finished his food and came to join her, leaning heavily against her side as she absently stroked the top of his head. An equal comfort for the both of them. Sophia and Carl each settled next to their mother's, chatting excitedly over Lori's lap.

The group made no comment when Shane, of all people, sat next to Blair and Titan as he accepted his share of food from Lori. His newly found love gave him a curious look, one that bordered on warning, but he just nodding his head in understanding as his eyes flicked briefly to Blair's stony expression. The fire warmed her pale skin, making her dark blue eyes look oddly green in the soft glow.

"So, we'll head out at daybreak?" she asked suddenly, looking up from the fire and glancing at those who surrounded it. Daryl was the one across the flames from her, leaning against what was left of the stone foundation as he slowly ate his food. Rick was to his right, nodding his head since his mouth was full at the time; Shane was the only one to verbally answer.

"Yea, we'll keep here for the night. Not safe running out into the dark."

Titan chose that moment to chuff quietly, rolling onto his back against Blair's thigh—nearly kicking Shane as he wiggled and eyed the woman's half-full plate of beans—and draw giggles from the nearby children. Blair gave him the evil-eye as she lifted to plate away from him, toward her right side. "You ate, you bugger."

Andrea smiled at the dog's antics, relieved to feel some of the strange tension bleed away from the enclosed space. "Are all your dogs like this?" she asked quietly, barely loud enough to be heard over the snap and crack of the fire.

Blair shook her head in exasperation as she pushed Titan with the leg he leaned against, rolling him onto his side to face Shane. "Nah, this one's a nut. Spoiled as the devil, so he thinks he can get away with anything."

"I take it you weren't the one to do the spoiling," Lori commented off-hand.

"Hell no," she grumbled, glaring playfully at the mutt as he rolled onto his back again, kicking her in the arm with his front paws as he demanded either food or play. "You're a wee demon," she growled back at him, taking his two front paws in one hand and rolling him away again, onto his side. He nipped playfully at her hands, trying to instigate something, but she just let him catch her palm in his jaws before she grabbed his upper jaw and shook his head gently.

It was amazing to see the trust she had in him, knowing that he wouldn't bite down with mal-intent and end up hurting her.

"Now, you stop," she ordered calmly, taking back her hand and wiping the saliva on her pants. Titan gave a short whine before he huffed and dropped his head, lying on his side near her thigh as he finally gave up his advances. Rick shook his head with a grin, finishing his meal and placing his bowl on the stack to be cleaned. Short minutes later, everyone was finished and the stack of dishes was complete—most of which were scraped so clean there was barely anything that needed to be washed away. Blair volunteered to take them to the stream to be washed, but Carol and Lori jumped before she could even rise from the ground.

"Hershel has some first-aid supplies; you need to bandage your knee," Lori stopped her with quick words, a hand on her shoulder and a motion for Carol to go and grab the kit. Blair could do nothing more than open her mouth to protest, but Lori gave her a motherly glare that she knew meant no arguing. Sighing in defeat, she went lax under Lori's hand. Taking the woman's silent surrender, Lori nodded in acceptance.

The others trickled away to grab their supplies for the night, all the while discussing who would be on watch at what time. Rick took Carl and Sophia with him and Andrea, stating that if they needed to use the bathroom, now would be the time. Soon, it was only Blair and Lori in their protective stone surroundings.

Knowing that there was no getting out of it, Blair rolled her pant-leg up to her knee—silently and eternally thankful that her tall ankle boots masked her ankle so no one could see the damage and kick up more drama over injuries. Her knee wasn't as bad off as the torn pants and blood made it seem, but Lori could easily see that it was already red and irritated. "I already cleaned it in the stream, it's fine."

"It could get infected," Lori warned in answer, taking a careful look at the scrape. Having a son, she had treated her fair share of busted knees and elbows over the years, but this was very different. Blair was much heavier than Carl, and had gone down onto that one knee with all of her body weight behind it—this resulted in a larger area of injury and deeper penetration sights where rocks and debris had torn into her skin. A closer look confirmed that Blair had already picked out all of the rocks, and she couldn't see any that had been missed, but for something to have been in the other woman's flesh it made her worry about infection.

Blair's expression darkened slightly. "I dealt with worse without a medic on standby," she answered quietly. Lori froze, her eyes lingering on the simple wound, as Blair reached for Titan and absently began stroking his fur. Without thinking, Lori reached out and rested her hand on Blair's calf, below her newest wound. Blair pulled her leg back so suddenly that Lori actually jumped, almost stumbling into the fire but catching herself in time.

The icy chill in Blair's eyes faded as she looked at Lori's startled expression, her leg still retracted toward herself.

"Sorry," she muttered finally, relaxing her posture and stretching her leg out once more. The abrupt pull on her knee joint, however, had reopened the wound and beads of blood were beginning to collect on her pale skin.

Carol returned at that moment, gasping when she noticed the fresh blood. "Oh, what happened?" she asked quietly, kneeling next to Blair as she placed the small kit between them.

Blair look at Lori reluctantly, regret clear in her expression. "I flinched."


End file.
